Josh Hartnett / Pink
January 12, 2002

Well, this is my first time critiqueing an SNL, I usually watch for pure enjoyment! Anyways, I thought I'd give it a try so here it goes...


And now, my grading ritual...
Let me put it this way, I'm tired of seeing all these "A-" and "B" and even the "89/100" style markings, so I've invented my own...
I have a few inside jokes (no need to get into them) about Goats, and the most random number (that is 47) make the perfect marking scheme when applied thus...

Each skit gets a mark out of a best possible 47 goats. Thus, a grade of 47 Goats is like 100% or A+++ or "A super-duper fudge sundae with TWO cheeries on top!" and 1 Goat is batting none. 0 Goats sucks royally.
Goats are awarded for wit, hilariousness (sure that's a word!), improvisation, funny mistakes (!) and even the occasional ass-grabbing (MANGO!)
Goats are also able to be DEDUCTED or AWARDED at (of course) MY discretion. At the end of the show, any deducted (the "Black Sheep" so to speak) come off the final score and any awarded for something outstanding (like Lorne and the dealing with the Sept. 11 issue) are added. These ar! e Goats of Merit.

And now, on to the show!!

Pre Show:
I can't believe it! I finally get a chance to see Moulin Rouge and I turn it down! I almost miss the first part of the SNL 2002 Primere, but thank God for 2 TV's at my house!

Opening Skit- Darrell

This was a really funny opening, too bad I missed half of it!! Anyways, the Hilary bit was great, the Socks the Cat was hilarious and I give it        40 goats

Monologue- Josh, Jimmy

Josh really didn't shine in this one. I think he was nervous, so I will give him a break. The New Josh and Old Josh thing was not too great, but yea Jimmy Fallon for saving it! Might I say, the picture of him struck a "Moulin Rouge" chord!!      35 Goats (I'm too kind)

Wakeup Wakefield!- Maya, Josh, Jimmy, Horatio, Rachel

Great skit! My friend Lydia and I love this one. The shoe thing Maya had going on was really too funny and the Josh voice cracking part was hilarious. Too bad he didn't keep it up for the whole act! Anyways, Jimmy is always a delight in this skit and Rachel is my personal favourite, the bow at the end does it for me. All in all, a very well-earned      43 Goats

LifeTime: Sleeping with Stepson- Ana, Josh, Darrell

Wow this was weird! Ana is so funny that it didn't matter, but still! Josh is heating up, this was pretty well done. I loved the whole "doll as a baby" thing. The best was definetly the "Call me mom" part! Still, I am forced to award it a less inspired mark for it's utter lack of coherency.       38 Goats   

Funhouse--X Presidents

This is always such a great sketch! I'm sorry, but the Bush and his wife thing is so gross I even laughed! Clinton should see himself, he'd die! The robot was a personal fav, great touch. THe highlight, Ace and Gary's special appearance. A funny story, my physics teacher wrote "Ambiguous" on my test and I took such offence to it because of Ace and Gary's title. Then I read what it means in a dictionary and I was even more offended. Anyways, a whopping      42 Goats

Shout-Out_Show- Tracy, Josh, Pink

OK, this really had a slow start, but Pink coming in as a foosie was pretty funny. Josh didn't do this well at all, maybe the cue cards weren't visible enough. Then again, it wasn't a funny role, that was Tracy. It picked up in the end with the "shout-out to dead people" but I will have to give it     36 Goats

Musical Guest- Pink

Normally I wouldn't comment, but she had some monitor problems!! Best get those solved at the break before coming on live stage Pink!! And here's something that (excuse the term) "Really Gets My Goat", the Budweiser sponsor!? Is that some sick joke! Has the world gone so bad that even something as outlandish and wonderful as SNL is stained by Corporate take over!! Now, the musical guest never is marked, but for this horrible act of unSNLish, I hereby DEDUCT 3 GOATS

Weekend Update- Jimmy, Tina, Tracy, Horatio, Chris K.

Well, I hardly had time during the commercials to get over the Pink incident, but WU is always so good I felt better. Tina is great, Jimmy great, the jokes, tonight mediocre. I think Mya Angelou (or whatever the spelling is!) was the best!! Tracy did a kickass job, and the last one would have been hilarious if he hadn't stalled. Horatio and Kattan really were funny, the news does that all the time so it was only too good of them to mimick it! A noble effort so a worthy prize      40 Goats

HBO Star Wars Cloning Skit- Darrell, Seth, Tracy, Josh and "N Sync"

This was great! Josh really shone in this one, and who knew he has a semi-singing voice!? He was actually the best here, so I congratulate him. Seth was pretty good too and the Alf thing brought back memories. Haha Harry Potter. The one and only thing that would have made this better is if the real N Sync had come on and done something. Oh well, that's my nit-pickyness talking!!        43 Goats

Airplane Impressions- Amy, Seth, Josh

Well done Josh, two in a row!! Amy and Seth were funny, the airline thing was pretty touchy but still well done. Josh's impressions may not be accurate, but they were really funny!! My personal fav, "All in the Family!" good job Josh, here's             39 Goats

Jack Handy's Best List

Oh God Jack is tedious!! The wax thing was funny, to a degree. The end was not funny. Lame but not funny lame. Go back to your memories or even short chapters, this was not so great.     34 Goats

Musical Guest- Pink

Good job, no budweiser? You're smart about that one NBC!! What's up with Pink's stomach?

Play Boy Channel- Maya, Rachel, Amy, Horation, Ana

Ok, this was awesome!! You just had to guess they'd take a last blow to the Taliban and do the "Muslim face thing". Amy's face was way too funny. Maya and Rachel were great, Ana is too good and Horatio just is the icing on the cake! A very high...       44 Goats

Score: (Average of all scores, not including Goats of Deduction or Goats of Merit)      39 Goats

Deductions/Merits:     -2 Goats (don't pull one on us like that again NBC!!)

Total Score:                                           37 Goats

And now, a few Honorable Mentions...

Best Skit: Play Boy Channel

Worst Skit: Jack Handey

Best Performance (Cast): Tracy Morgan

Closing Comments:

All in all, not the greatest SNL I've seen (by a long shot!) but still a worthy attempt. Josh was good in the end, Tracy was really funny all night long, Where did Will go? Where is he, have you seen him? Anyways, good job, I was entertained. This is the Goat Man saying "Eat your veggies and watch SNL b/c of the two, at least one's gotta be good for ya!"

Episode Review written by John Goat

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