Renee Zellweger / Eve
April 14, 2001


Hey all. For the second week in a row I taped SNL and this time I got it all on tape, so no half-assed report. Let me add that the term half-assed was used in a skit going back to '98 on the David Spade episode with Will Ferrel as this dad and I liked that term, so it might be one of those catch-phrase lines that go through every few shows, in the past some have made it, some have not.
Here's little tidbit for Blink 182 fans, on the new cd there will be 15 new songs, so far I've heard 2 live songs, the others are being messed up cause some fans are mixing blink songs with a group called Drowning Fish. Read what they have say about this: http://www.drowningfish.com/
In a way I'm happy they cleared up what was going on, but mad that some of the Blink songs aren't even on napster yet. Get them on soon, so JGM can start.
This year SNL has had about 5 young actresses as hosts and tonight added to that list is Renee Zellwegger, now out of the 6 shows, maybe 2 were good. The funny thing is, one of those shows was the second show of the year, and that's usually a bad show, so you can tell how bad the hosts have been. Kate Hudson did a great job as host, so did Mena Suveri, Katie Holmes is on the border, Charlize Theron was not good and Julia Stiles show sucked, so this show will be either be average or crap. Most of the people on the message board are saying this will be a bad show. Well they get a musical guest that's new to the business, Eve, rumor was that Run Dmc was coming back, but nope. They get her instead.
New Links to check out:
To check out the new blink cover, go here: http://i10.yimg.com/10/db6e3567/g/5/2d0e0b9e.jpg
To see a trip report from the Conan O'Brien, go here: http://geocities.com/SNLAnnie/snlexperience01.html
One thing that I recently read that the people at Survivor are suing my fave show, Bootcamp. You know what I say about, "Screw Survivor." It pisses me off that now if a show gets some little thing to work with that if another show uses it, they sue them. The best reality show out there that doesn't even use kicking out is, The Real World, but in my books, Bootcamp is a little better than those horny teens on Real World.

SNL talk: Well 4 shows left. You know this season started out excellent. The show has dropped tremendously since, the Bush-Gore crap ended. Since then it's been young, sort of schwingable hosts out there coming out promoting there shows or movies. This just-in rumor on the streets is that Renee and Kattan are dating, by streets I mean the message board, and by dating I mean Kattan is putting the ee into Renee. Oh yeah anybody who says some bad stuff about Jimmy Fallon is really stupid. He is keeping the show still young again. Also Tina is too, with that saucy blazer. Jk. No, she and Jimmy are doing fine in the Update desk. I read a message by some kid saying that compared to Jimmy, Colin is a genius. Well guess what, "It took Colin a good year and to get into it, and by the 3rd show, the current guys are becoming the new highlight of the show, by a lot of people.
And now some SNL thoughts by, I guess me:
Renee and Eve, what an odd show. Renee comes out with a new movie that has been in the news for 3 days, and Eve has one good song, that I think sucks. So you could tell I was looking forward to this show.
Audience: Really, you were looking forward to it.
(This week, I forgot to add is being written live, in a studio audience. JK)
Uh, it's called Sarcasm, look into it morons.
Oh yeah, onto the show.

Opening: The Culps at H and R Block on Tax Day
Dratch got out of there really fast. That's how they should do it, get out of there so we can see 2 old foggies singing. It was just an average Culps skit. In my opinion they should do openings instead of regular skits after the mono. They aren't really that appreciated after 11:50 or so. This is also there 4th time on the show this season. What was that thing about Cheney?
Grade: B-


Who said Live from NY: Ana and Will
Mono: Renee or as I call her Mrs. Kattan or as the real reviewers call her Scratchy Voice
Man, her voice was really scratchy, also what was with her dress. Either have it on your shoulders or not. I thought it was messed up being tied to her arms. For the record, so far this year have been 2 and now 3 solo monologues. (Carvey, Lopez) Can the girl be that lazy to have a chair to sit on, its frickin on Live tv. She looks like Meredith Monroe at times.
Grade: B (did u see any bragging in it, with working with Cruise.)


Comm: Subway and fat people thing
Repeat from 3 shows ago, bit fast for new shows, ayy Lorne
Grade: Originally gave it a B, I think, I could have checked it out if Sean puts that show up on the episode review place, but he's in a show at school.
Now most of the whole site is probably saying this right now.
Everyone: "Well isn't that special."


Interlude: by me
I know a lot of side comments on the review, well I guess I want to make these reviews lengthier. It just seems right. Well next skit is.


