John Goodman / Ja Rule
November 3, 2001

How's it hangin'? Dr. T.J.F. Here with another
"Rip-roarin'"(whatever that means) Review. Sorry I
couldn't show up for the last one, I'm not saying that
it was bad, but my TV reception has been a real bitch
to me up until last night. When the "living color"
that NBC is famous for...

(Click Here:

Came back into my home, my local NBC station is coming
from the Empire State Building now, so now I don't
have to BS about how good/bad my picture is.

Anywho, The Yankees are getting Slaughtered, but I
care not. For I know that on Sunday, November 4th,
"THHHHHHEEEEEEE YANKEES (will) WIN!" And if they lose,
I will personally destroy every Yankee Item I have,
and convert to the Mets. You gotta be a fan of
something, and it certainly isn't going to be a bunch
of losers. (provided they lose first)

Last night's show was a literal history making event,
on account of the fact that John Goodman has
officially Tied Steve Martin with the most hosting
spots ever. But does it mean that he's much better at
doing the job?

New meaning to the phrase, "Maybe not today, Maybe not
tommorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life".
OK, so Hammond tries his hand at John Ashcroft... Damn
does he sound whiny or what? Can't these people tell
us where the next strike will be and when? This way,
we can kick the Taliban right in their "Taliban
Banana". Anyway, This was pretty weak. Not really much
in the laughs area here. Just one of those "Same joke
over and over" sort of moments

Diagnosis: C-

Well, You try coming up with a Monolouge after 13
shows! As long as you have a good topic. (Yankees
being a good example.) I really have no Idea what to
say about this one, except maybe GO TO HELL D'BACKS!!!
Kattan couldn't play an Asian guy if his career
depended on it. This just wansn't good.

Diagnosis: F
Herbal Shampoo:

It's about time someone did this one! I dunno, I think
men go "Oh yes" during an "Organic Experience". Either
that, or it's one hell of an Aphrodisiac. It was good
to see people going nuts over Shampoo. Soon they'll
come out with a shampoo for Bisexuals, and you won't
know what sound they'll be making.

Diagnosis: B+
Mt. Arab People:

Ugh, why did they have to waste Danny on this sketch?
You know what the sad Irony is about this is? There is
an actual, honest to go place in New York called Mt.
Arab! This was just plain Gratuitous, it has been done
to deat so many times in so many sketches, it's not
even remotely funny... Well, I shouldn't say it was
entirely unfunny. I liked the AL GIZZara part, but
that was about it.

Dagnosis: D+
Medical Ad:

The Wilford Brimly thing was (As the Weakest link Lady
says), PATH-ET-IC!. I'm just going to move on.

Diagnosis: F +-x!@#$%^&*
Girl W/O Gaydar:

Keep the crap flowing! This may very well be the
single worst thing that I have ever seen. And I have
seen many a piece of crap in my day. How empty headed
is this person? I could come up with a better sketch
if I wrote in the snow. (If you know what I mean)

Diagnosis: F -----------
Pregnancy test:

Thank god there is a saving grace around her
This is like their 3rd Commercial tonight, and it's
better than the first two. It looks exactly like the
real commercials, with the subtle differences of
course. I couldn't tell if the dude was Seth or Jeff,
and did I mention how incredibly hot Amy is? Anyway,
t'was good.

Diagnosis: A

Hammond sound so much like Dan Rather, that it freaks
me out, right down to the "Ratherisms". Someone should
tell this guy however, that elections ended a good
ling time ago, and that's what dragged it. As much as
I like the thought of the cast of Friends having lice,
it just didn't sit well. But it was still good.

Diagnosis: B+
Ja Rule:
Keep it movin' along. No shoving!

This can help out the show when it's doing good or
In this case, it does a good job of it. Right up to
the Blues Brothers, it just didn't look right to see
them wearing something other than black. But
seriously, this is the best update so far this season.
(When is it ever bad?)

Diagnosis: A+
America Undercover:

What? was the camera crew of "Cops" too busy? Is it
just me, or has John Goodman played a cop on every
show he's been on? Think about it, Chief Mark Wilson
in the "Wayne's world" sketches. That Highway patrol
sketch in '94, now this! Children, can you say
"Typecasted"? Uh-huh, I thought you could. It was one
of those "Love to hate" sort of moments. You find it
funny, but it disturbs you just a little bit. Mainly
because of the Hillbilly-type folks.

Diagnosis: B-
Bad Conceptual Theatre:

YES! This was one of the best things to see in the
70s, A couple flaws with this one though. Danny seemed
to has lost his "snooty" voice, but the goodness of it
was still there. (sorry for the vaugeness on some of
these, but other people are hovering around me begging
me to have the computer. So I gotta be Blunt.)

Diagnosis: A+
Bookie Newton:

This is better than Girl W/O Gaydar By Comparison
Once again, I couldn't tell if it was Seth or Jeff
doing what looks like a combination of Rusty from MAD
TV and Harry Potter. But this could grow on you, in

Prescription: A bad begining, a better ending. Thanks
in part to the Semi-retired Dan Akcroyd. He's like one
of those things that winds up in a box marked "In case
of emergency, break glass."

Gwyeneth Paltrow Next week. Gotta Go, The Doctor is out!

Episode Review written by Dr. Theodore J. Fugelheimerson

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