Charlie Sheen / Nelly Furtado
January 13, 2001


Hello gang. No, I'm not new here. I was just too lazy to send episode reviews for SNL. Yeah, you heard me! I didn't feel like sending reviews for my favorite show! So, I'm not such a devoted critic! Who wants a piece of me?!! Just kidding, of course. Well, the episodes so far that I missed, if you guys cared or gave a crap, were Tom Green, Val Kilmer, and Lucy Liu. I saw the Tom Green and Lucy Liu episodes and it was kinda....bland if you want to say....Right now, I'm e-mailing right now from my apartment at 9:25 PM eastern time and I got midterms tomorrow, so I don't have much time. So, let's start the review marking my return! Whooptee-sh*t......

Charlie Sheen, I have to say, is the man! I loved his "Hot Shot" movies as well as "Major League." As for Nelly Furtado, I can't say much about her because I don't know who she is. All I know is that she's a singer and has the same name of a famous rapper with no talent or basic intelligence. Would the two of them make for a great SNL show? Probably....Would the two of them make this episode one to stand out in this season? Probably....Did Charlie Sheen attempt to pay Nelly for sex backstage before the show? Probably....we'll see as the review progresses.....

A Message from the President of the United States...or should I say Vice-president?:
The idea of Dick Cheney dying is funny. (That didn't sound right. And please don't send hate mail, all you hardcore Dick fans...that didn't sound right either...) Dubya was good too. Underwear. Fart. That's a classic. Kudos again, SNL, for another great political sketch! Grade: B

Monologue: This was so funny! This has to be one of, or probably the best monologue of the season so far. Poor Tracy, though. Once again, ruining his reputation. Just one of the problems of being the black man in SNL. Eddie Murphy had it easy, though. Other than that, this was a definite classic! Grade: A-

Fox Shows that will make people beg for "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire" back...:
Herpes Island-I think I've been here before. Great accommodation. Great idea. Very funny.
Temptation Trailer-A Jerry Springer guest fantasy. Another great idea. Very funny.
The Cannibal-A Jeffrey Dahmer fantasy. Hhhmm....it's...okay..I guess....
Grade: B

The Iron Chef:
I liked this sketch for one reason. The dubbing. It takes me back to the Hercules sketch in the Bill Murray episode of season 86-87. (Did I watch SNL when I was 2,3 years old? No. There is a channel, though, that I tune in called "Comedy Central" just in case you guys aren't familiar with that...) Other than that, everything else was pretty..okay..
Grade: C

Eric Dickerson's Pre-Game Special:
Okay, Eric Dickerson was funny in the Monday Night Football sketch in the season premiere, but this one just tried too much. That also goes for Dan Fouts. It was nice for "The Wild Thing" to make an appearance in a NFL sketch......sounds kinda weird, doesn't it?
Grade: C-

Culps:
What can I say about this one? These sketches are usually the same. A public speaker speaks. The Culps come in. Sings a couple of songs people love or hate. End of sketch. Everyone goes home. I do have to give it a modest grade though...darn..Grade: B-

Weekend Update:
Another familiar scenario. Good jokes. Good characters. Good everything. End of sketch. Everyone goes home.
Grade: B

Musical Performance-Nelly Furtado:
If I were to grade musical performances based on my like or dislike for the song instead of observing the words or the singer's voice or etc., I probably would have given this a bad grade. I just couldn't lean into it. The beat kinda sounded like a tune from "Super Mario Bros." However, I can't deny the singer's talent. Will she become a big hit? Well, I heard she's Canadian, (which is kinda a surprise because she kinda looked like Latino to me. She was dressed as one of the refugees down in the mountain regions of Peru. You know, that type of mob from the movie "Proof of Life".......) so, I have to say, if she keeps on with her career in Canada, she'll probably make a mark. If she comes in the U.S., I'm not sure because I think we have enough female singers now that are popping the charts and will hog up the limelight Nelly probaby wants in the U.S. so....I'm going to have to give this one a "so-so" grade.
Grade: B-

Molly Shannon is....some white woman..in...:
Molly Shannon tries to do it again, but...no..It's quite a miss. The close ups of Chris Parnell's funny looking face helped out this sketch though. (I'm not making fun of Chris. Chris is cool, but sometimes he looks funny. So shoot me!) I smell another failed character... Grade: D+

I once had an illegitimate child that looked like Ted...:
Funny sketch! Imagine if this were to happen like this in real life? That's something to think about. They would probably stop making "baby butt shots" in baby commercials and "Babies 'R' Us" stores would probably stock up on lottery tickets, booze, cigarettes and porn.
Grade: B+

The incredibly annoying and retarded waiter:
Another annoying performance by Chris Kattan since the "TRL" sketch in the John Goodman episode in the season 99-2000, but it was quite funny. Will Ferrell, however, playing Thaddeus G.I. Friday, (you try remembering his middle names!) made this sketch better though.
Grade: C

The Pervert by Adam McKay:
Oh God! Not another movie! Adam McKay. Talented writer, but please show some effort in your movies because they suck! Digital short. Okay. This movie digitally SUCKED!
Grade: F

Classic Vaudeville:
This one was good. It's very rare that you see a good ending sketch. This sketch is part of a dying breed, the dying breed of good ending sketches. Very well done. Grade: B

Overall Grade: C
I've used a new grading system and came up with this grade. I kind of felt that this could have been better. Did any sketches taint this episode? Yes. Did the musical artist taint this episode? No. But "Super Mario" tunes just don't flow with me unless I'm actually playing "Super Mario Bros." That's when I lean into it.

Anyway, that's it for my huge return. Whoopee. Am I here to stay. Hhmm..for now...anyway, next week's host will be Mena Suvari from the new movie...damnit, I forgot the name of the movie, but it had something to do with cheerleaders and robbing banks and the musical guest will be Lenny Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz will be starring in SNL for, get this, his 3rd time! Now he will be inducted to the 3 timers Club, or is it 5 timers? Yes..it's 5 timers...sorry..

If you would like to e-mail me questions about SNL or if you're an SNL junkie who needs counseling, e-mail me at
nb_7384@yahoo.com

If you are a Dick Cheney fan who would like to e-mail me your hate mail regarding my opinion about Dick Cheney dying earlier in the review, e-mail me at
Nel@MindyourBusiness,Dicklover!(That didn't sound right.).com

Until then, this is Nelson Antonio Bermudez II saying so long.

See you next week.


Episode Review written by Nelson Bermudez


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