*Pre-show thoughts: Can baseball players act?

Let me say this first: I didn't watch the musical acts at all. So they won't even be mentioned b/c I didn't record them on my tape and forgot when they performed.

[COLD OPEN] - You might be a terrorist if...
This was hilarious.
Great lines:
"If the return address on your mail reads 'a cave,' you just might be a terrorist."
"If your idea of female nudity is shoing an excessive forehead, all signs point to your being a terrorist."
9/10

[MONOLOGUE]
This was predictable, but not bad. Entertaining enough. The people in the audience shouting "Nomar!" was funny.
8/10

[COMMERCIAL] - Preparation H
See the Reese Witherspoon review

[SKETCH] - Muchas Iglesias
This was hilarious!! Jimmy singing = good. The talk/sing poetry was funny. So was Derek's Iglesias bros.'s "irregular mole."
9/10

[SKETCH] - Baseball Wives
The drag reminds me of Kids in the Hall. Jeter doesn't make a bad woman. Amy looks good with brown hair. I guess those 2 guys who came in are baseball players?
Great lines:
"No, Jeter does not do it for me. He looks like if the Rock had sex with a muppet." - Jeter
7/10

*Next week - Hugh Jackman is an actor, Mick Jagger is old.

[SKETCH] - Masseuse (sp?)
Chris's little winks at the beginning were funny. So was him reacting to the Enya and stuff. This almost got boring but then the ending was so unexpected!! It was great!
9/10

[COMMERCIAL] - Dissing Your Dog
Pretty funny stuff.
Great line:
"So for now, let's just go w/ the Alpo. Oh and keep in mind: you're a fucking dog."
7/10

[SKETCH] - Derek Jeter's Taco Hole
More Jimmy singing!! Nice & short.
7/10

[SKETCH] - Dealing w/ mom & dad
Chris & Amy did really well. Chris's run thing when he went out the door was funny. Other than that, kind of boring.
Great line:
"Oh my gosh, if I was 15, I'd so have sex w/ you!" - Bridget (Amy)
6/10

[WEEKEND UPDATE]
THis was such a good WU. Lots of great quotes. I think after today, I'm gonna stop commenting on Jimmy's hair. The Charlotte Church joke was mean, although I guess she deserved it. Seth did so well in the point-counterpoint thing. Him screaming "DEREEEEK" at Jeter over and over was hilarious. On to quotes:
Great lines:
"The 7-11 chain is considering opening a store in Times Square, which completely changes the meaning of going to Times Square to get a slurpee." - Tina
Tina: "Men masturbate all the time. Right Jimmy? Back to you."
Jimmy: ::long pause:: "Rarely, if ever."
"But if they [museum] want me to start going there again, they're gonna have to name the campaigne "Sorry we yalled at you for touching stuff, Jimmy Fallon." - Jimmy
"The Brazillian city of Espertina (sp?) has announced that orgasm day will be celebrated on May 9. They hope you come." - Jimmy
"Jeter, you suck in 3 very specific ways: so bad, so hard, and wicked bad. - Seth
"If there was a world series of sucking you'd have like 100 rings." - Seth
9/10

[SKETCH] - Osama
Waaaaay too long. Boring
5/10

[SKETCH] - Home Perm
hahaha porno hair.
6/10

[PERFORMANCE] - Christmas Song
I <3ed this last year!!
They totally messed up hahaha
Horatio was rocking out there at the end
9/10 for messing up a little

[JACK HANDEY] - My big thick novel
I'm gonna stop grading these as of now since they suck so much.

*Post-show thoughts: So overall, this was great. Maybe the best this season. Looking forward to Hugh Jackman, who I hear is great. See ya next week.

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