Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another long-ass review by the exceptionally talented and brilliant Renee Epstein.

It should not surprise any of you that ONCE AGAIN I am writing this at 2:00 in the morning and am sending it in hoping that I'm not too late and that Sean will post it.

Yeah.

I need to shower and go to sleep, so I'm just going to get right down to business.

[Pre-show Thoughts]
Okay folks, here it ismy Conan rant:
I LOVE CONAN O'BRIEN!!! For those of you who read my reviews on a somewhat regular basis, you probably know by now that I love Jimmy Fallon, and often feel compelled to exclaim it boldly several times during my reviews. This week I will periodically proclaim my love for Conan as well. I am a major MAJOR fan of his. I watch Late Night almost every night and have been doing so for the last five years (before that I never was allowed to stay up that late on a school night). I find Conan to be utterly adorable in every way, shape, and form. There's just something horribly cute about a gawky, tall, freckled redhead who feels the need to self-deprecate. Yes, people, I belong to the exclusive club of women who find Conan irresistible. And no, I am not being sarcastic. I love the guy. In fact, this show may be very difficult for me to watch, as I will be distracted by my attraction to either Jimmy or Conan throughout
If you haven't guessed by now, I tend to have a thing for guys who make me laugh.
Yeahso I love Conan, he's funny, he should be a really good host (especially seeing as he's used to the SNL format after writing for the show) andanddammit, he's a GOD as far as I'm concerned!

And Don Henley should be good, too.
Yep.
Moving on.

[OPENING] A Message From George "Dubya" Bush
"Saturday Night Live, normally delayed at this time" hee hee hee.
This was pretty funny. Will's impression has grown on me considerable since I first saw it. This was great. I especially loved the bit when he said "I'll be on the job, making the tough decisions, 24/7. That's 24 hours a week, 7 months a year." I just about died laughing at that.
Funny funny funny.

Grade: A-

[MONOLOGUE] Conan O'Brien
Dammit, Conan looked good. He did a pretty good monologue, too (probably because he's used to doing them on his show). I loved the clips of Conan's appearances on SNL when he was a writer way back whenand I recognized them all, too. I'm not sure if this means that I have vivid memories of SNL episodes that were first broadcast when I was very little or if it means that I watch SNL reruns far too often on Comedy Central. Anyhoo.
If I almost died laughing at the 24/7 line in the opening, I actually passed away at the sight of Max Weinberg having sex on Conan's desk in the Late Night studio. That was priceless. Good bloody lord. (I think you have to be a horribly obsessed fan of Late Night not to find that slightly disturbing)
All in all, great monologue. It was full of typical Conan/Late Night antics, and I loved it.

Grade: A+

[COMMERCIAL] Subshack
Oh my god.
This was just disgusting. It was sorta funny, but the mere thought of this makes me vomit. Hell, actual Subway sandwiches make me sick.
And Jimmy looked hella weird all padded up like that

Grade: B+

[SKETCH] The Boston Teens (and the Boston 26-year-old)
Yay! I love these characters. I love Jimmy! And I just KNEW they would have to do this sketch. Why did I know that? Because Conan grew up in Boston and a few weeks ago Rachel Dratch appeared on Late Night and said that when Conan hosted he would have to do a Boston Teens sketch. Why do I know that Conan grew up in Boston? Because I am a sad, sad obsessed little fan. AND I LOVE CONAN!!! Rachel referred to his character as a "confirmed hottie"and I'm gonna have to agree. And I'm gonna have to stop this gushing because it's going to get annoying.
Conan looked good with his hair like that. And he did a good accentwhich makes sense, seeing as he grew up in the area.
And the Ben Affleck cameo was great. Really funny, and totally unexpected.
Horatio always cracks me up in these sketches.
Yepthis was just a damn good sketch.

