Rob Lowe / Eminem
October 7, 2000

Hello hello hello.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a rather stupid review.

Well, I'm back, to reviewing and ranting and raving and all that jazz. I have learned that there are a few people who ACTUALLY read my reviews (yeah, like four people) and this has made my self esteem stop plummeting for a while. Although school has started up again and it should resume its downward fall very very soon (funny how high school does that to people). Anyway, so that's always a good thing. One of my readers said that while she likes my reviews, she thinks that they are far too long. And looking back over some of my reviews from last year, she's right. So I'm gonna attempt to refrain from analyzing the sketches too much and writing down every single line that cracked me up, cause that will take up too much time and space. I'm doing this for the people. I'm not being self-centered for once. Yay for me.

A few things before I start my review of the season premiere:

So, the cast of SNL has undergone a few changes. Along with a few new featured players, three of the regulars have gone. Let's start with Cheri Oteri: When I found out that she was leaving, I screamed with joy and danced around like a moron in order to celebrate. Well, not really. But I sure was happy. Why? Because she irritates me to death. Her only good impression was Barbara Walters. Every single character she did was a variation on Ariana the Spartan Cheerleader. It really irritated me. She was the most overrated person on the show. So, needless to say, I was thrilled when I found out that she left.

Now, when I heard that Colin Quinn was leaving, I was a little more upset. Okay, significantly more upset. He was really funny, and his last two years on Weekend Update I think were just great. He was doing a really good job, and now we've got to wait for a new set of people to get accustomed to the Update thing, which, as we saw with Colin, is not an easy task.

And Tim! Tim Meadows! Okay, this is how young I am: I cannot remember a time when Tim Meadows was NOT on SNL. I started watching the show the very same year that he first became a featured player. (I mean, sure, through Comedy Central I've seen the episodes from previous eras and have now come to worship Dennis Miller as a god--well, not really, but he just cracks me up and I love him, etc....anyhoo.) But, I mean, I just can't think of SNL without thinking of Tim. So...I was very very sad when I found out he was leaving. Although I'm glad I'll get to see him on The Michael Richards Show (assuming NBC won't cancel it after three weeks). And I'm definitely gonna see "The Ladies Man" movie. But...*sigh*...I'll miss Tim...

A positive note about Tim's departure: Tracy Morgan will FINALLY get more air time. And I'm happy for him for that. YAY!!! But...Tim's gone...

Okay. Enough of that. On to the review!


[Pre-Show thoughts]
Rob Lowe, huh? Well, he's very funny. He did a great Robert Wagner impression in Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me. He didn't do a bad job hosting the show a few weeks ago. And I really really love "The West Wing". I do. It's a hella good show. I was very glad when it won all those Emmys. Well-deserved awards, I say. So, yeah. And Eminem? Well, here's my thing about Eminem: I want to hate him. I really do. His lyrics would normally infuriate me. He says the most horrible, hurtful, damaging things in his songs, and I really should despise them. But...they're so damn catchy. And I just can't help liking them. And I just can't help liking Eminem, even though I don't want to. It's like watching a train wreck. You don't like it, but you're riveted to it anyway. That's exactly like my thing with Eminem. I don't like what he has to say, but I listen to it anyway. I don't know why that happens, but that's the way it is. So...I was expecting a thoroughly entertaining show.

[OPENING] Al Gore and George W. Bush Debate
Oh my. It looks like Darrell will have plenty to do if Gore wins. I really have to say, while the man only bore a vague resemblance to our Vice President, he sounded EXACTLY LIKE HIM!!! It was just fantastic! How the hell did he pull that off! INCREDIBLE, I say! Wow. And if Hillary Clinton becomes a New York senator, he won't have to retire his Bill impression. I was sufficiently impressed.
Will Farrell looks a lot like "Dubya", so he pulled it off well.
I appreciated how they portrayed the Governor as a walloping idiot. And how they portrayed Gore as...well, Gore.
My friend's boyfriend plans to move to France if Bush wins. I'm serious. He's already made all the arrangements. I don't blame him for wanting to flee in that situation.
If I had to pick one of the two candidates to run the country, I'd pick Gore. I don't want that moron Bush in charge of things. His stupidity frightens me.
But I'd rather have Martin Sheen, quite frankly.
Back to the sketch. It was wonderful. It was accurate. It was funny as hell. SNL is off to a great start this year.
Man, I'm trying to make my reviews shorter, but it ain't working. I'll keep working at it.

