Derek Jeter / Bubba Sparxxx, Shakira
December 1, 2001


Well, it's been two hectic weeks since the last episode of SNL. School takes up so much time!!! Luckily, I have only 3 more days (and finals) to go, before I get a much deserved break.

SHOUT OUTS
Mark Polishuk finally mentioned my name in one of his reviews! Sorry for all the bad things I may have said about you, Mark. And about Canada. Canada is a great place. Really. I love the black snow and the Eskimos and the majestic moose. In Mark Polishuk's honor, I have decided to provide a French version for our Canadian friends. Canadians, stop reading this inferior English version and go there now!

http://www.graymore.com/snl-french.html





Go on.








OK!
Now that we've gotten rid of those damn Canadians, we can get to the good stuff.

PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS
Lorne loves having sports stars host. Unfortunately, those sports stars can rarely act and are not very good comedians either. Derek Jeter seems like a nice guy, but I have a bad feeling about this. Plus we have musical guests Shakira (another latin/teen pop star) and Bubba Sparxxx (a fat white rapper with a country attitude). I don't have very high expectations for this episode.

RANDOM, UNRELATED, OUT-OF-PLACE VIDEO GAME PLUG
Last weekend I played "Silent Hill 2", for the Sony Playstation 2. If you played the original Silent Hill, it is similar, but there are a few differences. The graphics are sharper, and movement is smoother. The puzzles are better. Unlike the first one, you can't just easily run away from the monsters. And this one is about 50 times more creepy and bizarre. My friend and I (both adult men) were totally creeped out by this one. He couldn't play it for more than 15 minutes at a time. And he cried like a girl. So this is definitely not for kids or the squeemish. It is violent and horriffic. But if that's your thing, I recommend it! This game gets 8 out of 10 bloody axes.

On to the review...

=============================

COLD OPENING:
[Darrell,Will]
Oh, another political opening. How original.

Darrell's John Ashcroft is good. It's an impression from Darrell. Of course it's good.
I knew about 3 lines in that they were going to start doing redneck-style jokes.
The picture of Will as the president is creepy.

The "you might be a terrorist" jokes were somewhat funny.
"If you have a beard and live in the desert but you are not in ZZTop..."

This was OK, but I'm getting sick of the same openings every week.

B

LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S...
The same guys as every week.

MONOLOGUE:
[Derek]
Is it just me or did that puking guy look a lot like Dana Carvey??

I bet he actually did hit some people when he hit the balls into the audience.

He hit the last one right at the camera. Nice.

B+

FAUX COMMERCIAL:
[Jimmy,Dean,Seth,Chris,Jeff]
Preparation H

At least they are putting the fake ads after the monologue again.

This is a repeat from the Reese Witherspoon episode though :(

Originally I gave this a C and said it would be less amusing every time I saw it.
I was wrong, I was actually somewhat amused this time.

B-

IGLESIAS BROTHERS:
[Amy,Jimmy,Chris,Maya,Rachel,Derek]

With that big mole, Derek looks like Aaron Neville.

Man, the audience was REALLY into this one, for some reason.

Every time I hear "Let Me Be Your Hero", I smash my radio. I've gone through 5 speakers, 2 receivers, and 3 car radios now.

This wasn't that funny, really.

C+

YANKEES WIVES:
[Amy,Rachel,Maya,Ana,Derek,Some baseball players]

"Derek looks like the Rock had sex with a muppet"

Wow, exactly what I and 99% of everyone else was thinking.

I think this was written by Derek himself, because I didn't get all of the baseball in-jokes. I also had no idea who the guys were at the end. Apparently, crossdressing is funny though.

C

MASSAGE:
[Chris,Derek]

Boy, the audience was really into tonight's episode. They seemed to be laughing and hooting at everything.

Derek has also been in every sketch so far. He's probably tired.

Chris is good at jumping on people, ala Mr. Peepers.

This makes the 58th episode in a row featuring a sketch with a homo-erotic undertone.

C+

DISSING YOUR DOG:
[Will]

Another ad from Will about dogs.
You can't go wrong there.

A

TACO HOLE:
[Jimmy,Maya,Will,Dean,Derek,Horatio]

I see, the last sketch was only to give Derek time to change his outfit.

This wasn't that funny, but it did make me think that Derek Jeter really does own a Taco place in New Jersey.

B

DEALING WITH MOM AND DAD:
[Will,Chris,Ana,Amy,Derek,Jeff,Jimmy]

What does this have to do with the title?

Amy and Chris always make great kids. Chris always wears the same outfit - the blue/yellow striped shirt, the baseball glove, and the red cap.

I figured Derek's "secret move" would involve smashing them with a bat.

B-

MUSICAL GUEST:

Shakira is hot. The song was OK too.

B

WEEKEND UPDATE:
[Tina,Jimmy,Seth,Derek]

Jokes were mostly good.

I would love to see Tina in the Elvis suit.
Joshua Tree, the greatest album of all time? It's good, but I don't know about that. Plenty of reviewers here will be happy though.

Many people on the newsgroup predicted that they would mention Pee Wee tonight, and they did.

Point/Counterpoint was OK, it could have been funnier though. Like if Seth just kept telling Derek how much he sucked, as his only argument.

Many people on the newsgroup also predicted a mention of George Harrison, and they did.

A-

OSAMA RALLIES THE TROOPS:
[Horatio,Will,Jimmy,Seth]

That guy standing behind Jimmy with the big eyes was hilarious.

The idea of Osama convincing his followers that it is a good idea to follow him is a funny one.

Horatio was funny.

A

MAN PERM:
[Ana,Maya,Horatio,Derek,Will]

Once again, the audience laughs and hoots as if this is the most hilarious thing ever.

I thought it was weak and drawn-out.

Typical 12:45 fodder

C-

MUSICAL JOKE^H^H^H^HGUEST:

Bubba Sparxxx - sounds like Bill Clinton's porn name.

Good lord, somebody shoot me now.

F

RETURN OF THE HOLIDAY QUARTET:
[Horatio,Jimmy,Chris,Tracy]

OK, I like these guys, even if it was the same damn song.

Whatever instrument Horatio is playing, he is pretty good.

B

MY BIG THICK NOVEL:

No words can describe.

F

=============================================

SYNOPSIS:

An average episode, as expected. Derek did OK, but he just wasn't given the material to work with. Not enough people shared the spotlight tonight. Half the cast hardly appeared. As for the musical guests, Shakira was OK but Bubba Sparxxx sucks. I can't believe he has any fans. How did he get a record deal? All he does is rap weak rhymes. Overall, a purely average episode with some funny stuff but nothing too hilarious.

BEST SKETCH: Dissing Your Dog, Osama Rallies the Troops
WORST SKETCH: Man Perm, Jack Handey
PEOPLE WITH TIME TO TRANSLATE THIS REVIEW INTO FRENCH FOR MARK POLISHUK: Darrell, Tracy (1 sketch each)
MISTAKES: Don Pardo called Hugh Jackman "Ralph".

OVERALL GRADE: C+/B-
GUT FEELING: B-, show was brought down by Bubba Sparxxx and the usual Jack Handey crap.

NEXT WEEK:
According to Don Pardo, it's
"RALPH" Jackman and Mick Jagger

I like Hugh Jackman, but Mick Jagger I can do without.

Hasta!


Episode Review written by Jay Stuler


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