Heigh-ho, everyone! It's two o'clock in the morning on a school night, which means it must be time for another edition of

RENEE EPSTEIN'S EXCEEDINGLY AND UNNECESSARILY LONG SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE EPISODE REVIEWS!!!!!!!

in which she whines and complains when things piss her off, babbles about unrelated things that sketches remind her of, reminds people of how much Lorne Michaels amuses her, and gushes annoyingly every time Jimmy Fallon appears on the screen.

*sigh*

I'm tired and I have to finish my laundry so let's get down to business

Oh, wait, one more thing: Tomorrow, March 19, 2001, is my birthday!!! Everyone cheer and be happy for Renee!!! Everyone sing "Happy Birthday" to Renee!!! Everyone send Renee presents!!!

Yeah, I know, that was really sad.

On to the review

[Pre-Show Thoughts]
Well, Julia Stiles is practically the only actress who appears in teeny-bopper-esque films that I actually somewhat respect, soyeah. Something tells me that she should be pretty good. She was funny in the movie State & Main (which was NOT a teeny-bopper movie and was absolutely hilarious except for the fact that Rebecca Pigeon really really irritated mebut that's another story).

And who doesn't love Aerosmith, huh? I mean, come on. They're great. They're wonderful. They've been around forever and I still haven't gotten sick of them. That's gotta say something

Enough said, moving on.

[OPENING] Martha Stewart Living on St. Patrick's Day
Oh, by the way everyone, Happy St. Patrick's Day! (Even though I'm not a bit Irish in the least)
For once, a non-presidential opening. Yay! I love it when they mock Dubya and all, but it's nice to have a change every once in a while.
Ana's Martha is always excellent.
The lapel pin that Martha created had me doubled over in laughter. "You must be Irish 'cause my penis is Dublin." Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
This was a really funny sketch. The only problem was they didn't really have a good transition to the "Live from New York" linebut that's only a minor flaw in a very good opening.
Soyay!!!

Grade: A-

[MONOLOGUE] Julia Stiles
This was amusing. It's always funny to see Tracy making a buffoon of himself.
I'll bet he was glad they didn't do another joke about him selling drugs.
His dancing was remarkable badwhich had me laughing hysterically.
Ya gotta love Tracy.
I just wish for once they would just let the host talk for a few minutes without any annoying interruptions from the cast, though

Grade: B+

[COMMERCIAL] Homocil
If you want to know what I thought of this the first time around, check out my review of the Sean Hayes/Shaggy episode. Yep.

Grade: A

[SKETCH] Wake Up Wakefield!
Cute concept.
Rachel has to stop playing guys. I'm starting to feel sorry for her. Could they really not have one of the many male cast members play her role?
Although I have to say she didn't do a bad job.
Maya's voice got annoying.
I give Julia credit for wearing fake braces.
Horatio was amusing.
And I can identify with Maya's behavior around Randy Goldman/Jimmynot just because I have behaved that same way in middle school around someone I had a crush onbut because (come one, say it along with me) I LOVE JIMMY!!!
All right.

Grade: A-

[SKETCH] Rudeness as the Post Office (for lack of a better title)
This was funnier than the last time they used these characters (way back when during the Mena Suvari show in January).
Yeah Julia! Nice!
If only I had the ability to do that to people like Maya and Jerry's characters (evil annoying freshman at school)gah.
Not bad. A bit too long, though. And it had kind of an abrupt ending.

Grade: B+

[MUSICAL PERFORMANCE] Aerosmith
All right, let me just say that I LOVE THIS SONG!!! "Jaded." Ya gotta love it.
Nice.

(I don't grade the musical performances.)

[WEEKEND UPDATE] with Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey
JIMMY!!!
I LOVE HIM!!!
(Oh, come on, don't tell me you WEREN'T expecting me to do that.)
What was up with Update tonight? All those camera shots/graphics editing mistakes? For shame
Anyhoo, I loved the joke about how we Americans don't want to keep revoting the election and want to move forwardto the year 2004. YEAH!!! I couldn't agree more.
Darrell did a fabulous Arnold Schwarokay, I can't spell his farking last name, but you know who I'm talking about.
And speaking as a Californian, I just gotta say that I really hope he doesn't run for governorship. Good lord. As if he can do anything to fix the bloody power crisis. Although he'd be a lot more interesting than Gray Davis
One more question about Arnold: How the HELL can he be a Republican and be married to a Kennedy?
Anyhoowhat was DAVID COPPERFIELD doing there?! Didn't expect to see him on SNL. Weird-ass. Although that was a nifty trick he did with the cue cards
MAGIC!!!
Okay, time to move on

Grade: ehhhlet's say A

[SKETCH] Suel Forrester Directs A Movie
Oh lordy.
Well, at least it wasn't a Mango or Mr. Peepers sketch.
Jimmy's voice was cute*sigh*
I really have to stop that
Anyhoo, this was actually fairly amusing. Suel/Kattan was funnier than I remembered. They haven't used this character in a while. Sonot bad. Except once again it was a bit too long.

