My VCR is still broken *sobsobheaveheave* so I STILL can't tape the episodes. I am also getting a restraining order against my fat ass cousin. She is going DOWN.
Let's discuss my current problem. It seems as though my television is screwed up.(Whoda thunk that spilling Mountain Dew on it would cause it to spark and sputter? Someone should put a warning on those things! I'm writing Consumer Report's pronto.) Whether it was the Dew's fault or my TV just sucks, I am now without a TV AND a VCR in my room. So I am being forced to watch my mother's TV (or as I like to call it, the BC box). It's older than I am, for God's sakes. My Mom purchased it in Germany back in the stone age when my dad was stationed there. The remote is the size of Martha Stewart's ego and just about as annoying. I have to hold it in my lap if I want to change a channel to keep it steady. And the television itself is unbelievable. I actually have to keep the power button duct taped down or the damned thing will go off. Don't ask me why, but it might have something to do with one of my annoying childhood friends thinking it'd be funny to repeatedly push ! the power button until it sparked. She CLAIMED that Barbie wanted to see fireworks. I guess the Dreamhouse just isn't enough for Barbie, is it? Next thing ya know, we have to hold the power button down for it to work. Anyway, the TV only gets 7 out of 98 possible channels: NBC (there is a God), ABC, CBS, FOX, UPN, Food Network, and some holy roller local channel. The color and quality of the picture sucks. AND I have to wait 20 min. for the damned thing to warm up before the picture comes on. So I have to turn on the TV almost a half hour in advance to see my TV show. If I run in from work just a little late, I'm shit outta luck.
And all this just so I can bring you people a review.
I like Drew Barrymore because she's a good actress and all that stuff. Ever since E.T., I loved her. On a sinister note, Macy Gray scares the HELL outta me. I'm probably not going to watch her performance. I was kinda worried SNL might not come on after the whole Amthrax/Rockafeller Center thing. But then I said to myself "Ashley, the damn show has been on for close to 27 years. Not even a fatal disease could stop them!" So now I'm sitting back, conserving my last piece of lead, and waiting for the local news to go off and SNL TO COME ON!!!!
I thought this was kinda funny, but I thought Bush was hunting Laden down.....oh well. Go ahead on, Cheny! You show Afghanistan who they're messing with!
FAV LINE: "The Beard's Goin!"-Dick Cheny
What was up with her hair? Tom's having a bad influence on her. I'm glad Drew was brave. Otherwise, the show wouldn't have come on and I wouldn've warmed up the TV for no reason. Tom's mask ruled, buy why was Drew acting all weird? Like she was high or something. This monologue seemed really short....and sucky...
Crossing over with John Edwards:
That was just about how the show really is. Will randomly guessing letters was a trip.
FAV LINES: "I'm seeing a mustache; are you calling me a liar?"-Will
"This is incredible"- Mya Rudolph
This was the best skit of the night. Ok let me get it out of my system. JIMMY HAD NO SHIRT ON! AND I COULDN'T TAPE IT!!! AND WILL GRABBED HIS ASS!!!! AND I COULDN'T TAPE IT!!! AND JIMMY HAD NO SHIRT ON!!!! grrrrr....oh my Lord I have no life. Let's get on with it. This skit was primarily funny because the cast members kept breaking character. I don't know why flubs crack me up, but they do. I little bit of this was ad libbed and the cast trying to keep a straight face. This was probably, in my opinion (which matters SO much *ahem*) the best Luvah's skit ever. Ohhhhhh I wish I couldh've taped this!
FAV LINES: "....And keep them in this Igloo Cooler"- Rachel Dratch
This isn't a line, but Will grabbing Jimmy's ass was priceless.
Willy Wonka: Back and Dumber Than Ever:
This was ok. Mya's Nelly Furtado impression was the best part of this skit.
FAV LINES: "Wait this is a children's film, right?"- Seth Myers
Did the Emeril premiere actually ever come on? Whoaaaa I missed that. Probably because I was doing something more useful with my time, such as working on ruining my TV. This was funny, but it seemed redundant after a while (as are many of the Funhouse series). I was so happy when Emeril died at the end. Bam!
First Liberty Savings Bank:
FAV LINE: "By the way, I'M GAY! SORRY DAD!"- Will Ferrell
~runs for dear life~
I'm still pissed off I couldn't tape the Luvah's skit.....
Ahhhhhhhhhhh the weekly news update. Never lets me down. Since I can't TAPE IT, I can't write down full jokes so this part of my review won't have 'FAV LINES' unless I can speed write (which I doubt). Wow that was a long sentence. My English teacher would have a friggin fit. I was really excited to see Colin Quinn. I miss him! He wasn't even on the show for that long...Jimmy and Tina are getting better and better at this thing. Well actually, Tin's always been great, but Jimmy has improved a lot. Neil Diamond hugging Gay Hitler was the best part, and seeing Jimmy and Tina crack up in the background made it even funnier.
FAV LINE:(I said I wasn't going to have one, but I speed wrote)
"At 100%, stop saying chance."-Colin Quinn
"Don't do it, gay Hitler" -Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond
Action Talk Show:
This wasn't even funny. What the hell was this? Were the writers on speed when this was written? ( Lesson of the day: Crack makes you more creative, while speed makes you retarded)
I hate the fact that they've taken stuff about the World Trade Towers off everything, so the beginning of this skit was good. Then it just started to confoose me. Drew TOTALLY screwed this one up. She actually made Darrell Hammond break character! History has been made (I think)! It seems like the cast members are cracking up in every skit tonight. Makes me laugh. And yes, I know that was an incomplete sentence.
GRADE: C (Cause Drew laughing made ME laugh)
Two Lezbo Musicians
This was strange, but funny. Mya's awesome. Does EVERY female guest make out with Will or is it just me? Let Horatio in on the lovin, that's what I say!!
FAV LINE: "Cause you can't stop the feminine river..." -part of the song
Her music gives me the creeps. But anyway, I want Drew's shirt! It had "The Romones" on it! 20 20 24 HOURS TO GO! I WANNA BE SEDATED!! I think Macey's hair is alive......I was waiting for it to crawl down onto her forehead and eat her.
I love Jack Handy. I remember growing up to the *original* Deep Thoughts, plus David Spade and Chris Farley. I cried when Farley died. That was such a blow to the comedy world.
OVERALL EPISODE GRADE: C
This episode wasn't so hot. I expected better. :(
Weeeell folks, ya won't be hearing from me for the next week cause it's that time again! YES! RE-RUN TIME! I hate re-run time. My VCR will be fixed by Saturday but there's no episode to tape! Damn my luck and timing. Oh well. Until next time, I was gonna write a decent review......but then I got high.
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