Julia Stiles / Aerosmith
March 17, 2001


Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all those Irishes out there. Hey here's an
Irish joke to start the review:

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish Funeral?
One less Drunk.

Thank you to Glenn for that joke.

Tonight I taped SNL and when I left my house that night I was hoping to come
back and see the show still taping when I got back. Well it was still
taping, but my screen got frizzy like an Irish drunk at a wedding, so I
missed the opening to the second sketch.

Okay 2 more things to just add and I'll start the review:

1. If a girl is reading this now, I guarantee that you have altoids with
you. My friends at the school told me that most girls do, so I was just
wondering.

2.Oh yeah if you write a question to my email address about SNL or anything
that you need to know, I will post the question on the review and your SN
too. So think of a question and send it.

Oh yeah I started driving this week and man, I have to stop driving on those
curbs, they just pop out of nowhere. This sucks that I have to wear glasses
to drive, but what are you gonna do. So if you ever get in the car with me,
then something must be wrong with you. I was picking up a friend this
weekend and before she got in I saw her pray, what's up with that. Then I
pulled out of the driveway, and floored it to 40 mph down her block like I
was being chased by the cops. Actually her dad is a cop so, I shouldn't do
that again. One day me and my friend Paul G. are going to be on Cops so, if
you do watch it, please tape it for me.

And now Greg's Thoughts

Oh man this show I have been looking forward to for aboutthis long. Every
year there is only 1 good March show and last week Conan had an awesome
show, but tonight Julia Stiles and Aerosmith didn't look that good. Actually
Aerosmith does usually do a good show and their new CD came out and I heard
some tracks and it didn't sound too bad, so lets hope this doesn't turn into
a Lopez show where there is only 1 good show. I mention Lopez cause I can
guarantee all the guys are saying, I wouldn't mind having her babies. I
wrote that cause that line about the babies has been a line that I have
never heard of, though my 2 friends claim it was in a movie, but it wasn't,
or I hadn't seen it, I don't remember, give me a break it's the weekend.
Okay and onto the review.

Hey no bad first parts this week. Awesome. Last time I wrote 5 pages of non
SNL stuff and only 2 pages of SNL review, but this week its only 1 pages
of non stuff and I'm assuming less than 3 pages SNL stuff, so in the words
of some Irish guy watching SNL and wanting to hear what the show was about,
"Start the dam review, or I'll (Then he passes out)
Thank you drunk Irish man, and onto the review.

Note- As I said the first 25 minutes I missed, but I muted it cause it was
blurry and tried doing something, but it didn't work, however I know what
the skit was and there was a comm. repeat that I can give a full review on.

Opening: Martha Stewart Living (Oh I didn't know she was living, what kind
of a title is that)
Missed it, but in the past wasn't the best, so I don't think I missed much.
On yeah Head of the soon to be award winning Tina Fey site person Ashley
said that this and Update were the best of the night. So I guess it was
good.
Grade: N/A

Monologue: Julia Stiles
Episode 500, wow big landmark. I guess she's here to promote her movie, The
Last Dance flick, isn't that already out of movies. Her last movie 10 things
I hate about you was good, but her parts weren't funny so theirs probably
not going to be a lot of LOL in the show. Tracy's back for another mono and
as I was trying to understand what he was saying under the closed caption,
it wasn't too bad, but man, they were really promoting her movie.
Grade: N/A

Comm: Homocil (repeat)
I thought when this first aired that it was going to be not funny, but I was
wrong, and in May I think might get Comm. of the year. Funniest part was
with the bball kid and Will.
Grade: A

Skit: Wake up Wakefield
Messed up first sketch of the night, cause well first of all Rachel's
dressed up as a guy, Maya's voice got really annoying, and was it me or did
Julia look like she had braces. Hmmm, a show about a someone liking somebody
else, anyone remember a skit like that a few years ago with Sandler and some
girl, whatever. In the closing words let me say Maya is really a talker in
most skits, and in a related story, she has a very, very annoying voice.
Grade: C+

Skit: Post Office led by Maya (hmmm, I guess she brought that lady with the
annoying voice over to this skit) (Hey writers, who made this up, its called
Writing School, look into it)
If this isn't a sort of take off of the Simmer Down Now lady, then one of
the writers must have gone home drunk and must have carried over to now, and
thought this would be a great idea for a skit: Lady who gives people hard
time at work. Anyway, Julia's part was the best and when she cursed Maya
off, her and Jerry's faces were pretty funny, but overall this didn't make
it past a C, oh yeah it was a C.

