Art Vandelay is sitting at his kitchen table with his magic pineapple.
Art: Oh magic pineapple, please tell me the future.
Pineapple: Ask and I shall tell.
Art: Will tonight's episode be good or bad?
Pineapple: It will be the best episode of the season.
Art: Ok, will Christopher Walken do his Continental character
or sing during
Art: Hmmm, well Fidel Castro is in the news; will Walken do
Pineapple: Heck no.
Art: Will Mark's 'I WANT TO HEAR THE NAME 'MARK POLISHUK' ON
LIVE, SO IF YOU ARE ASSOCIATED WITH NBC, MAKE IT HAPPEN!' campaign come true
tonight by having his name said on the show?
Pineapple: Outlook unclear ask again later.
Art: Well what will be on tonight's episode?
Pineapple: The show will open with Walken, Ferrell, and Fallon
as The Blue
Man Group. Walken will spend his monologue sleeping on the stage. Then there
will be a Nick Burns sketch, a Rap Street sketch, and a sketch were Walken
tries to eat hamsters. Also, the Corn Chip Nail Tips commercial will be
Art: I don't know. That may not be that good.
Pineapple: They do Update nude.
Art: Wow! Well Pineapple, how should I start my episode review?
Pineapple: Oh, I think you know.
Art: You're right.
LIVE FROM MY HOUSE, IT'S MY SNL EPISODE REVIEW!
Don Pardo: Art Vandelay's Episode Review.
Starring: Art Vandelay
Featuring: Christopher Walken/Weezer
Written by: Art Vandelay
Ladies and Gentlemen: Art Vandelay
Hey everyone. I thought tonight for my "monologue"
here I would talk about
how Christopher Walken dances in all his movies. But then I realized, I've
never seen any of his movies. So instead I'll talk about this season of
What I loved: Molly Shannon leaving, Cheri Oteri leaving, the
sketches, Conan O'Brien hosting, Nomar Garciapara making a cameo in a Boston
Teens sketch, the new Weekend Update set-up, Tina Fey in general,
Christopher Walken hosting(hopefully), Boston Teens(they only did this
twice. Shame on them.), U2 playing Beautiful Day, no boy bands appeared this
season, The Weakest Link sketch, The new opening montage.
What was okay: SNL Prime-Time Live(It was a good idea, but
couldn't do anything in 20 minutes), Rap Street, Jerry Minor(He's one to
watch), John Goodman not hosting, Jimmy Fallon on Update(He was alright, but
he'd probably be better doing commentaries)
What I didn't like: The heavily repeating of commercials, Sally
Pretty Living, The Deandra Wells sketch, when Eve was the musical guest and
she plugged her cd, Gemini's Twin, the lack of game show parodies(there
hasn't been a fictitious game show for a while. By this I mean like Old
French Whore; not Weakest Link or Jeopardy), Tom Green hosting, a lot of the
sketches Molly Shannon did, The XFL.
And now the best and worst of the season. These were very hard to determine.
Best Host of the season: It's very close, but I'll say Dana
Kilmer and Walken so very close.)
Worst Host of the season: Tom Green
Best Musical Guest: U2(Aerosmith coming in 2nd)
Worst Musical Guest: Eve
Best Update Segment: Jimmy's Christmas songs, Tina's Hugh Heffner's
Worst Update Segment: Molly Shannon as Jeannie Darcy
Best Commercial: Sub Shack
Worst Commercial: Corn Chip Nail Tip(If you are not familiar
commercial, watch ANY episode from this season.
Best Cartoon: X-Presidents(Mena Suvari)
Worst Cartoon: Find the Black People at the Knicks Game.
Best Sketches: A message from Al Gore(Calista Flockhart), Boston
Hudson), Napster Testimonies.
Worst Sketches: Jeannie Darcy at nursing home, Deandra Wells, Sally O'Mally
Best Monologue: Conan O'Brien(Sean Hayes 2nd place)
Worst Monologue: Jennifer Lopez
Best Episode Over-All: Christoper Walken(just barely better
Worst Episode Over-All: Tom Green
[COLD OEPNING] A Message from Rudy Guliani
Wow, Darrell did a very good impression. I think it has improved
Britney Spears episode. A good short sketch. If you look closely, you can
see Darrell getting out of his chair right before the theme song starts.
[MONOLOGUE] Christopher Walken
When they did the sideways shot of Walken you could see Jimmy
What was he doing? He had his hand on his face of course. This was a great
monologue. Jimmy as himself was funny. He didn't seem as nervous as he
usually is. Tina in the blue dress was a good addition. Did you notice when
Walken came out he had glasses in his hand and then he put them in his
[COMMERCIAL] Corn Chip Nail Tips
Not againha, I fool you! But instead of them filming a new
just didn't do one.
Christopher Kattan? Hee hee. Mango is back again. After appearing
last season, Mango only appeared twice this season. This was a crazy sketch.
I bet Walken had a hand in writing in. The Mango song was good and I loved
the part where Walken played Han Solo; as we all know Walken auditioned for
the role of Walken back in 1977. Jimmy Fallon was funny, but again, he does
another celebrity impression that he looks nothing like.
I didn't think we'd see this sketch again this season. Tonight's
the same basic outline as the rest of them have. The insults towards Chris
Kattan's character weren't as good as last time. The part with Christine
Whitman at the end was funny.
[SKETCH] The Continental
We all knew this would show up tonight. It didn't feel as good
as the other
ones, but still good. I wish we could have gotten a closer look at those
Hummel figures. The part with the periscope was funny.
[WEEKEND UPDATE] Jimmy Fallon and Mrs. Vandelay
Ahh, the last Update of the season. Well look who it is, it's
Funny commentary. Hee hee, Tina Fey's a lesbian, hee heeah what? Um,
anyway, imagine Molly Shannon in a porn.
Molly Shannon: I suck and I blow and I suck. I'm filthy!
Interesting Fact: This is the 2nd time Jimmy has mentioned
Fugelheimerson. The 1st time was on the Prime-time Extra when Jimmy was
talking about Napster.
And finally, what everyone will be talking about all summer
Tina Fey has
sex with Wynona Rider! Tina Fey is hot!
I've never heard of Weezer until I found out they were the
Song was alright.
Walken again had those glasses in his hand. This was alright,
the worst sketch of the night. These characters aren't the greatest. Sex
centered characters don't hold out that well.
[CARTOON] Pebbles and Bam Bam
Hee hee. It would have been cool if they had shown what cast
be like had Lorne not created SNL. Eddie Murphy would be washing dishes
[SKETCH] The Centaur
Hahaha, this was way out there. Walken had those glasses again.
I love how
Walken just added the little things like "could you use that glue to repair
a bird feeder?"
[SKETCH] What crawled up his butt?
A lot of sketched have taken place in a hospital this season.
Or with a
doctor. That's odd. This sketch was alright; based on one joke. Walken was
again crazily funny.
[MUSIC] Weezin' away
Was that Will Ferrell?
[MISCELLANIOUS] The Memorial Day Song
This was a great way to end the season. It was so stupid it
funny. Kattan sticking his head in the camera was good too. All good.
Horatio was wearing glasses.
And so ends the season. When you think about it, this show
being funny or poking fun at the world; it was about people wearing glasses.
Before I go, let's ask the pineapple who will host the season
September. Pineapple, who will host the season premiere?
Pineapple: Matthew Lawrence with Musical Guest Sinead O'Conner.
Somehow I think that isn't right. Oh well. Good night America!
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