My Score System:
5: Classic Sketch
4 1/2: Really really good sketch.
4: Tight
3 1/2: Nice
3: Average
2 1/2: Bellow Average
2: Sucked
1: Totally Wack

The Intro:
My bad for calling Weekend Update the Weakest Link. I love Weekend Update. It was actually a mistake, I was typing too fast. Also, I'd like to say my bad for all those spelling mistakes and what nots and not whats. 
Here is my prediction for the show. I think Derek Jeter is going to be a poor actor and just read the cue cards all night. I love both Bubba Sparxxx and Shakira's singles. Shakira got an ass and a voice that is just as sexy as her phat donkey. I also heard she writes her own songs and produce her own beats, it's about damn time we have a yong pop singer that actually has talent and not ride on their looks, unlike N'Sync, Brittny Spears and the rest of them. Bubba Sparxxx isn't that much of a keen lyricist but he just rides that Timbaland back drop real well. Timbaland's production is the only thing that carries Bubba Sparxxx. I think he might end up being a one hit wonder.

Sketch: Intro
Players: Darrell Hammond & Will Ferrell
What I Have To Say About It: This was a creative way to do the opener (redo Jeff
Foxworthy's act and replace Red Necks with Terrorist). Well...not really
creative, but it's a change of speed from the usual "George W. is stupid"
jokes.
Key Player: Darrell Hammond
Weakest Link: Will Ferrell
Score: 3.5 (of 5)
===============================================================
Sketch: Monologue
Players: Derek Jeter
What I Have To Say About It: Ohhhhh shit! This was good. It was sooo funny and
it was something I wasn't expecting. It looked real...I knew it had to be
part of the joke when that guy got hit with the balls 4 times in the stomach
and puked. The first lady that got hit, I was like "oh my god!, she is going to
sue his ass, was this a mistake or was this meant to happen" lol, because
at first I thought some writer was going to catch it and then start telling some
crappy jokes, but they totally took me by surprised. I loved this. I'm going
to remember this one for a while. This has got to be the best monologue this
season so far. Then the guy that got the bat stuck in between him also had
me rolling. This is a classic.
Key Player: Derek Jeter
Weakest Link: none
Score: 5 (it's a classic)
==============================================================
I don't rate commercials more than once.
==============================================================
Sketch: The Iglesias Bros.
Players: Derek Jeter, Jimmy Fallon, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Chris Kattan,
and Rachel Dratch
What I Have To Say About It: It was okay. Hey, Maya, Jimmy & Kattan look sorta
different now. It looks like Maya's eyes are wider, Jimmy's hair is longer
and Kattan is getting fatter. I don't know, I just notice little unimportant
crap like that all the time. This sketch could have been scraped. I know
Jeter was supposed to sound dull and stuff, but he sounded duller than dull.
I knew he was going to be one of those host like Christopher Walken and
just read the whole night.
Key Player: Jimmy Fallon
Weakest Link: Derek Jeter
Score: 3
===============================================================
Sketch: Wives on the Yankees
Players: Derek Jeter, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Ana Gasteyer, Rachel Dratch
What I Have To Say About It: This sketch surprised me too. I'm not surprised that the
fact that they did a sketch like this (because of Jeter hosting and all) but
more surprised that it made me laugh and it was one of the funniest sketches
of the night. Maya had me rolling. I loved Ana & Amy's little dialogue and
I was sorta thinking about giving the Key Player title to either Jeter or
Poehler but Maya was just a tad better. Rachel didn't do much for me in
the sketch though. I was also surprised that Derek delivered his jokes
nicely. I'm not gay or anything but Jeter looked good as a woman. Maybe
because his face is clean.
Key Player: Derek Jeter (I changed my mind, I was going to give it to Maya).
Weakest Link: Rachel Dratch
Score: 4.5 (of 5)
===============================================================
Sketch: Masseuse
Players: Derek Jeter, Chris Kattan
What I Have To Say About It: I usually don't like one joke sketches but this one was
funny. Hey, it does sorta look like Kattan has gotten a little fatter. Just a
tad. Well, to me it does. That's not important. This sketch was real funny.
Kattan's facial expressions is what got me going. I also liked the part when
Kattan tried to give Jeter a hug and he slapped his hand away. Another
line I liked was "one of us is gonna get naked in here".
Key Player: Chris Kattan
Weakest Link: Derek Jeter
Score: 4 (of 5)
===============================================================
Sketch: Dissing Your Dog
Players: Will Ferrell