Skit: Jerry Maguire 2
Add Fallon another great impression, cause he really looked like Tom Cruise here. Renee was okay, but the big star here was Horatio as the kid from the movie. I bet the people who thought this show would suck are crapping in there pants right now, cause so far nothings been bad, except the Subway thing. You know what would have been cool, if Ben Stiller reprised his great impression of Tom Cruise (he did it in the Celebrity Jeopardy skit 2 or 3 years ago.) The part with the, I guess I should define it as, in words that the dirty viewer would get, when his cock was up. That part was really funny. This got co-skit of the night, and also has 2 lines that were really good. Who was Kattan supposed to be playing here??
Line Alert 1 of 2: "Did you know the human body has 7 holes, unless you're a lady, then you have 8."-Horatio Sanz as the kid from Jerry Maguire or Jonathon.
Grade: A-


Skit: Hardball
Dirty Viewer: What kind of a skit has a title named Hardball.
Greg: It's the name of a tv show actually, you moron, go back to getting ready for 4:20 you dicklips.
Back to Hardball
Great skit returns for its 3rd appearance this year. Does Hammond's character really talk like that, cause if he does I got to check out that show.
In the words of Wayne and Garth: I'll watch it, when monkeys fly out of my butt. Thanks guys for that one.
Kattan's character was funny, but Renee's character was just boring, Parnell's character was just ok, he was in the middle of Renee and Kattan.
Grade: B+


Interlude: by me
Just to add here, I was watching later skits and noticed that my rumor of Kattan and Renee dating might be true. Watch some later stuff. You will definitely see what I mean.


Skit: Cheryl and Terry's wedding
This was just ok, but it took a good 3 mins., to get into the wedding stuff. I liked Dratch's character, Will's was pretty freaky and at then end you could tell that Renee would be on a bus drunk. You could totally tell. Horatio's little tidbit was pretty cool and seeing KISS at a wedding was pretty funny.
Grade: B-


Toon: Post-Survivor
Took a while to get into it, but this was pretty good. Who was the black guy? Anybody surprised SNL hasn't parodied Survivor yet this season. I thought they were going to on the premiere this year, but I was wrong.
Grade: C+


Update: Fey 'n Fallon
Okay jokes. The highlights were Bob Dylan, 8 Ball, and a lot of Bush jokes.
Jacob Silj commentary: this can be good, but they do the same thing everytime he's on update. I know that for a fact cause I said the same thing on the Mena Suveri show in January.
Fallon's review- It was ok, but he did the same thing with Meet the Parents in October, then Robert DeNiro showed up, so maybe one of the stars of the movie he reviewed will show up.
Other jokes: Governor one was ok, Mariah was hot and the joke was good too. The Myers joke was just dumb. And finally- the last joke about signs was good.
Grade: B


Music: Eve featuring Gwen Stefani
Bad song, you could tell I can't wait for Destiny's Child for next week.
Grade: D


Audience: Now was that line about Destiny's Child sarcastic or not.
Greg: You know what, get the hell out of here. It's not hard to tell if I'm joking or not. (Coughcoughmornonscoughcough)


Skit: Kattan, in another skit, Renee must have gotten him into this one
The theme stuff was funny. Hearing the Price of Right theme was funny and seeing Renee's reactions was funny. Note- to gossipers out there (by gossipers I mean Message Board) As they were about to hook up, there was a good 3 seconds before he vomited, I bet they did kiss. That would have been funny to hear the SNL theme in there.
Grade: C


Skit: Regular Doc. Skit. Hey there's Molly
Will was good, but the 'Super' star here was Molly. She changed her hair a bit. I wonder if she's going to be like Lovitz or Jan Hooks when they leave the show and guest star every other week. Look at an episode guide for the early 90's for that. The phone call thing went way too long. I think he said Molly Shannon too much if you ask me.
Grade: C- (Will and Molly saved this)
Mistakes: Jimmy almost lost it, right before she yelled, "I think my water broke. For once: Molly didn't laugh in a skit.


Music: Eve
Better than the first song. Who was the black dancer at the end??
Grade: D+


Skit: Dead Laughter with silence (that basically sums it up)
Wait one more thing to say, Not Good last skit, maybe 1 funny part.
Grade: D-


Good-bye's: No thanking Molly, what's up with that. Also after every show Tracy does a peace sign. And Darrel always is in the back, with a suit on.


Co- skits of the night: Hardball and Jerry Maguire 2
Worst skit of the night: The last skit

Mistakes: Asking Eve to come on the show

Overall Grade of show: B-/ C+

Line of the night Part 2 of 2: "My mom says erections are as natural as a rainstorm, I'm going through a rainy season."- Horatio Sanz after getting "excited" on Renee.

Just some shout outs from some people:
Kristen from Long Island: Kristen just wants to say hi to all her camp nubar friends, she misses everyone and hopes to see you all soon!
Glenn from my hometown in Jersey: KT, love ya, snl rocks, greg rules with his reviews and goodnight NJ and NY
1 quick question from big fan Muhammad:
Any word on when that episode will
air, Charlize Theron and Paul Simon?
My guess as a person who knows how they re-air shows is that, it will either air in August or right after the season ends.
And finally.
Audience: Sweet he's almost done
Greg: Hey it was your choice to come today, so why don't I open the door and ask you to leave, or I can get my gun and start a brawl.
Audience: You can't use a gun in a brawl
Greg: That's it. I got arms of steel here, and I got backups. Can't you see it, my left hand.
What a day with the audience, glad they aren't coming back.
And finally on the last April review: a plane recently crashed in the mid east, which one again proves my theory, Planes do officially suck.
That's all for now. See you in May with 3 new shows in a row. First up: Pierce Brosnan and Destiny's Child. Thanks for reading. Later.


Episode Review written by Greg Haledjian


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