Rob Lowe / Eminem
October 7, 2000


God, that expression has gotten so dated, eh? If you think that's bad, tune
in next week when I'll be singing the "Always Coca Cola" jingle.

Well, for those of you who've been under a rock for the last little while,
chose to forget, or have the more acceptable excuse of having just
discovered the site and having no idea who I am, I am now in my first year
at Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ontario. It's going fine, I got
through the experimenting and the surgery and all that, and the little green
bastards were really nice.. wait a minute, that wasn't university... that
was the other unpleasantness! I'm really not supposed to talk about that,
so let's hope Sean edits this part.

Laurier's good, though. It's been a good and different experience and it's
taken some getting used to, but I'm managing.

Just so any fellow Laurier students who may read this aren't confused, there
is a first year football player who never gets to dress whose name is Jordan
Davie. I haven't met the guy as of yet, but I've been mistaken for him at
least three times. For the last time, it's not me, so please stop thinking
it is! Incidentally, what really makes me curious is if he's ever been
mistaken for me. :)

Speaking now of the football players who DO get to play, they defeated the
football team of Mark Polishuk's school, the University of Western Ontario,
38-37, so it is, of course, my moral obligation to remind Mark every chance
I get.

Anyhoo, remember my Walken review last season in which I thought of putting
together a list of names to post in a later review? Well, it wasn't posted
until after the season was over, but I still managed to grab one response in
late June. Thanx to Mary Kariker for being a good sport.

Well, those of you waiting to read the first review I've ever typed from
Laurier... will have to wait until next week. Sorry, but I'm currently back
in Orangeville this weekend for Canadian Thanksgiving. But if you want the
first review of this, my third season, then you've come to the right place.

Overview - Rob Lowe is a very talented man, whether he's making us laugh in
Tommy Boy or thrilling us in The West Wing. He did a good job in 1997, and
I was anxious for an encore. Eminem, while not talented in a musical sense,
I still find entertaining.

Presidential Debate - Bush's lines were funny, Gore's were not. I figure
that was the idea, but Gore's lines also went on way too long. Was that Rob
Lowe playing Jim Lehrer? I didn't recognize whoever that was. Must have
been a good disguise. C

Montage - This is the best montage SNL has EVER HAD! The graphics were just
so cool! I see we have another black guy, too. Good call.

Monologue - A lot of cool one-line questions.. not consistent enough,
though. C

Corn Chip Nail Tips - Cool! If these things actually existed, I could
finally have an excuse to crossdress. B

Monday Night Football - The spoiler I was most looking forward to for this
week. I was disappointed. Ferrell's Dan Fouts had the coolest lines, and
Fallon's Dennis Miller wasn't too bad (although unbelievably inaccurate),
but there was no main focus. B-

Who the Hell Is That? - If I hadn't known about the Nader cameo, I may have
been in the same predicament as Rob. Actually quite an amusing situation.
I hope Nader's not getting his hopes up for being president, though. That
would just be sad. B

G-G-G-G-Ghost! - Perfect! The breakout sketch that this season premiere
needed! The dialogue was amazing, and the Shaggy and Scooby voices, were
dead on. Who was doing Scooby? That'd be a cool thing to know. A+

Eminem with Dido - Dido was actually very entertaining. Eminem was slower
than his normal self, and that last verse might have actually passed as a
cool dramatic monologue if not for the rap lyrics. B-

Weekend Update - My old line: Colin good. My new line: Fallon and Fey
amazing! The jokes kicked ass and it was cool seeing the Ladies Man for one
last time on the small screen. The rappers that Horatio and newbie Jerry
Minor played were pretty, um.. old school. Seeing Eminem try to be like
them was pretty funny. Speaking of old school, back to "Good night and have
a pleasant tomorrow?" Couldn't they think of a better closer? Other than
that, pretty cool.

Interlude - Since this is an interactive review, and I am my kid's mom
(sorry, I've been watching too much of the new Dr. Laura show..), I thought
I'd find out what you think. If you were doing Weekend Update, what would
your closing line be? Only send in originals (ie. "That's the news folks,
and I am outta here" won't cut it.) I'll post the best ones next week or
whenever I get enough reponses. Anyhoo, send 'em to, and I'll do what I can with them.

Blind Date - I might have been entertained by this if I hadn't already seen
it before while on an actual blind date. Yes, I do realize how sad that is.

Dateline - The impression was good. Unfortunately, repetition doesn't cut
it with me. C+

Director: How was that, Mr. Davidson?

Me: I don't know, maybe I should focus more on the impression and give a
higher grade.

Director: Whatever you say, sir.

Dateline - The impression kicked ass! A little bit repetitive, but that's
to be expected. B

Director: How about that?

Me: Nah, I still stand by my first grade.

Director: Suit yourself.

Dateline - The impression was good. Unfortunately, repetition doesn't cut
it for me. C+

Eminem - The song has always been interesting. It is like hearing a bad
comedy album over and over again, so it's not AS good, but not horrifying
either. B-

Chris Kattan: Comic Athlete - This kicked so much ass. It was such a
perfect crossover sketch that it wasn't even funny. That's a figure of
speech. It was hilarious. We need more like this. A+

Dream Team 2000 - At this point, I just knew all of my readers were watching
this and saying, "I wonder if Davidson's pissed." Well, I wasn't. I found
this just as cool as the last sketch. While the cracks of Vince Carter
being a taunter were greatly exaggerated, it was cool how they compared the
dunk over the tall French guy to one over a short Chinese guy. Priceless
for a basketball fan. Any sketch with Vince is cool in my book. (*cough
host in May*) A+

Overall - Lots of weak spots, but a very strong ending. Enough good points
to be deemed an all right show. B

Next week, Kate Hudson, the cute girl who I'm still having trouble believing
once emerged from Goldie Hawn. (they're both HOT!) If they weren't famous,
they'd be a Jerry Springer topic waiting to happen. Radiohead's cool too.

Good night!

Director: So how did you like that?

Me: You still here?

Director: It was brilliant! Okay, we'll start the Kate Hudson review in
five minutes!

Me: Don't I kinda have to see the show first?

Director: You bring up an interesting point. Man, how do we pass the time?

Me: We could go read Polishuk's review.

Director: Yeah, maybe you could steal something!

Me: For the last time, I am not stealing the word "Aftershuks!"

Director: Your loss, it's a hilarious word!

Me: Fans, this could take a while, I guess I'll see you next week, or you
could look for me at Laurier. Bye now!

Director: Laurier? You told me you went to Western, you liar?

Me: There's a reason for that...

Episode Review written by Jordan Davidson

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