I was very excited for this show. After all, Conan O'Brien is my future
husband. Bet you didn't know that, huh? In fact, I think he's going to be
quite surprised too! He's my most compatible celebrity, and I just adore
him. Everything that Adam said in his SNL preview on the board sums up
everything I've ever wanted to say about Conan. In a nutshell, he's
intelligent, hilarious, self deprecating, a bit insecure despite everything,
but has surpassed all his hard times to host the best late night talk show.
The Daily Show runs a very close second. And come on, anyone who writes for
BOTH The Simpsons and SNL is a hero to me.

Don Henley. Hmm. Didn't he and the Eagles sing Hotel California? That's
all I know, sorry.

What's really new with me? I'll save that for next weeks show
Other than that, I've just gotten over being sick, interviewed the producer
of one of my favorite movies for a school assignment, and celebrated by
stretching my one lobe to an 8 gauge plug. Plus, I've been going through
hell at work with the upcoming inventory, and there was an over-exaggerated
snowstorm on the East Coast. This was not a fun spring break!

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS: Will
Dick Cheney and his 660 cholesterol. That's good comedy. "Americans can
rest easy, I'll always be running the show." That's tragedy. "14 hours a
night, every night, no ifs ands or buts." Lucky bastard. But if he does
"24 hours a week, 7 months a year- you can count on it," America may just
not blow up in the next year! Political opener finally picking up!
SCORE: 5/5

MONOLOGUE: Conan, Tracy, Max Weinberg, a bunch of lucky people
The crowd was as rowdy as when Conan took his show to LA for a week. That
was a funny ass week. "I love you too sir." That just killed me. As did
"Conan Time," his flashbacks, and the paramedics. Tracy's "I never seen a
television studio before!" was good too. My mother was lamenting no Max
Weinberg (her little crush), and then what do you know! Max is naked again!
This was very surreal, but very funny.
SCORE: 5

SUBSHACK: Jimmy, Maya, Ana, Tracy
My god. I didn't know that was Jimmy at first! It hurt to realize how
perfect he was as a fat nerd since he's my Jimmy, but it was damn funny!
Ana won't look like that when she's middle aged. Hate to say it, but she'll
be skinny, wrinkly, and witchy. 400 times the recommended daily sodium? Oh
lordy. And my absolute favorite line, "All my favorite red meats in 1
sandwich!" Atkins diets are evil. My friend and I used to go to Subway
once a week last semester. It got to the point where the dude would make
our sandwiches without us saying anything. There was always a newspaper ad
talking about the guy that lost that 200 lbs though
SCORE: 5

SULLY AND DENISE: Jimmy, Rachel, Conan, Horatio, Ben Who-fleck
"You're on arrest for public display of a boner!" Conan was supposed to be
26?! Oy, was he a heavy drinker. He really looked nervous though, which
was so cute. I'm so glad to see that this skit really did come to fruition.
Jimmy got carpal tunnel after not having sex for a week?! Ok, to get to
my house from Rockefeller, take the Lincoln Tunnel down to the NJ turnpike
and
Oops. Glad to hear "You're queeah. You ah," and "Sully may lack book
smarts, street smarts, and basic emotional intelligence, but so don't I."
Ben Affleck looked like he was on speed, but it was really cool to see him.
I just loved his skit with them last year, but I haven't seen a repeat of it
since! I'm not a huge Affleck fan (I prefer Casey), but that was so awesome
and unexpected. Loved the bike at the end.
SCORE: 5

MOLECULO: Conan, Tracy, Parnell, Jerry, Jimmy, Rachel, Darrell
THE MOLECULAR MAN!!
I haven't laughed till I sobbed at a skit in the longest time.
Oh did it feel good.
Every time. It was so predictable, but I laughed harder each time. The
voice is hysterical, the breaking through the wall- I mean, c'mon, he turned
back and ran down the hall just to say it! And Horatio's reaction after "El
hombre del los molecules!" killed me too. This skit didn't lose a thing
during the second viewing.
SCORE: 5

Julia Stiles and
AEROSMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More about that next week :-)

