Charlize Theron / Paul Simon
November 4, 2000


Hey all. The last episode of SNL, I missed because I was at my friend
Justin's house for the World Series Game 1. When I saw the Yankees tie
the Mets in the 8th or 9th I knew that night I would not see Dana Carvey
and the Wallflowers. When I got home at 1 I was pissed cause I missed
the show, but happy that the Yankees won and more happy that almost a
week later the Yankees beat the Mets 4-1. Go Yankees.

After my missing SNl last week, I had to see the Halloween episode this
week, even though I own the Special that I bought which is very good.
Well going on to my story its about 7:45, I am on my comp., talking to
my friend Eric and all of a sudden.... blackout. By the way nobody was
home at my house so I had to make my way upstairs. Then I ran across the
street to my neighbors house. I then got my dog who looked like a ghost
she was so white. Ofcourse I missed SNL that night, but I woke up at
around 12:55 and I saw like maybe 5 seconds of the dog show skit. I
didn't know they had a Halloween skit for them.

Here we go another SNL, actually its only my second review. The host
Charlize Theron. I never saw her in anything besides Mighty Joe Young
and it doesn't look like I will be seeing that new movie she is in with
Will Smith. The only good golf movies are Happy Gilmore, and Caddyshack
so I'm not going to watch some drunk guy playing golf for 2 hours, no
thanks Charlize. And for music we have Paul Simon. I heard he has done
music for SNL back in the 70's, but I have never heard any of his songs.
Good luck on your rating Mr. Simon. And onto the review ladies and
gentlemen.

Opening-Future America
George W. Bush opens the show. You know it comes down to Will or Darrell
for the next 4 years, but then you remember that Phil Hartman left in
the middle of Clinton's term and left Mike Mckean to do that impression
the next year. Sort of funny with the fire stoff.
Grade: B

Monologue: Charlize Theron
Whoa she is tied with Kate Hudson for nice schwingable outfit this
season. Hey look, one skit a show, bad recurring characters, Tracy
Morgan is in the monologue. Funny at times.
Grade: B+

Skit: Total Request Live
Jimmy has got a great impression of Carson Daly. Crappy Video, but the
girls were sort of hot. Hey Maya, nice body. You thought she was getting
a good remark, right. I mean co me on she left the show after 1 episode
last year, remember Britney Spears episode.

Skit: Future America 2
You know if Darrel and Gore stood next to each other you couldn't tell
the difference between the 2 of them. It was sort of good to see
Clinton, but this might sound weird, but he wasn't much funny without a
suit and tie. That sounds weird, I know. Back 5 years when he opened the
episode he was in pajamas caling people, he wasn't much funny. Yes,
after reading that I have to get a life. Don't worry I am posting an ad
in the paper right now. The Bush opening was funnier.
Grade: C+

Skit: Blair Witch 2 parody
Hey the Goth Talkers join Charlizes' character in the woods. Chris was
funny and so was Horatio. Horatio is so underrated in the show. Was
there a point at all to the sketch, I mean come on.
Grade: A-

Cartoon: Mr. T is back
Robert Smigel is back with funny stoff. The only good toons last year
were Mr. T and Ambiguosly Gay Duo. This was really good. It was short,
but very good. Score Mr. Smigel. Oh it comes down to Roxbury guys lines.
Grade: A+

Skit: Marylin Monroe and Joe Dimaggio
Not really funny. Kattan was feeling good and so was Horatio. You know
this skit reminds me of the Amorous Italians from '92 and '93. Nice
panties. Jimmy as I said before great impressionist.
Grade: C+

Music: Paul Simon
Well I was watching the show I looked at the time and its not 12:02 and
they are having the music now. I have no idea how to rate music that I
don't know or have heard of so the grade might not make sence to the
Paul Simon fans out there.
Grade: B-, told ya

Interlude: by me
So, so show so far. You know this was the first time this season that
the opening did not go past 11:36 and this week they got in the mono and
opening done by 11:37. Thats why music was early. Hey if you want to see
a good movie, go see Meet the Parents. Very funny. Lets hope Update will
sparken this 12:00 to 12:30 portion of the show.

Weekend Update
Fey was sort of good. Fallon was funny. The thing I wonder is how do the
people see what the pctures are because there are no screens, they had
one since, if I can remember from reruns on Comedy Central about 85 with
Dennis Miller, they don't show any more episodes before that year except
at like 2 or 3, in the morning. The thing I hate on update is when
either Jimmy or Tina introduce one of them. Get one of the cast members
to do an editorial. You know why do they give one of the writers a part
to talk in the show. Kevin Brennan, remember him, wasn't that good
either. This Fink guy should not come back for another editorial.
Continue writing, thats the key in life.
Line Alert: "Oh we're doing the show live this week" Jimmy Fallon
Grade: B

Sketch: Bedtime Stories on Max with Mr. Peepers
Was it me or did Molly look a lot like Tina. Chris Kattan was good here.
Hey thats some nice cleavage Charlize, god bless 12:30 programming. Blue
is a nice color. Mr. Peepers is back for a new season.
Grade: A

Sketch: Future America
You know this could be the last time SNL can have the nominees for
presidents in the same show without one being called Mr. President. So
thats why they keep on putting on this stoff. Jimmy was okay and that
devil crap sucked.
Grade: C+, I must have been put of it when I gave it a C+

Sketch: New Dancers
These recurring characters remind me of the Bloater brothers. These guys
were in the Britney Spears episode. Kattan was good and Parnell was the
same.
Grade: B-

Interlude: by me
Getting better sort of. The inly thing missing from this perfect season
is Cheri Oteri, it wasn't her time to leave the show. It was for Tim,
and I would say the same about Colin unless he did something besides
Update.

Sketch: Robert Goulet
The only good part of this sketch was when Will made the words of the
songs diffent. You know I think in a old episode of the Simpsons the
real Goulet sang in Barts treehouse, I'm not 100% sure there.
Grade: C

Okay uh at this time I fell asleep, but if I can think back b4 I fell
asleep I remember Charlize starting it for Paul so I ddin't see his
performance, but if it was like last time the song probabaly lasted till
the end of the show so thats not bad. Sorry.

Okay, great episode and good start on Sweeps month SNL. Next week we
have the very thin Calista Flockhart and music Ricky Martin. Also if
they don't have a Celeb Jeopardy its the latest start for that sketch
since Martin Short episode back in old '96. Lets hope a blackout or a
game doesn't come in the middle of the show. You know what would have
been weird if that 1st world series game was on NBC then SNL would have
started at 1:30. That would have been great for me. That kind of thing
happened last year with the Norm Macdonald episode and it started 10
minutes late.

Well I got to jet, so peace out all, Till next week folks.


Episode Review written by Doug Haledjian


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