What I Have To Say About It: This sketch was funny too. Like a dog is gonna
understand sarcasm. Will is mos def the funniest guy on the show.
I also liked the part when Will said "oh I know you didn't want the kibbles
and bits but I fed it to you anyway because it's not like you are going to
know the difference because your a f*cking dog" or something like that.
Anyway, this sketch was hot!
Key Player: Will Ferrell
Weakest Link: none
Score: 4 (of 5)
================================================================
Sketch: Taco Hole
Players: Derek Jeter, Maya Rudolph, Horatio Sanz, Dean Edwards, Will Ferrell
What I Have To Say About It: Does Jeter really have a Taco Hole Resturaunt??
This sketch wasn't funny, I guess all he wanted to do was advertise his
resturaunt. When Jeter said "dog night" I thought that was a joke and they
meant they were serving dog....but it wasn't, he just meant bring your dog.
Will this was a good way to advertise his resturaunt. I thought Maya
was a little boy or something next to all of them.
Key Player: Derek Jeter
Weakest Link: Horatio Sanz
Score: 2 (of 5)
==============================================================
Sketch: Dealing With Mom & Dad
Players: Will Ferrell, Derek Jeter, Ana Gasteyer, Amy Poehler, Chris Kattan, others
What I Have To Say About It: Is this a real show? If it isn't I bet this is a returning
sketch. This was pretty good. Derek Jeter did good playing himself (the
part he was born to play) and who ever wrote this gave Jeter the better
jokes. Chris Kattan also had good lines. I liked when Amy said "if I was
16 I would soooo have sex with you". The quotes that really perked my
ears was when Jeter said "here is some advice kid.....don't play ball
because you suck" and "this kid is the worst and I work with blind kids,
have you ever even seen a baseball". Hey, did ya'll notice that the smacking
sound was still going on even after Kattan stopped hitting Jeff & Jimmy
with the bats.
Key Player: Derek Jeter (Kattan could have won this one)
Weakest Link: Jeff Richards
Score: 4.5 (of 5)
===============================================================
Music: Oh Shakira is hot. I like that song and her ass. Her voice is just magical.
===============================================================
Sketch: Weekend Update
Players: Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Seth Meyers, Derek Jeter
What I Have To Say About It: This Weekend Update was Average. I liked the
Miss Afgahnastan, Today Show & Brittny Spears jokes. Also loved
the Pee Wee Herman joke too. Dead up, where can Pee Wee beat his
meat in peace? It's his business...heck he is not the only guy who hits the
picker when they get horney.....but handsome guys like myself and Jimmy
Fallon don't need to because we get the real deal on a regular basis. 
I loved the little Seth & Jeter bit.
Key Player: Seth Meyers
Weakest Link: Jimmy Fallon
Score: 3.5 (of 5)
===============================================================
Sketch: Osama Pep Talk
Players: Will Ferrell, Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers
What I Have To Say about It: This was pretty funny. Not much to say about it.
Key Player: Horatio Sanz
Weakest Link: Seth Meyers
Score: 3.5 (of 5)
===============================================================
Sketch: Bad Perm
Players: Ana Gasteyer, Derek Jeter, Will Ferrell, Horatio Sanz, Maya Rudolph
What I Have To Say About It: This sucked. Can't he hear them talkin' junk behind
his back.... and what's wrong with saying "hair don't"?
Key Player: Derek Jeter
Weakest Link: Ana Gasteyer
Score: 2 (of 5)
===============================================================
Bubba Sparxxx did his thing. I don't rate the music. Because it's not funny.
===============================================================
Sketch: Christmass Song They Did Last Year
Players: Horatio Sanz, Tracy Morgan, Chris Kattan, Jimmy Fallon
What I Have To Say About It: Oh they can't do Passive Aggressive Pam more than
once but they can bring this crap back. I don't like sketch fillers and this
was all this was (and an excuse to get Tracy in a sketch).
Key Player: Horatio Sanz
Weakest Link: Tracy Morgan (he looked like he was hurting in this sketch).
Score: 2 (of 5)

This was a really good episode. Derek Jeter proved me wrong. Although I think he should stick to baseball and not try acting again he did good hosting. Most athletes and musicians that host do prove me wrong because I just assume they are going to suck. 
Key Player: Derek Jeter (hey, he was in the most sketches and a few of the sketches he
had the best lines).
Weakest Link: Ana Gasteyer (she sucked a lot in this episode).
Final Score: 3.5 (of 5)
This was the weakest review I ever did....it's because I was rushing at the last minute. Next time I'm going to put more thought into it like I usually do.

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