Grade: A

Nice. I like them. Very cool. Very very cool.
Kind of a harkening back to the opening credits of the early 90's SNL era. Anyone remember those? Watch Comedy Central at midnight on weekdays for a reminder.
Who's the new announcer? It didn't sound like Don Pardo. I'm scared. They didn't get rid of him, did they? He didn't retire, did he? He's not sick, is he? Oh god.
LENNY PICKETT AND THE SNL BAND!!! Now they've officially made Lenny the front man! They haven't mentioned the front man since G.E. Smith. I miss G.E. He was damn cool. I wonder what he's been up to. Anyhoo, I'm happy for Lenny. I'm sure he's happy, too.
That's all I have to say about that.
I'm not gonna grade the opening credits. That would be pathetic.

Funny funny funny.
Who didn't love this?
"Is the room where they blow the President located in the West Wing?" I was totally expecting someone to ask Rob a question like that, but it still cracked me up. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.

Grade: A-

[COMMERCIAL] Corn Chip Nail Tips
Now this was just plain odd.
Not much else I can say. Except for the fact that this really frightened me.
This is strange.
And it wasn't very funny.
It just bothered me.

Grade: B-

[SKETCH] Monday Night Football
Well, I expected Jimmy to do the Dennis Miller impression. And I was curious to see how it compared to Dana Carvey's Miller impression. And this is what I have to say: Not bad, Jimmy. Although Dana's was better.
BUT I DO LOVE JIMMY!!! (Sorry, just had to say that.)
And he did do a pretty good job.
The sketch wasn't too bad. Although the only thing I laughed at was Jimmy's impression, soooo...

Grade: A- for Jimmy, B for the rest

[INTERLUDE] Lorne, Rob, and Ralph Nader
I liked this. This amused me. Especially this line by Ralph: "I don't take bribes like the Republicans and the Democrats. My price is wayyy too high. They don't call it the Green Party for nothing! Ha ha ha ha ha!" I nearly died laughing, for some odd reason. I give Ralph much credit for doing this, even though he has appeared on the show many times in the past. Twas very funny. Especially how Rob didn't even recognize him. Hee hee hee. Funny funny stuff.

Grade: A

[SKETCH] Court TV Pros & Cons with Scooby Doo and Shaggy
This was pretty weird-ass, too. But I loved it because it reminded me of my childhood. I used to watch Scooby Doo all the farking time. And Rob did a really good job as Shaggy. Tee hee.
And whoever was doing Scooby's voice was pretty good, too.
This was quite funny. Good sketch. Although Ana's monotonous voice really bothered me. I'm assuming that she was imitating the actual host of this show, but it still irritated me.
But it doesn't matter. It still was good.

Grade: A-

[MUSICAL PERFORMANCE] Eminem featuring Dido
EMINEM featuring DIDO?!
What a random pair.
Nice, though.
That damn song "Here With Me", the theme to the WB show Roswell, has been seriously overplayed here, to the point where I want to smash my radio every time I hear it, but I have to admit, Dido has a nice voice. She has a strange accent, though. I wonder where she's from. And if her name really is "Dido".
As I said before, no matter what Eminem does, I like it, even if I don't want to. And, keeping with the pattern, I really liked this song, even though the lyrics freaked me out.
I did like it, though. As I predicted.
I had that chorus that Dido kept singing in between Eminem's verses stuck in my head for HOURS after this, though. That got annoying.
But, anyhoo, as I've said numerous times already, I liked it.

