Hugh Jackman / Mick Jagger
December 8, 2001


M.S. McCawley's Subject to Change Reviews

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This is M.S. McCawley signing in for the night. What has the world come to when I'm writing SNL reviews? I blame it on... aw, screw it, I blame it on the fact that I have nothing better to do at the moment.

Theme of the Week - Doctor's Diagnosis Review

Website of the Week - <http://www.candystand.com/>www.candystand.com (play a variety of games, including mini golf with a bunch of candy all over the place. A frequent recurring nightmare...)

Line of the Week - "The good thing about it is that there's a Daytime Niquil and a Nightime Niquil. You can drink either one of 'em because your cold doesn't matter what the hell time is it." ~ Lewis Black

{Overview} - Ralph Jackman

Now, I've seen movies with Hugh "Ralph" Jackman in them. Now, I'll go out on a limb here and say that 'X-Men', though most likely spurred most X-Men Comics readers into a limb tearing rage, was an innocent popcorn movie, laden with special effects and action. What more can you expect? I honestly was looking forward to this since I've only heard Jackman talk in either a half ass Canadian accent (which, if you listen, his Australian accent overpowers in 'X-Men' sometimes), and some American accent in 'Swordfish', that literal and proverbial pile of shit (much like his new movie 'Kate and Leopold' will turn out like, I believe). So I was wondering what he sounded like when he wasn't trying to demolish his native tongue. So in short, I'm looking forward to him, not neccessarily Mick Jagger though.

{Cold Opening} When Darrell Hammond Attacks

Wow. I never realized that Darrell had so many damn political figures to portray. Those guys go down, there goes Darrell's career. That's basically the only thing they have him doing. Insert reference to Tracy Morgan's 'toking black guy' comment here. This was monotonous after about 1/2 a minute. It resorted to the oldest SNL trick : drag out one joke for 5 minutes and see what happens. They need to stop opening the show with political skits. It's getting blargh.

Live From New York It's : Darrell Hammond... one of his clone's, anyway...

Diagnosis : Murder she wrote... or shouldn't have. Grade : C+

{Monologue} - Look, Ma! No laughs!

Well, maybe some laughs. Listening to an Aussie say "Light up a blunt and get a major freak on." is always good fo some chuckles. Tracy Morgan once again plays the only character he ever really does, the Tokin' Black Guy, who walks around talking about weed and 'bling bling'. It's a wonder they haven't put him on Jarret's Room yet. Now, I enjoyed the singing in the last season finally with Christopher Walken, but come now, did you really need to do this, Hugh? It was all fun and games until he broke out the voice and started belting out old Crimmus music that needs to be taken out back and shot.

Unnamed Prepubescent Jackman Fan - "OH. MY. GOD. How could you say that?! He was so sexy and I wish I was Rachel Dratch and I wish he sang more and I... <smack!>"

Thank you, Unnamed Prepubescent Jackman Fan, your opinion, as always, is not welcome.

Diagnosis : We're losin' 'em, we're losin' 'em, call it! Grade B, dropped as soon as I realized there wasn't going to be anything more than him singing.

{Commercial} Constipation... Always A Good Fallback

Running low on material? Why not fall back on shit? Used before in such commercials (better than this one, I might add) such as 'Oops I Crapped My Pants'. I have a feeling this will be repeated... many times... <shakes head dismally> The walk in the wood made me laugh just because it reminded me of the Crap Classic 'Blair Witch Project'. Did anyone else find themselves cackling at that, wishing that Heather would just run into a tree already? Meanwhile, back at the review, they could've turned the mild hallucinagen into a better story line and make it into a favorite commercial like 'Cracklin' Oat Flakes : Now With Ecstasy!'. Sadly, they didn't.

Diagnosis : Murder. They should've, that is. Grade - C

{Jarret's Room} When Parents Hand You Cash, Do What Everyone Would... Buy An Ornamental Bong

Ah, what is becoming on of my favorite skits just because of the obsurdity. Hey, that's why they put in that crappy (no pun intended) commercial! So Hugh could put his head gear on! Makes a very convincing dork, wonder if he had to act. Meanwhile, back at the review, white people trying to act black and jokes about incessent marijuana useage is always a goldmine of a skit frame. Give Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz a skit where you can laugh, and it's a good one (even if they take it to the extreme). At least it allows him to get the giggles out... no, never mind, they're permanent. At one point, I think Horatio starts improving out of his ass just to try and make everyone crack. Maybe I'm just a reject, (crowd : you are) shut up crowd, but I think character breaks are amusing and entertaining. Who gives a crap if they break? That's mostly the reason they put the Live in SNL. See what happens when there aren't any second takes. Even Jackman broke a little at one point wi! th his head gear. That must've been uncomfortable. I'm surprised they didn't fall off like the other face asthetics usually do on the show, creating the most humorous moments in the show, most of the time. It must be fun to get 3 people to mash in a 2 ft. space. Note to some reviewer : I read a review where it said he should be shaving in front of a mirror, not a web cam. He wasn't in front of a web cam, it was a Spycam installed by Jackman's character, if you listen when they introduced him.

Unrelated note : I see the Jarret's Room viewer still has an iMac or otherwise known as a cardboard box.

Memorable Lines : Your parents got you a bong for Christmas? No, they got me some money and told me to buy some books. ~ Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz

Diagnosis : Take two and call me in the morning. Watch this twice if you're feeling down. Grade: A

{Robert Goulet} Chet's Nuts Roasting On An Open Fire

I think these skits would be funnier if I knew who the hell Robert Goulet was. No, nevermind, they're just beating the hell out of this poor, dead horse. Ah, Chris K. played an elf. Imminent?

