Kirsten Dunst / Eminem
May 11, 2002


Alright everyone, i'm Jessica and i'm 14, and this is my first review, although i've been watching SNL for a while now. my main goal in life is to be an entertainment tonight host and/or marry brad pitt. i don't CARE if he's already married. so far this season, i loved britney spears, reese witherspoon, gwenyth paltrow, hugh jackman and derek jeter, simply because they did a taco hole sketch which totally cracked me up. my favourite sketches are wakeup wakefield, gemini's twin (the one with j.lo last season was GRRRREAT) and mango. "why does everyone think he is homo-gay!". Now i am not a huge fan of Kirsten Dunst but i do think she's a good actress, and she'll probably do well tonight. on with my review:

~OPENING~: Dubya, Condeleeza Rice, John Ashcroft (I think)
I'm not that familiar with american politics as i live in canada and don't care much for any politics, but will ferrel is hilarious as Bush. Hahahahahaa it was so funny how he was screwing up countries and their leaders! that made me laugh.
QUOTES:"They will NOT make me look stupid, they will NOT make me look stupid..."
"I also liked his wife Queen Amidala. Uh sir, that was Natalie Portman in Star Wars. Then who have i been calling queen amidala for a year? that would be queen noor of jordan."
GRADE: B

 

~MONOLOGUE~: Kirsten Dunst, Spiderman (i'm assuming she's here to promote said movie)
Pretty cool how Kirsten said LFNY when she was 6 with Dana Carvey. Also funny when spiderman dropped from the ceiling. cool stuff. not an amazing monologue though, there has been better. i liked cameron diaz's, with will ferrel. "i worked with j.lo. had to charge her double!"
QUOTES: " I was stung by Beeman. I've never even heard of Beeman. And you never will cause i kicked his ass!"
"Hey! maybe we could hang out after the show! yeah, don't even think about it."
GRADE: B

 

~HOME PREGNANCY TEST~ Ana Gasteyer
What made this funny was the fact that she's at least 8 months pregnant looking and wondering if she's pregnant. could you imagine if someone actually did that? LOL
GRADE: B+

 

~LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY~
I love when they make fun of Carson. He IS a tool. But he's also a good MTV host, i'll give him that. I think this sketch was making fun of Vanessa Carlton, and Alicia Keys as well. Kirsten was playing bangin' new artist Alexis Yarlsburg... interesting name for a popstar...
QUOTES:"Hi i'm carson daly and i'm a massive tool."
"You went out with dave coulier from full house? no that was alanis! I went out with bob saget!"
"No, my other job. Where do you work? well a couple of nights a week i mix paint at a home depot." LOL
GRADE: A

 

~TV FUNHOUSE~
I don't always get these, but this one was funny, especially with the Bambi matrix thing.
QUOTES:"Pocahotass"
"Bambi if i can lose weight, you can catch terrorists." -from jarred the subway commercial guy

 

~ALZHEIMERS COMMERCIAL~
A family is worried about a grandma with alzheimers. this wasn't funny, i have family members that died from this. not appreciated.
GRADE: FFFFFFF

 

~NEXT WEEK~
Well-known actress/kleptomaniac winona ryder and moby. moby is cool. winona is not. i do not like winona ryder. she's annoying and i've never seen a quality movie with her in it.

 

~SOAP OPERA~
Maya and chris were pretending to be soap actors, and they keep having to redo scenes because extras, amy, will and kirsten, are screwing them up. sometimes funny, sometimes not. though it made me laugh when kirsten, will and amy stood in front of the camera to get their screen time and the director freaked out on them. hahaha.
GRADE: C

 

~JARRET'S ROOM~
i love these sketches! ah, weed-addicted college kids. what's not to love? speaking of love, i like that fat joe/ashanti song "what's luv". anyway, gobi is frickin insane. horatio and jimmy make each other laugh too much though, lol. funny how they had a janet and her friend maeve busting jimmy and gobi's web cam style. that was some good stuff.
QUOTES:"after 4 years of hard work i'll finally be a sophomore!"
"um, a skinny test tube? but it's loong!"
"hey man i'm sorry about your 8 grandmas. they was cool ladies."
"so long, gobi. you mean, so BONG!"
GRADE: B+

 

~MUSIC- EMINEM~
I am not an eminem fan, nor will i ever be. i don't like his music although this song isn't bad. the video for it is whack. i respect eminem for saying what he thinks, and thats as far as it goes.
GRADE: B

 

~WEEKEND UPDATE~
My favourite part of every show! tina and jimmy crack me up every time!Nikki and paris hilton showing up were great, they are slut extraordinaires! they are the girls who prove money really can't buy style. stop trying to be the fashion icons you so desperatly want to be ladies. also chris kattan's Terrible Re-enactment was hilarious- "i've been scandalized!" lol! Chris Parnell's ode to Kirsten dunst was also pretty hilarious.
QUOTES:"Feel free to take that trip to ebola-free Gabon."
"We met 6 days ago! we have not been having sex or fighting gun battles!"
GRADE:B+

~COMMERCIAL~
Sorry i had to include this: saw a trailer for the j.lo movie 'enough'. it looks soo good! what can i say, i love jennifer lopez.

 

~COURT TV-KOURNIKOVA VS. PENTHOUSE~
Kirsten's anna was perfect, russian accent and all! anna kournikova sucks at tennis. the go-go dance breaks were pretty hilarious, especially with the tricycle riding midget! lol.will's bob gouccione is hilarious, he played it to perfection!
QUOTES:" i'll show some of the boobies, but not the tip of the booby!"
"I'll throw in a stolen Wimbledon trophy!"
GRADE: B

 

~WAKEUP WAKEFIELD!
Oh i looooove these sketches! maya plays megan to a T! all the snotty junior high girls were perfect. a cameo by tina fey too! score! amy's janet jackson lip-synching was great too. i like that song. does anyone else think janet's abs look like men abs? its weird lookin...
QUOTES:"Who needs ecstacy when you have Randy Goldman?"
"I'd like to thank Jenna's Grandma for her fine camera work."
GRADE: A

 

~EMINEM DANCE AUDITIONS~
I like these demarco brothers. when they did a britney spears dance audition they were pretty hilarious. wow i always though eminem would think he was too cool to do an SNL skit. i guess i was wrong. kirsten as their cousin was a nice touch too.
QUOTES:"He is fixin to pop a cap in our fannies!"
"You need to arrest yourselves for being fruitcakes."
"Quite frankly i don't care where YOU melt!"
GRADE: A-

 

~BIG THICK NOVEL~
sometimes these are funny, sometimes not. this one was ok. nothing special. he's funny, if a bit weird.

 

OVERALL: B

Kirsten did a pretty good job for her first time, though next time they should do a cheerleader skit (read-from "bring it on") and/or a gemini's twin. maya, chris k, will and kirsten were the players of the night.
BEST SKETCH: wake up wakefield
WORST SKETCH: alzheimers family
it is now almost 2 am, i am exhausted, so i am going to bed. i will start reviewing regularly too i think. oh wait! i saw saw spiderman last night, it was amazing! its gonna win oscars, for sure. good night and have a pleasant tomorrow!


Episode Review written by Jessica S.


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