Grade: A
(although I don't normally like grading musical guest cause I never know how to)

[WEEKEND UPDATE] with Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey
My initial reaction when I first heard them announce Jimmy and Tina as the anchors:
Oh god
Oh god
Oh god

Yeah, I guess I was still in denial about Colin leaving. I miss him. And I really initially thought that the Ana Gasteyer and Chris Parnell pairing would be better for Update.
AND ALSO, I've noticed in the past how the Update anchors don't really appear that much in the sketches. Now, I couldn't care less about Tina, cause I've never really seen her perform (although she is SNL's head writer and the writing's pretty good, so I guess she's talented), but I really hope that this doesn't mean that Jimmy won't appear in as many sketches as he used to. I mean, because he's so incredibly talented and he has the potential to really rise to the top here and he's a great impersonator and I love his characters and...and...and...and he's SO DAMN CUTE AND I JUST LOVE HIM AND...oh...*ahem*...yes, well, you get my point. Yeah. Moving on.
"...and when we get together, we make news." Is that REALLY what they said? REALLY???? Oh, god, I think I'm gonna vomit, that's just so cutesy and irritating.
Okay, in all fairness, at first they seemed kinda forced, but then it got pretty good. I mean, they had some really good jokes. And NO, I'm NOT saying all this just because I love Jimmy....but I do love him a lot...okay, I really have to stop doing that.
Tina's only a featured player, but she's a Weekend Update anchor. That strikes me as weird for some odd reason. Someone tell me I'm not being unreasonable in my thinking this way.
This was kinda cool with two anchors. It reminded me slightly of the original SNL cast, when Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd sometimes did Update together.
I don't really like the new set, though.
The Kid Shazaam and Grand Master Rap thing was hilarious, though. I loved that. Especially when Eminem came in, said that he should perhaps clean up his act a bit, and started rapping with them.
Eminem cleaning up his act, though? Yeah, like that'll ever happen.
Anyhoo, twas very funny.
AND TIM CAME BACK!!! YAY!!! I don't care if it was solely to promote his movie and The Michael Richards Show. HE CAME BACK TO VISIT!!!
*sigh* I'm gonna miss him sooooooo much. It just won't be the same without him.
Bottom line: I miss Colin, although Tina and Jimmy seem to be off to a pretty good start. If Jimmy appears in fewer sketches, though, I'll be pissed. And I'm gonna miss Tim Meadows.
The closing line irritated me: "Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow." Isn't that what they said? Isn't it? And isn't that VERY similar to what Jane Curtin used to say? Didn't she used to say something to the effect of, "Have a good night and a safe tomorrow"? Or SOMETHING like that? All I know is that Tina's closing line was FAR TOO CLOSE to Jane's closing line. And I didn't like that.
Other than that, not a bad Update.

Grade: B+

[SKETCH] Blind Date From Hell
Now THIS was stupid, man.
What the fark?
Did I miss something here? Please help me. This was not funny in the least bit whatsoever. My god, this was bad. Bad bad bad bad bad.
This was sooooo farking pointless.
Molly Shannon has now replaced Cheri Oteri and become the cast member on this show that I most want to leave. I waited patiently for years and FINALLY Cheri took off, so hopefully I'll just have to be patient a bit longer and Molly will do the same.
This was really strange. And, as I said earlier, pointless.
And what WAS the deal with Molly not wanting to talk about her brother and his wife and living by the dunes? HELLO?
This was just a really really bad sketch.

Grade: F

[SKETCH] Stone Phillips rehearses for Dateline NBC
Stone Phillips sure does have it easy, doesn't he? He just stands there, gives his intro, turns it over to another journalist, and that's it. Easy money. Wow, I envy him.
Incidentally, who the HELL names their child STONE???!!!!! Is it short for something? But what? God, that's gonna bother me now every time I watch Dateline.
As for the sketch, well, there wasn't much to it. It just seemed like an excuse to show the General Electric building over and over and over again--can everybody say "suck up to the parent company"?
But it was funny, simply because Rob Lowe did a WONDERFUL impression of Stone Phillips. Dead-on accurate, I say. It was really really good. And they got him to look sufficiently like the man, also, so that made it even better.

