Josh Hartnett / Pink
January 12, 2002

Time to review once more, just feeling like being a reviewer. Maybe someday I'll get paid for, no that's not very likely. Well, it's back to live with Josh Hartnett, who sadly was in the movie Pearl Harbor. It wasn't his fault for destroying the movie, so I'll cut him some slack, though I don't know how much comedic talent he has.


I wonder what Clinton thinks about SNL turning the death of his family pet into a joke. My friend also had a chocolate lab run over recently. Well, it was a nice touch putting the completely un-amused face of Hilary Clinton and a confused-looking Bush. Also pretty funny to see a not-quite-political sketch. Clever, but not great.

Quote: "Maybe Hilary would have run into the traffic after him. I'd like to think she would have."

Grade: B


Not much substance to this. The "new" Josh Hartnett? Meh. What was Jimmy thinking with his costume?? Lastly, Will Ferrel wasn't in the opening credits? He can't be gone; Bush choked on a pretzel, for God's sake!!

Grade: B-


This sketch is definitely growing on me. The characters are great, especially now that all the characters are settled into them. Hartnett did a great job as a puberty-ravaged middle-schooler, and Horatio, as always, provides the best lines as the "thinks-he's hip" teacher. The only thing missing was Sheldon's attempt to surreptitiously tell the bullies at the school to leave him alone.

Quotes: "This is how you flip a guy." Hartnett slams Rachel
"Strep throat is in the hiz-ouse!"

Grade: A


I grew up with way too many of these playing during the summer before we got rid of the cable. Revenge is now at hand!! This is a pretty good imitation of some of the awful previews I saw, particularly the awful acting and extremely long title. According to the Simpsons, the Ace Award is less valuable than Jiffy Lube.

Grade: B


This seemed to resort to gross-out humor too much. Being relatively new to SNL, it's also the first time I've seen the Ambiguously Gay Duo. I liked the way Reagan took control of everything and screwed it all up (reminded my of the Iran-Contra classic sketch from the 80s) as well as the digs at Ford and Carter.

Quotes: "Sandwich!"
"War brings people together (except for Jerry Falwell)"

Grade: B+


This was headed in a dangerously repetitive, not-so-funny direction, but got turned around somewhat with the direct interview. I also liked Tracy's face with the one call he got.

Quote: "Shout out to eatin' garbage!"

Grade: B


I don't review music.


I thought this was a particularly good one. Nice jokes, particularly the ones about Cuba and the 80s. I'd also like to see that Garner-Gellar-Alba-Jolie fight (who wouldn't?) For once, though, I liked the walk-on stuff better than the jokes themselves. Tracy Morgan as Maya Angelou was hilarious; the death imagery card for a 6-year-old. The whole Horatio-Kattan thing was kind of repetitive, but that was part of the whole joke: Weekend Update went through all that trouble for a staggered joke and bad punchline.

Quote: "No one's escaped from Cuba, except for half the New York Yankees and this five-year-old boy."

Grade: A


I'm not obsessed with Star Wars, but I do frequent <>, so I knew this sketch was on the way. All in all a great sketch, with N Sync quite obviously noticeable though Lucas said they wouldn't be, an even worse Jar Jar, the "subtle" cameos in the Jedi Council, and the song at the end.

Quotes: "I guess the pimply nerd who got a Darth Vader backpack for his 40th birthday knows more about Star Wars than me, the creator of Star Wars."
"What do you think, N Sync?"

Grade: A


I liked the gag about confiscating the shoes, but not much beyond that. The impressions weren't very entertaining. Overall, more of a filler sketch than anything.

Grade: C-


Again, a surprise turn. This seemed like it was going to seal the fate of the Jack Handey sketches (with obvious, predictable "bests") until it started throwing in completely random stuff related to wax. I like most of the Big Thick Novels, though I know everyone else hates them, so I hope this swings a few opinions.

Quote: "Best Suey: Tie. Chop Suey, and Chop Suey with Wax."

Grade: A-


No musical reviews. I was brushing my teeth.


I think this joke's probably been out there for awhile, plus I'd rather 9-11 isn't related to the Playboy Channel. Still, seeing the joke fleshed out is pretty good, and Horatio makes a good dirty Arab.

Grade: B

My final thoughts are that this was a decent episode. I'm also looking forward to Jack Black next week and hoping he performs something from Tenacious D in the monologue. Now time to tabulate the final grade mathematically:

Final Grade: B+

Episode Review written by Dagger

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