Hooray! My campaign was a success! Mark Polishuk has mentioned me in his review! Well, sort of. Hmph, I hope if they ever say his name on SNL, they say it, "Park Molishuk".
Conan: THE MOLECULAR MAN!!!!!
Anyhow, the last couple weeks have sucked. I bombed a midterm. I got a nail in my tire. I was sick with the flu for 6 days. Today I washed the contents of my wallet in the clothes washer.
But... I am now typing this on my BRAND NEW computer! So I guess I one good thing happened.
But alas, they forgot to ship the speakers with it, so I had to call them and say what the hell?.. so they are sending them out, but right now I have no sound.
Nick Burns: YOU'RE WELCOME!!!
Hm, John Goodman. I find him to be a very milquetoast actor. It seems like he just gets picked for any role that needs a lovable fat guy. That is not to imply that he is a bad actor, though. He just seems generic, especially since he has hosted the show so many times. I'm sure he will do good tonight, but it's almost expected that he will do good, so it doesn't make it as interesting. Know what I mean? The musical guest - Ja Rule. All I can say about that is it will give me a chance to make iced tea, go to the bathroom, or play SimCity while I wait for the next sketch.
Nick Burns (overdue)
Sully & Zazoo (overdue)
I was informed last week that Adam McKay no longer writes for the show :( BUt I'm still holding out hope that they still show an Adam McKay film. Some people didn't like them - but I thought they were great! Anything with Steve Buscemi is automatically great. So it would be nice if we see one of those... we probably won't though. :(
On to the review
America Strikes Back
I'm not that familiar with John Ashcroft but it sounds like Darrell did a good job, as far as I know. He almost sounded a little bit like Mr. Haney from Green Acres. This was a good parody of all the press conferences that they are giving lately, which don't really tell us much of anything. Ana did a good Helen Thomas. Who is Anthony Fauci? I have no idea, so I can't speak for Kattan's impression. The one other person that they could have showed here is Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. That guy is on every damn time I turn on CNN.
LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S...
13 times huh. Well, nothing much happened with this monologue, much like the last episode with Drew Barrymore. But it was very short, which once again is not a bad thing.
[Ana, Amy, Will, Rachel, Jeff, Dean, Horatio]
Herbal Essences for Men
This was sort of humorous I guess. Not much to it really. Didn't they do a Herbal Essences sketch before? Anyhow this didn't suck but I'm sure I will hate it by the 5th time they show it.
HUDSON VALLEY COMMUNITY CIRCUIT
[Rachel, Will, Horatio, Ana, Dean, Jimmy, Darrell, Aykroyd]
OK it's nice to see Dan Aykroyd again, but... dude... invest in a comb. And possibly a treadmill.
Dennis Miller: C'mon, this guy is more out of shape than a dodecahedron in a Ron Popeil invention! heh-HEH!!
This was funny.. but sort of weird. Apparently it was about a bunch of people whose unfortunately named businesses failed.
Al Gezzera Dodge/Plymouth/Mitsubishi
Al Kyda's Trading Network
Talley Ban's candy & Cakes
Old Sammy Bin Ladels
I didn't understand why they had Tony and Ron, the hash dealers.
Horatio said his name was spelled G-I-Z-Z-era but the text at the beginning spelled it Gezzera.
This sketch was lacking something...
This was a good Wilford Brimley by John Goodman.
What's with naming businesses "Liberty".. Liberty Medical, Liberty Savings, etc.
GIRL WITH NO GAYDAR
[Rachel, Ana, Seth, Tracy, Chris, Jimmy, Goodman, Will]
First of all, I just want to say that Tracy Morgan plays the most disturbing gay man ever.
This was funny. Luckily it wasn't beat into the ground though. I wish I had a different kind of radar - one that detected which women were single, and which ones have boyfriends/husbands. That would save me a lot of time.
I'm surprised they used the name of a real product (EPT).
This is what the people buying pregnancy tests are really like. I hate those stupid commercials that don't depict people the way they really are. Especially the one for Genital Wart medicine. They should have saved this one for a fake-commercial-after-monologue segment.