Memorable Lines : What was that? (Baa.) No, I do not speak Spanish, what kind of a question is that? ~ Will Ferrell, Sheep

Diagnosis : Dead On Arrival. Grade : D

Commercial Break Notes : Ellen? Well that'll be dot dot dot interesting. Those blue alien guys for Pentium are getting even more annoying than there ... other... blue... guys. I'm sick of hearing there little jingle that earns some guy 900 grand whenever it's played.

{Sear's} Every Bad Photo Session

Ah, the trash that is Sear's photographers. Well, at least we know that Hugh can play a variety. Those poor children must be terrifyed. Did they sedate them before the skit? I fear the parents of them might sue. They've answered many of my questions in this skit, such as are the photographers at Sear's there on court orders? Most likely. I expected it to be a bomb, but it redeemed itself with a few abruptly funny lines.

Memorable Lines : Should I take off my sweater? NO! ~ Photographer and Old Grandma

Diagnosis : Expected to make a full recovery. That is if you can find a profession psychologist for those children. Grade : B-

{Music} Mick 'Jagga''

When I heard this was next, I went into the kitchen as customary to my ways while watching SNL. Therefore, no grade. Note worth mentioning : Mick 'Jagga'' is old. Go away. Did anyone else notice the guy during the commercial break when the woman was announcing, the guy was walking in front of the camera but flung himself away when he saw it. Humorous looking.

{Weekend Update} When There's News Breaking, They'll Be There to Fix It.

The Chris Kattan horrible reenactment wasn't as good as the Queen Mum or the Prince. In fact, 'twas rather week, in fact. Must note, nice recovery by Fey as piece of white UFO came flying past her head. Drunken Girl was actually a personification of every annoying skank who thinks they're the shit at parties. More amusing than most of their editorials on WU. Jimmy : What. The. Ass. Is your hair... alive? Is it spawning it's own lifeforms? I believe it might, one of these days. Ah, he had to go bad somewhere... the hair will be his downfall. Insert maniacal laugh here.

Memorable Lines : "I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you." ~ Drunk Girl

"Why did you have to sleep with my best friend... in front of me?" ~ Drunk Girl (again)

Diagnosis : Could drink Whitney Houston under the table. Grade : A

{Hello Dolly} What? This Again?

This was rather weak. Jackman's accent was fighting the voice he was doing. He doesn't play as effective a gay man as Billy Bob Thornton did during Thanksgiving. 'Jist Discoverin'' was the oddest, albeit funniest one. But I think this one should be buried, since they're getting dry on material for this.

Diagnosis : I'm sorry, Miss, but Hello Dollie has gone to the big dollhouse in the sky. Grade : C

{Impersonations} Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall... Who Needs Better Moves of Them All? You do.

And Jimmy Fallon goes back to the thing he was born to do. His vocal cords are so interchangable they freak me out. Although he didn't exactly have the look down, he had all the moves and voice going pretty good. The voice was hilarious, though the saddest part was that Jagger actually talks that way.

Diagnosis : Congratulations, you've just gave birth to a bouncing baby mini-Jagger. SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! Grade : B+

{Superman} If I Go Crazy, Then Can I Blame This Skit On That, Superman?

What. The. Hell. Don't do this to me... to us... again! I can actually see Jackman playing a Superman (but hey, one comics character at a time), but the skit was odd, at the very best adjective. The gay references were humurous to the point of a wheeze of a laugh, but the rest was just a thought of funny, but not any actual laugh, unlike the audience, which doesn't chuckle, it must LAUGH AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE, or in some cases, there are a few loners that are the most obnoxious audience members possible.

Diagnosis : Insert the kryponite, Doctor. Grade : C-

{Music} If You Don't Know Who It Was, Go Take Some Gingko

No notes, as I went back to the kitchen to find something... anything... to do at this point.

{Versace} When Good Skits Go Bad 3, On Tonight After When Rabbis Attack 5

I thought this was funny in some parts. Note : some parts. In other places it was horribly wrong. Like Jimmy Fallon coming out in an outfit that should only be worn at the MTV Music Awards, where they can blame it on the heroine in their system. They could've got in a lot more good lines with him, but you know, it was 12:50 at night, and I'm guessing Maya probably was having low grade attacks of narcilepsy by this point. As the show winds down, so does the funny, usually.

{An Aussie Christmas} Having A Merry, Sodomy-less Christmas

I thought this was going down in flames before suddenly Will Ferrell's aura of funny entered the picture and he was attacked by a giant marsupial. It's not every day you see that, and the end was just funny. A saving grace for the end of the show.

Memorable Lines : You killed Freckles! ~ Will Ferrell

Diagnosis : Couln't take another match with the marsupial. Grade : B+

Overall Diagnosis : We may have to operate, Ma'am. This show was a little... blah... The only pick me ups were the few funny skits they had. And there were few.

BEST SKITS OF THE NIGHT : JARRET'S ROOM, AN AUSSIE CHRISTMAS

WORST SKITS OF THE NIGHT : ROBERT GOULET, HELLO DOLLY

PLAYERS THAT COULD'VE GONE A FEW MATCHES WITH THE CHRISTMAS MARSUPIAL : TRACY MORGAN (NOW HAT'S A PLOT TWIST, THE GUY'S BEEN ON FOR HOW MANY YEARS AND HE'S ONLY IN COMMERCIALS AND WONDERS ON AS THE TOKIN' BLACK GUY), AMY POEHLER

Until next week, this is M.S. McCawley, signing out. On the flip side.


Episode Review written by M.S. McCawley


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