Charlie Sheen / Nelly Furtado
January 13, 2001

This is my first ever review. I discovered this site the same way Columbus "discovered" America way back in 1492. In other words, One month ago, I did a Yahoo! search of SNL sites, pointed, clicked, thought I was falling of the edge of the Earth, and landed here. So, without further ado, plausibly live from Marshall, Michigan, it's Steve Bishop's first ever SNL episode review.

INTRO: Let's start with some exposition, My name is Steve Bishop, I'm a sophomore at a community college in Battle Creek, Michigan. I work at a TV station that is not an NBC affiliate. And I'm an avid SNL watcher for the past five years. But until last year, I only watched on a casual basis. In fact, the only episode I had a major interest in last season was the Anniversary special and the episode with The Rock (I was pleasantly surprised with his comedic timing). But, that all changed this year and there's one reason for it, Tina Fey. She has that perfect mix of smart, funny, attractive to her. If she were ten years younger, lived in Battle Creek, and if I saw her on a casual basis, I would one of two things. I would either A. Hit on her incessantly, ask her out, purpose marriage, or B. bashfully say Hi, and then sprint away like a deer. In all likelihood, it would be B. But all joking aside, and all puns aside, I would consider myself a Tina Fey-natic. Anyway, that's all the personal info you need on me now. But before I review this episode, I will briefly explain my grading system. It's the same way I would grade movies if I were a movie critic, 100 is American Beauty, 1 is Bio-Dome, and if you need any explanation as to which was the greatest movie ever, and which one sucked balls, you shouldn't watch SNL, it's probably on past your bedtime.

OVERVIEW: Charlie Sheen is the host. I haven't watched Spin City since he replaced Michael J. Fox, and in all honesty, a few months ago I thought the show would be cancelled. I'll give Chaz his due, it's as successful as ever. And one final note on Charlie, I do a pretty good imitation of him, but unfortunately, we don't have RealAudio, Oh well. Nelly Furtado is the musical guest. I've heard her one song a few times on the radio. And considering that I'm not into that lite-rock crap, it's not bad. It kind of reminds me of Sade. I do have one problem though, she named her CD Whoa, Nelly. Hey Nelly, Keith Jackson called, he wants his catchphrase back.

"OPEN:"President" Dick Cheney:Darrell's Cheney was just as good here as it was during the Presidential special. Best line was, "at this time I will ask all of the people who make less than $264,000 to turn the channel, go on, there's probably some NASCAR on." Also, Darrell proved to all that Cheney doesn't need a heart because he really doesn't use it. I love it when Ferrell does Bush and gives that serious look into the camera, and says crap like "compassionate conservatism." All in all, as long as it's funny, I don't mind if every SNL starts with a Bush sketch, which seems to be where we are headed SCORE: 88

MONOLOGUE: Q&A: What was funniest about this sketch wasn't the questions about "the drinking and the hookers and the drugs...and the hookers." It was when the guy got his money back for having to see "men at work." Hey Chaz, my check's in the mail, right? SCORE: 80

HERPES ISLAND, TEMPTATION TRAILER, CANNIBAL: It was sick, it was wrong, it was still funny. And somewhere in L.A. Rupert Murdoch is saying "why didn't I think of those?" However, when Will was chewing that arm, I nearly puked. SCORE:79

IRON CHEF: The voice tracking was funny, but this was no classic. It's ironic that Molly Shannon is funnier when she's doesn't speak in her skits. but she did miss the point which was that the voice track isn't supposed to be in synch with your mouth. The only other thing I found funny was Parnell's Emerill PSA, "kick it up a notch, check for lumps, BAM." I rolled when I heard that SCORE:72

ERIC DICKERSON: I had high expectations for this sketch, since Morgan's imitation of E.D. was the funniest thing on the Monday Night Football sketch earlier this season. While my expectations weren't met, it was still very good. Ferrell's Dan Fouts was also good, and accurate because Fouts does state the obvious. Wild Thing was kind of thrown in there unnecessarily. I guess you got to get the host in the skit somehow, but that wasn't the way. Jimmy's Dennis Miller was OK, but still not as good as Dana Carvey's. Morgan's E.D. was solid. Although I don't know what was up with the "wild thing" dance. As Sheen put it "Eric, you did wear a helmet when you played football, right?" SCORE: 76

THE KULPS: Classic, this premise of butchering classic and current Pop, Hip-Hop, Rock, and R&B songs my be getting old to some, not to me though. Best Line was "Well, good afternoon, what a special mandatory celebration." I'm sure it was real special if it was mandatory. And the precedent was set early when they pulled out the old Quad City DJ's "C'mon and ride it." The DMX cover was uproarious. Best sketch of the Night SCORE:93

UPDATE: Probably the best update of the year to this point. Because at times Jimmy and Tina's delivery seemed awkward at times earlier. It was smooth tonight though. all the lines were funny tonight, but among the best were Jimmy's description of the Clinton Farewell Tour with the "Whitewater beach towels, and everybody was doing the bent penis wave, and they were passing joints around, no one was inhaling" and Jimmy's Madonna and Brittney Spears collaboration line. "as they have so many times in my dreams." Yeah that's the kind of collaboration I was thinking of when I heard that Madonna and Brittany might hook up. SCORE: 89

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...NELLY FURTADO: About what I expected, maybe slightly better. And those army pants made her look like Lauryn Hill when she was in the Fugee's SCORE:71

PATSY MARCH: Being that I watch the Young and the Restless on and off the only thing I liked was Chris Parnell's accurate Victor Newman imitation. Otherwise, it started out as your typical bad Molly Shannon sketch until she did the "hot coals" exit. And the funniest line was " would you like to see him, or would you like to see these(While opening up her shirt)?" SCORE:61

CONGRATULATIONS... IT'S A DUDE:This sketch made no sense, I mean, yeah, the premise of a person(especially one as tiny as Rachel) giving birth to a full grown man is funny. But how did he gamble? was there a bookie inside of Rachel's womb? How did he have "bro bros"? How did he get a "Seiko set to Mountain time zone." It's not supposed to make sense, yet...I don't know.

T.G.I. Friday's OBNOXIOUS WAITER: One role Kattan can not play is an obnoxious teenager. Towards the end of the sketch I wanted to beat his ass. Ferrell's fruity "real life" Thaddeus G. I. Friday saved this sketch from being an abomination SCORE:28

SNL DIGITAL SHORT:THE PERVERT: I'll say this, if this becomes a regular feature on SNL. It has room for improvement. That's the diplomatic way of saying this sketched SUCKED. And I'm normally a fan of Adam McKay's work. At least I was when he worked at Second City. The guy getting off on the cream of wheat guy was just wrong SCORE:8

CHARLIE AND FLEISY: Second best sketch of the night. Yeah, it was a rip-off of the famous Abbott & Costello bit. But that skit must be public domain by now. Rachel Dratch played the perfect Vaudeville whore. Whatever that means. SCORE:90

IN THE END: Overall the show averaged a 70.8. What that means, I have no clue. But, hey, the cast wasn't rusty after having three weeks off, it was a very solid show. Next week, Mena Suvari, I'll enjoy that episode, of those I'm just gonna enjoy looking at Mena Suvari. Lenny Kravitz will be performing. And his music is more my taste. I'm not a huge fan of Lenny, but I'll listen to "again" whenever that song plays on the radio. Until, then this is the end of my first ever review, I'm Steve Bishop. And if Tina Fey actually does read this which I seriously doubt, I'm harmless, really.

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Episode Review written by Steve Bishop

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