Whoever wrote Darrell's speech is awesome.
Darrell is awesome.
Can he impersonate ANYONE?
This was dead-on.
Dan Rather has anthrax in his breakfast nook.
"Get your digitalus"... what is a digitalus?
Why do these guys always have hot chicks, good bands, and good co-singers?
This wasn't THAT bad, really... it would have probably been really good with just the girl and the band.
Ja Rule apparently has some sort of autograph on his left pectoral. Looking closely, I believe it says "Thanks - Rob Lowe".
I could be wrong though.
[Jimmy, Tina, Seth, Goodman, Aykroyd]
Wow, Jimmy's hair is totally normal-looking. His other hair must be on vacation this week.
All the jokes were funny, but I want to go on a rant here.
OK, Al Sharpton is now meeting with foreign dignitaries on the behalf of the US. On behalf of who?? This guy doesn't represent me. I didn't vote for him. Who did? He wasn't appointed by anyone either. Does this guy even have a job?? At least Jesse Jackson is a good speaker and negotiator. Al Sharpton is only good at eating pudding and putting grease in his hair. Why do we tolerate these self-appointed "leaders" who are just wackos with big mouths?? Why is he famous? If you want to follow the guy, fine. But he doesn't speak for me.
Seth's editorial was good. He was a very good speaker; unlike many other people who make it to the news desk, Seth was not nervous at all and didn't flub any lines. Great delivery.
I got to hear Tina say "Huge Dick". Cross #57 off my life's wish list.
OK Aykroyd is still hanging around.
Mighty Mack & Elwood Blues - first I wondered what the hell was up with their outfits. Then they did the mail song and we saw that they were postmen. Good song.
[Dean, Goodman, Chris, Amy]
I think I've only seen this actual show one time... I gather it is something like "Cops".
Any sketch with a Shazbot! T-shirt has got to be good.
Chris and Amy were good white trash. This sketch is so obviously a Upright Citizen's Brigade type of thing. Amy must have written it.
Points deducted for me witnessing a little too much of Chris Kattan
MUSICAL GUEST PART II
I didnt understand a damn word this guy said, except I think he mentioned "DR WHO"
This song sounds like something out of the 70's or early 80's. Maybe Debarge? (apologies to anyone under 20 reading this)
The music was good, the lyrics sounded like they sucked.
BAD CONCEPTUAL THEATER
[Aykroyd, Goodman, Chris, Seth, Amy, Jeff, Maya]
Well apparently Dan Aykroyd has no place else to go.
They weren't kidding, this was bad.
Luckily it didnt go on too long.
[Horatio, Goodman, Seth, Amy]
Horatio can do a good NY accent.
This was funny in a silly way.
I have realized that Amy looks more like a 11 year old kid than a 30 year old woman.
This could have been developed even more and been an earlier sketch.
"masturbate" - break it down. "master" - to control something. "bait" - a tiny worm. HAHA!
Goodman signed his closing photo shot "WISE UP". What the hell does that mean?? Is he calling me stupid?
They didn't cut them off. Not where I was watching, anyway.
Good episode! At least as good as the Seann Scott episode. Everybody got equal airtime - it seems like this is key. The worst episode was where Will was in almost every damn sketch. I like Will, but he can't do it all. I decided I like all the new people. They have received lots more time than most featured players, probably because they will be taking over next season when many of the cast leave. Anyways, a quality episode all in all.
The best part - no Jack Handey.
This is the third episode this season where Tracy appears ONE time or less!
What is the deal there? Aykroyd was in more sketches. So were all the featured players.
BEST SKETCH: Weekend Update, Pregnancy Test, Kid Detective
WORST SKETCH: Bad Conceptual Theater
PEOPLE WITH TIME TO TP MARK POLISHUK'S HOUSE: Tracy
MISTAKES: None of any note
OVERALL GRADE: B (B+ not counting the musical guest)
Gwyneth Paltrow/Ryan Adams
Oooooo I hope he sings "Summer of '69"!!
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