Grade: A-

And here he is with "The Real Slim Shady". I can't get enough of this. I don't get it. He says the most rotten things, but I still can't help loving the song.
It's too damn catchy.
So now, along with that refrain that Dido kept crooning in Eminem's previous number, I also had
"Cause I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
And all you other Slim Shadys
Are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up"
STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR HOURS after the broadcast.
But I still do like this song. A lot.
And I don't know why.

Grade: A
(why not?)

[SKETCH] Kattan's 500th (or whatever number it was) Talk Show Sketch
I loved this. Just loved it.
A blatant parody of NBC's overly sappy Olympic Athlete bios. Ya gotta love it.
Incidentally, NBC did a crappy job covering the Sydney 2000 Olympic Games. Who the HELL wants to watch Olympic events on tape nearly a day after they occur? I hated watching the events knowing EXACTLY who was gonna win. And the sappy athlete bios really did get on my nerves.
Back to the sketch.
Brendan Fraser? What the hell was he doing here? Random cameos are always funny, though. Like the Ralph Nader one from earlier this evening (although that wasn't too random considering Rob Lowe is on a show about the presidency and the elections are coming up soon). And the Tim as "Leon Phelps the Ladies Man" cameo from Update (even though that wasn't really random, either, seeing as the movie is being released soon).
I loved the voice-over by Chris Parnell. He's got a good voice for the voice-overs. I guess he's kinda like Phil Hartman in that way. *sigh* I miss Phil...
"...he's better at gay characters." Hee hee hee, how true.
And I died laughing when they pointed out that Chris Kattan's mom is a drag queen and his dad is a monkey. "This should explain a lot." Oh, yes, it does.
I nearly passed out, I was laughing so much.
This was great.

Grade: A

[COMMERCIAL] Dream Team 2000 and Sydney 2000 Video
This was just stupid.
Not very funny at all.
What a letdown after that great Kattan sketch before this.

Grade: D

I just have a bit of a question:
Is Tim Meadows a Nader supporter? I'm only asking cause he was holding the sign with the Nader website on it. Or was he just holding it so that Ralph didn't look like a completely pathetic moron holding up that sign. If anyone knows, please tell me, cause I'm curious now.

A very very good show. I liked it. SNL's 26th season is off to a terrific start. I was pleasantly surprised by the new Update anchors and I thought on the whole the sketches were very good (with the exception of that STUPID blind date thing they did). As usual, I loved Eminem. God knows why.
I was just slightly disappointed that Rob didn't appear in very many sketches. I mean, the only things I saw him in were the monologue, that little hallway bit with Ralph Nader, the Scooby Doo on Court TV sketch, and the Stone Phillips sketch. There were a number of sketches that he didn't appear in at all. I thought the whole point was that the host appeared in all the sketches, or nearly all of them. I thought the whole fun of SNL was seeing the celebrity host do things they wouldn't normally do, play characters and do impersonations to show off their versatility and talent. And while Rob did do that, he didn't so as much as he could have, and that was a little bit of a disappointment.
But I have to say, in the sketches that he did appear in, he did a really good job. So that's always a good thing.

As I said earlier, SNL's 26th season is off to a really good start. Hopefully this year will make up for the mediocrity of last season.

Next week the host is Kate Hudson with Radiohead as the musical guest. Call me pathetic, but I really am not too familiar with Radiohead. I feel like I've been living under a rock or something. Anyhoo. I do know who Kate Hudson is, and I have a feeling that she'll be a pretty good host. She was really good in "Almost Famous" (which Jimmy Fallon--WHO I LOVE!!!---sorry, uh, yeah, Jimmy Fallon had a small role in that movie). I really liked that movie. Great performances by the entire cast. Anyhoo, she's pretty talented, so hopefully she'll do a good job next week. Her mom, incidentally, is Goldie Hawn, another really talented woman. And hella funny, too. I don't think Goldie has ever hosted SNL, but I'm not sure. I should go check up on that.

Anyhoo, it should be good. So, until next week, au revoir, mes chous!


Episode Review written by Renee Epstein

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