Grade: B+

[SKETCH] The Cleaning Women (once again, for lack of a better title)
This was amusing, too.
Wow, Maya's getting a lot of air time this week, isn't she?
I give Rachel and Julia much credit for not losing their accents halfway through the sketch.
Abrupt ending, though.

Grade: B

[AN SNL DIGITAL SHORT] by Adam McKay "The Doberman"
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have said this twice already this year: Don't EVER EVER EVER let Adam McKay near a camera again!!! NEVER!!! He's not funny! His films are NEVER FUNNY!!! They're just weird and pathetically sad. This needs to stop. Can the writers really not come up with enough material to fill an entire show? GOD.
And I really have to voice my major disapproval of this film. Door-to-door Doberman attacks? WHAT THE HELL???!!! Okay, I live in San Francisco. Have the SNL people NOT heard about that vicious dog attack a few weeks ago over here that KILLED a woman? The dog ripped her throat out for no apparent reason, all right? Cops who surveyed the bloody scene needed trauma counseling afterwards. It was horrible and damn scary. My guess is that the owners are going to be charged with manslaughter. IT'S NOT FUNNY, and I just can't believe that Lorne and the others in charge of the show would allow something like this that makes light of dog attacks to actually air. It's very disappointing, and I thoroughly disapprove of it. Not funny. Not cool. Not good.
Dammit, Adam McKay, just stick to writing sketches with the rest of the writers. Stop going off and doing your own weird shit films. They're just bad.

Grade: F

[SKETCH] Amateur Night
Hee hee heeAna and Julia and Chris Parnell's Wisconsin accents were amusingI give them all credit for being able to pull that off.
Nice dress, Maya*snort*
Ummmmcute dancing by Jerry and Julia
This was still quite a weird-ass and fairly pointless sketch, though

Grade: B

[SKETCH] Willy Sluggs' Eye Poppers
Jerry's getting a lot of air time this week, too.
This was fairly amusing.
I guess they were taking inspiration from David Copperfield, huh?
I enjoyed the false testimonials from the customers.
And every time Jerry/Willy Sluggs stepped on one of Julia's lines I died laughing.
Cute stuff.
But once again, a bit too long.

Grade: B

[MUSICAL PERFORMANCE] Aerosmith
This song was pretty cool, too. Catchy. It got stuck in my head.
Yeah Lenny! That was nifty, having him do a sax solo.
Yay!

[SKETCH] Der Lëcheln Berrherst (I don't think I spelled any of that correctly)
Oh my god.
This was just bizarre.
I feel sorry for those poor extras.
This was just catering to stereotypes.
It's sketches like this that make me long for Mike Myers and his Dieter character

Grade: B-

[SKETCH/SONG] Happy St. Patrick's Day from Guinness and Van Morrison
JIMMY!!!
YAY!!!
I LOVE HIM!!!
(I'm sorry, I can't help it.)
He did a good accentmuch better than I ever could.
Highly entertaining.
This song got stuck in my headand thankfully cleared that horribly strange Der Lëcheln Berrherst sketch from my brain
YAY JIMMY!!!

Grade: A

[GOODNIGHTS]
Just one question: Who was running on stage late for the goodnights?
Anyhoo.

And that's about it. Not a bad show at all. It was cool getting to see more of Jimmy and Maya, considering they're the newest additions to the cast. My only request is (let's see if you can guess)more Jimmy. I need more Jimmy Fallon, dammit!!!

That's enough of that. I gotta go finish my laundry and go to bed.

Once again, everyone wish me a happy birthday!

And until April 7 (when the host will be Alec Baldwin---yay! I love him!---with musical guest Coldplay)...au revoir, mes chous.

THAT'S IT!!! THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! GOOD NIGHT!!!

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