Grade: A

[SKETCH] Moleculo (THE MOLECULAR MAN!!!)
Was Conan/Moleculo fighting PimpBot in the Moleculo opening sequence?
Will anybody who's not a desperately devoted Late Night fan be able to answer that for me?
Anyhoo, this shouldn't have cracked me up as much as it did. The only joke in this was that Moleculo yelled "THE MOLECULAR MAN!!!" every time someone mentioned his name, even when he was disguised as his alter ego. This normally would have irritated the hell out of me and caused me to throw things at the TV and curse the writers. However, I could not stop laughing at this. Maybe I'm biased because I love Conan. Or maybe it was just something about the way he was yelling that was soooo farking amusing. Whatever it was, I loved it.
I enjoyed how Moleculo, dressed as Brent Barker, broke through the wall to yell "THE MOLECULAR MAN!!!"
And I enjoyed the Mexico bit as well.
Bottom line: this was hella funny.
*sigh* Two sketches in a row that feature both Jimmy AND ConanI think I'm thoroughly overwhelmed with my attraction to both of themand that proves that I am an unhealthy fan indeedbut dammit, they're both so adorable! (Okay, this has to stop.)

Grade: A

[SKETCH] Napster Musician Testimony
Darrell was good as Trent Lott, Parnell was fairly good as Evan Bayhbut who the hell was Ana supposed to be? Oh well.
Kattan as David Lee Roth always makes me giggle.
And Conan as Right Said Fredwell, I wasn't expecting it, and I was pleasantly surprised. He did a good accent, he didn't look too hideous in the outfit (no more hideous that the actual Right Said Fred did)he did a good impression of the dancing
I can't handle seeing him shirtless, though. My brain went into overload. He's too cute. I have to get over this. I couldn't concentrate fully on the sketchokay, I'm exaggerating. But I did enjoy seeing him shirtless. He's got a more attractive body than Will Ferrell, who always seems happy to rip his shirt off for sketches and make me wonder why I have to look at himbut I digress.
Back to Conan. I love him! And I loved the line "I became too sexy for my gym membership fee." I don't know why I laughed so hard at that, but I did.
My only objection is that the bald wig didn't exactly work on Conan. I could see where they had attached it to his head. Damn makeup people.
Tracy as the guy from Cameo was highly annoying. Word up.
Rachel wasn't bad as Toni Basil, I guess.
Jimmy as Neil Tennant from the Pet Shop Boys would have been better if he hadn't screwed up and called himself Michael at firstbut I still love you Jimmy, have no fear
(This is the third sketch featuring both Conan and JimmyI'm in paradise)
And Horatio as Rico SuaveOH MY GOD!!! I loved it!!! I was laughing hysterically. I got the hiccups. That was great. That was priceless. I'd completely forgotten about Rico Suave!
Will as Corey Hart was pretty good, too. Hee hee, he wore his sunglasses at night and had a car accident.
Wow. I loved this sketch far too much for my own good.

Grade: A-

[MUSICAL PERFORMANCE] Don Henley
He sang Everything is Different Now. I like this song, but the chorus always gets stuck in my head for hours.
(I don't grade the music.)

[WEEKEND UPDATE] with Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey
I enjoyed the crack about George W. Bush telling reporters that boys don't have anginas.
Hee hee hee.
This was a fairly good Update, but they've done better. It was a bit too short for my taste, and I wished they had had some guests. Oh well. I got to see Jimmy! I LOVE JIMMY!!!
And Tina's funny, too.

Grade: B+

[SKETCH] The Dude Without A Taint
I enjoyed how Conan couldn't pronounce the name Brown. I couldn't stop laughing at that.
The whole taint concept was pretty funny, too. "It taint your hmmm and it taint your haaaso it's taint." Hee hee hee
Yep.
Taint prosthetics?
Will did a variation on a character he's done many many times. It's starting to bug me now.
Conan was good as the doctor. And I enjoyed Horatio as the befuddled patient.
This, however, was a fairly silly sketch. I normally wouldn't have a problem with that, but it went on far too long and as a result became much less funny than it would have been had they condensed it a bit.
Anyhoo.