Music: Aerosmith- "Jaded"
Steven Tyler and his band are back for there 4th time, I remember in an old
skit they didn't do drugs, but why was Tyler humping the guitarists,
literally, not joking, check it out if you have it taped. Good song. (should
have said Good song first, cause I think a lot of Aerosmith fans are either
on another review or just left the room.)
Grade: A (finally an A tonight)

Update: Fey and Fallon
What was up with Jimmy's screens and for the first joke of his, the screen
didn't even come up to the punch line of the joke, speaking of punch line
and being guilty: O.J. and Puffy actually gave a smirk to the line. Thanks
guys looking forward to your next scandal. Darrel looked so much like
Arnold, its f***ing looking alike (see just like TV, Sean would get mad if I
said that word, but any other word is fine by me), but Darrel's commentary
wasn't as good as his appearance. The Beret and St. Patrick's Day joke was
good. The Highlight of the 10 minutes was David Copperfield and his magic
trick. It was a cool trick.
Grade: A (again an A for the 2 anchor people)

Skit: Suel Forrester (Jibbersih speaking guy)
This recurring character of Kattan's has only been played 3-4 times, last
was during Joan Allen's show going back to Nov. '98. This was okay, but so
far, has been one of the funniest of the night. Horatio was good and when
they couldn't understand what Suel was saying was pretty good too.
Grade: B+

Skit: Pepe and Bushka
Okay skit, finally Will is in the show tonight. What were they trying to do
here with Rachel and Julia as the cleaning ladies. Hey writer's here's a pen
make something a little more funny. Well there was one line that even the
crowd got into, and made a line alert (more on that in 3 lines) You know
Anna should have been fired for leaving in the middle of a deadline, I mean
if I did that in school I would have been suspended, and in a small related
story I am writing this now at 12 in the middle of a school day.
Line Alert: "One time he said that I was getting a raise and then he pointed
to his pants."- Anna (telling of her bad boss)
Grade: C

Short Movie by Adam Mckay:
The Doberman
5 words for Mckay:
Adam, what are you on?
This was really messed up and maybe its time Adam do something new for the
show. What was the point of Will being chased by a Doberman for 2 mins.
Grade: D

Skit: ShowTime at the Apollo (Some acts to laugh at, not laugh with, laugh
at)
Maya is now in her 3rd or 4th skit tonight, Good for her and by good for her
I mean maybe you should be like Tracy from '96 to '98 and only do the good
nights. Does Jerry want us to think he's gay or something, cause just
qualified for the new award, Actor in a skit that we might think is gay.
That award is also known at the Matt D. award. Mayas impression of Toni
Braxton wasn't bad, but she couldn't sing for her life and Tracy's
impression wasn't bad either, he sort of looked like the guy who hosts that
show. Julia couldn't dance for her life, Jerry danced better than her. Just
like SNL, doing 12:45 programming that is played at 1:00 (deserves to be at
2:00 if you ask me)
Grade: C-

Interlude: by me (A rap up of the night basically)
Well I guess the writers went on Spring Break a little to early if you ask
me. Horatio Sanz has a new movie called TomCats out really soon with some
hot girls in it that'll definitely break some peoples lent promises. If you
don't get that, just email me and I'll explain. Lastly is this the Maya and
Jerry show cause they have been in about 5 each tonight, and they're good
actors on the show don't think I don't like them, but for me to actually say
that they are great at the show would be not right, cause they haven't
established themselves in a character that's good. Well Jerry is close to
getting one, but Maya is far away from it, sorry, this is just my opinion
though.

Skit: Willy Slugg's Eye Poppers
Funny skit, and if you look at the time its just past 1:00 and SNL is still
doing an okay job. The Duo of Maya and Jerry again. His magic wasn't that
bad, unless you like crap. Seeing Will and Chris just be in there was funny.
If you noticed Jerry used the cue cards a lot. Funny part was when Jerry
said the other people's lines. That's it.
Grade: B (wait is that a grade higher than a C for tonight, what am I on)

Music: Aerosmith
Okay song, not better than the first song, Jaded, but I really didn't get
into the harmonica part. Cool seeing Lenny in the song and really cool
seeing the guitarist playing the guitar behind his back.
Grade: B-

Skit: 3 words: Crap in SAP
Crowd liked it a lot, but if you check every other reviewer's review
including Mark's, they will all they this sucked and blowed at the same
time. Is that possible, more on that later.
Line Alert: Once Again, our bad."
Grade: F

Misc. Happy St. Patrick's Day from Guiness and Van Morisson
What has Jimmy come to. This wasn't bad, the beer part was okay.
Grade: N/A

Good-byes: I think those kids were Copperfields. Where was most of the cast
and why does NBC cut the credits short to put a comm. of the First Years up,
its on Monday Nights, its not going to beat Boston Public and the other
show.
So I guess Spring Break started early for the writers, Jimmy is now drunk
from all that beer (yeah right, he could have downed more), Maya and Jerry
are the stars of the show, and I'm about to quit from this review, unless
they get a better show on the F**king air. It's annoying when you see all
this talent go to waste. Where was Darrel, he's always good as some
political guy. See I'm pissed for a few reasons: 1. SNL has now gotten to
the point where you want to watch something else. 2. Maya Rudolph was in to
many skits. 3. Some people in the world can't let you just be friends with
people, though they don't like them. 4. Nobody can keep their mouth shut,
and no I don't mean the whores out there.

Okay in 3 weeks a new show with Alec Baldwin who is hosting for the 10th
time and Coldplay who is new to many people. Next week is the show with Kate
Hudson and Radiohead. Get that Radiohead c.d. It's really good.

Overall Grade: C- (worst rating this year)

Have a good spring break. That's the review.


Episode Review written by Greg Haledjian


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