NAPSTER HEARING: Kattan, Darrell, Ana, Parnell, Conan, Tracy, Rachel,
Jimmy, Will
Kattan was born to be David Lee Roth, and Rachel was born to be Toni Basil.
Surprisingly, I wasn't too into Jimmy's Neil Tennant, although I did like
"Now I work in an actual pet shop!" I did laugh the hardest at "Riiico
Suaaaave!!" A beekeeper Village Person? Nah, not enough easy access :-) On
the Valentine's Day CD at my store, "I'm Too Sexy" was one of the songs this
year. Heh, that was fun.
SCORE: 4.5

MUSICAL GUEST: DON HENLEY
??? Don't care.

WEEKEND UPDATE: Jimmy, Tina
Short and sweet. Wow, no commentators. My favorite joke, of course, was
"President Bush confidently told reporters, 'Boys don't have anginas!!'" I
can't believe she said cooter though. Pretty funny. Hey, that brand of
cigs are the kind I smoke when I'm stressed! And Chris Kattan had them on
the table in his first ever opening picture. Isn't that just oh-so cute for
me. As a side note, Frank Gifford, I'm with you. Fuckin Schwarzenegger.
SCORE: 4.2

TAINTED LOVE: Horatio, Rachel, Conan, Ana, Will, Parnell and Tracy's voices
135 mph? For Bruce Jenner? I never knew that "fleshy fun bridge" had a
name. Is it really called a taint? Some of the audience appeared to react
when Conan first said it. This was rather amusing, and weird to see Will
and Rachel start to make out for the second time in 2 weeks without Jimmy or
Kattan.
SCORE: 3.5

TV FUNHOUSE: Horatio and Tracy, briefly
Hate to say it, this made me laugh. Whenever we drive through N Philly, we
play Find the White Person ::hangs head in shame:: I can't score though.

DEANDRA FUCKIN WELLS: Maya, Ana, Conan, Will, Horatio, Parnell
"Abusive, soul sucking witch." Perfect. I don't care who Ana's parodying,
I just want to go rip her vocal cords from her throat and burn them when she
does this character. That song is also revolting, and I can't type the
lyrics otherwise the song will be stuck in my mind. Will rules, smack that
bitch Deandra up! The only other good line was, "He played guitar on the
sndtrk for Patch Adams!" Eep.
SCORE: 1

DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE: Kattan
He's using his Antonio Banderas voice. Hmm. I suppose this was pretty
amusing, but I couldn't really get into it. His suit was huge!
SCORE: 2.5

MUSICAL GUEST: DON HENLEY
Blah.

SPORTS CENTURY: Parnell, Conan, Kattan, Tracy
"Lanky, smooth talking Irishmen." That made me depressed since my favorite
one just stopped working at the mall yesterday :-( Anywho, this skit was
really cracking me up. I have no idea why. I just love when Conan uses
that kind of accent. This is the third kind of "historical" final skit
they've used this season. Not too bad at all.
SCORE: 3

OVERALL SCORE: 43.7/55
The beginning was incredible, but the ending really lacked. That's ok
though. Well, I think Conan did a great job. He was nervous at first, but
then he really got going during the MOLECULAR skit. Gotta say that I'm
nervous for Ana though. I enjoy her, but I do agree with the consensus that
she's heading down Shannon road. Plus, as much as I despise saying this, I
think this should be Kattan's last season. Sigh. He just doesn't have a
lot to do anymore, and Peepers and Mango should just be used as a special
treat. Anyway, Conan had 7 skits, and Jimmy was the star tonight with 5
skits, although that honor should technically go to Tracy. He had 7, even
though about 2 were silent, and 1 was a voiceover. Parnell also had 5, one
of which was a voiceover. Will, Ana, and RACHEL had 4. Yeah Rachel!
Horatio also had 4, but one was silent. Kattan had 3. Darrell and Maya had
2. Tina naturally had 1, as did Jerry. Jerry had less screen time then Ben
Affleck and the same as Max Weinberg. Next week is absolutely fabulous for
me!

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