Grade: B+

[CARTOON] Find the Black People at the Knick Game
What the fuck?
Robert Smigel, I am very disappointed in you.
This wasn't funny at all. This was just dumb.
IT WASN'T EVEN A BLOODY CARTOON!!!
Smigel got lazy this week. I think the pressure of putting out a TV Funhouse every week for Comedy Central is starting to affect his work. I hope he doesn't start half-assing the work he does on Late Night with Conan O'Brien as well

Grade: F

[SKETCH] VH1 Diva-thon Featuring Deandra Wells
Hmmmthis character has appeared before and is only mildly amusing.
I enjoyed how she talked with the band, though. That was kinda funny.
Conan looked weird in that mustache as her son, though. But he did a pretty good job with the guitar solo (and he really does play the guitar. Why do I know this? Because I am obsessed and I love Conan. He plays the drums, too, I think.)
Yeahanyhoo, this wasn't that good of a sketch. It was funny at times, but it was too long, and, for the most part, not that great.

Grade: B-

[SKETCH] A Message From Marc Rich on Behalf of the DNC
This was actually pretty funny. I wasn't in hysterics, but it had some good moments.
A nice, understated performance by Chris Kattan (for once).
Hee hee hee.
Not bad.

Grade: B+

[MUSICAL PERFORMANCE] Don Henley
I didn't like this song as much as the first one.

[SKETCH] James "The Gentleman Masher" Corcoran
And I thought Conan looked weird with the mustache in the Deandra Wells sketch. This mustache just made him look bizarre.
Seeing Conan hop around the ring like that reminded me soooo much of John Cleese in Monty Python's Flying Circus. I think it had something to do with seeing a very tall man bend his legs in weird angles like that. A very Cleese-inspired moment.
Conan didn't do a bad Irish accentwhich figures, because he is Irish (wow, I'm so smart!)
He did a better job than me two years ago when I was in a play set in Irelandthe director wanted us to try to play our roles with an accentI couldn't do ithalf the time I sounded British and the other half I sounded Canadianbut I digress.
Yeah, this sketch was also far too long and fairly mediocre. It should be a given that it would be crappy, as most of the 10 to 1 sketches arebut I know SNL is capable of doing a funny final sketch. I've seen it done. And I was hoping it would happen, but I guess not. The only really funny things about this sketch were seeing Conan hop around in the ring and that weird-ass mustache.
Conan shirtless again, thoughhmmmmm (I have got to get off this crush NOW!!! I meanJimmy will get jealous. Yeah, that was unhealthy of me, too.)
Enough said.

Grade: B-

And that's the show. For the most part, this was a really good show. The only really low points were the Deandra Wells sketch and the "The Gentleman Masher" sketch. Oh yeah, and Robert Smigel's "cartoon", which was just a letdown. God.

There was quite a lot of Jimmy featured in this show, which is always good in my book. I LOVE JIMMY!!! He had to compete with Conan this week for my affection, but ya know.

I'm starting to scare myself. Please stop me if I start sounding pitifully delusional and unhealthy regarding my crushes on Mr. O'Brien and Mr. Fallon.

I think Conan did a really good job. And I'm not just saying that because I love him. I think he did well. I hope they get him to host again sometime.

I LOVE CONAN!!!

And Don Henley was good as well.

Yep.

I'm tired.

Next week the host is Julia Stiles with Aerosmith as the musical guest. Julia Stiles is one of the only actresses that appears in these films targeted towards teenagers that I respect, and she'll probably do well. And I always love Aerosmith. Solooking forward to it.

Once again, just to annoy you all:
I LOVE CONAN!!!
AND JIMMY!!!

Okay, enough already. Until next week

THAT'S IT!!! THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! GOOD NIGHT!!!

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