Rob Lowe / Eminem
October 7, 2000


Hello and welcome to Biggins' take on SNL. I'm Biggins, and along with a
basic review of the how each week, I'll also keep tallies for best performer
of each episode and for the year. Kind of a Heisman Trophy of humor. This
being my inaugaral review, I'd like to say "what-up" to all of my fellow SNL
fans. As a loyal SNL fan, I was pretty damn excited for the new season.
And after hearing rumors of a "new cast," various questions floated around
in my head... For example, who would be the next in line to host Weekend
Update? And maybe asking Lorne why he picked Rob Lowe to host the opener.

Before I go any further, here's what I was thinking pre-show. Gasteyer,
Kattan, and Shannon, will have their roles reduced significantly. The Show
will make way for Fallon, Parnell, and Sanz. I've always thought Parnell
and Fallon were the studs of their class which includes Dratch, Rudolph and
Sanz. Last season, Sanz' stock grew tremendously, thanks to never-forget
appearances in the Boston Teens' sketches, and that hilarious GAP-FAT
commericial. He also had one of the funniest Update appearances as the
cartoon-drawing pervert, "".

Obviously Ferrell will not fade, and Hammond will be relied to serve as
the expert-impersonator. But with Tim Meadows, Cheri Oteri, and Colin Quinn
gone, it's wide open. Well here goes:

NBC Election Special: The First Presidential Debate (10:02)
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I thought Parnell did a good Jim Lehrer, and as always Hammond does
carbon-copies of celebrities, while Ferrell adds interesting quirks to his.
And last season we saw a lot of Gore and George W., so we knew what to
expect. This skit wasn't bad, although it did seem like it ran a little
long. I liked the reminder to voters that "for the next 3 hours, viewers in
MI, MO, and PA would receive free pay-per-view, courtesy of the Republican
National Committee." This skit was funny, but not hilarious. As far as
political sketches go, it was pretty good. Based on that, and the fact that
my expectations were very high, I give the debut sketch of the 2000-2001
season:
8 OF 10

Lowe Monolouge (3:07)
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Lowe has been funny on the show before, but I thought his monolouge sucked.
This was a typical "questions from the audience" type, which was
disappointing. Hearing newcomer Minor ask how big Hilary's booty is, and
having Downey ask "is the room they blow the President in the West Wing?"
But the best thing of all is that it wasn't long. They got in and they got
out. This monolouge was un-original by format, but had a couple of funny
questions from the audience.
5 OF 10

Corn Chip Nail Clips (:54)
--------------------------------------

One of the best things about SNL over the years would have to be the
collection of funny products advertised... whether it's Crotch Bat, Litter
Critters, or Oops I crapped my Pants! (adult diapers) you can usually count
on laughs. I thought this one was pretty good, it made me laugh out loud.
4 OF 5 for the commercial, plus a bonus point for a new commercial

Monday Night Football (5:45)
-------------------------------------------
Fallon's version of SNL-alum Dennis Miller seemed to be a little like Dana
Carvey's version, but it doesn't matter--it's still hilarious. The writers
did a good job of combining outrageous antecdotes with Fallon's attention to
detail, especially with Miller's voice and manuerisms. Ferrell/Hammond were
solid as Dan Fouts/Al Michaels. Miss Rudolph annoyed me a little as Melissa
Stark, but Tracy Morgan was money as Eric Dickerson ("aw snap!"). In the
end, this definitly had it's funny moments, but it was missing something.
I'm not sure what, so I give it a 7.
7 OF 10

Ralph Nader talks to Lorne (2:40)
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About the only thing funny about this was when they showed a close-up of
Nader. His lazy eye scared the hell out of me, but then made me laugh. For
all I know, it's a glass eye. And yes, your position on the
decriminilization of weed would give you my vote
1 OF 5

Pros & Cons (Court TV) (4:40)
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Rob Lowe really surprised me with this one. He did an excellent job
portraying Shaggy. I didn't find this skit funny though. Granted I had an
occasional smile, but not the high-energy, make you bend over, hurt after
awhile, tear causin, laughter. Gasyeyer played her regular role as the
boring host (Nancy Grace), while Parnell took the attorney (Mark
Fassbinder). I don't have much to comment on this one, all I can say is
that I think it sucked.
5 OF 10

EMINEM f/ Dotto "Stan" (5:47)
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This is one of my favorite songs on the Marshall Mathers LP. Some of you
are like, "he's biased cause he likes Eminem." Exactly. If a musical guest
is on that I don't like, it will take the rating of the show down. This
song is good, it actually sounded good live, which for rap is rare. Throw
that and Slim's stage presence it all equals a perfect score.
5 OF 5

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey (Ladies Man, fathers of
hip-hop) (12:40)
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What? Co-hosts for Weekend Update? Jimmy Fallon and who? Jimmy Fallon?
Interesting... can't wait to see how this one turns out. The answer: a
pleasant surprise. What made this work was the guests: Leon Phelps (Ladies
Man) and the old-school rappers: Grandmaster Rap, Kid Shazam, and Eminem.
And even though Tim Meadows plugged everything but old pal David Koechner's
head, it was funny. The pot story was humorous. Overall, I can appreciate
Fey's biting sarcasm and Fallon's sophomoric lead-stories. And for a debut
on Update, things went smoothly.
9 OF 10

Blind Date at the airport (6:31)
--------------------------------------------
I love how Ferrell, Shannon, and Kattan can work together. Being seasoned
veterans, they were good individually, but this skit went nowhere. I almost
laughed more because the idea was absurd. But big stars can't perform
top-notch conversation without more substance. This skit sucked, but I
admit laughing when I heard some guy in the audience snorting, and at little
things that Kattan, Shannon, and Ferrell did. Could have been much worse.
6 OF 10

Dateline intro's with Stone Phillips (3:41)
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Once more, Rob Lowe was on-point with his Stone Phillips resemblence. "The
trampoline: children's playtoy, or vicious backyard killer?" There wasn't
enough variety in his lines though. And Ferrell cracked me up when he
yelled "DON'T ROLL UP THAT CABLE UP! GARY, PUT THE CABLE BACK! TWO MORE!"
This skit was mediocre, but I gotta give it up for Lowe's acting ability
once more.
6 OF 10

EMINEM "Real Slim Shady" (3:20)
----------------------------------------------------
The biggest song of the summer resulted in another perfect score for the
muscial guest slot. I was pissed they cut out his last verse, but time
restrictions come with live TV. Eminem looked pretty tossed, but he played
by the rules, and delivered a exciting edited version. DETROIT WHAT!!!
5 OF 5, plus 1 for the overall guest = 6 OF 5

Chris Kattan prepares for Looks on Books (1:45)
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Announcers Parnell and Hammond mention that this is Kattan's fifth season,
and his 85th Talk Show sketch. For some reason, Brenden Fraser gave him a
rubdown.
9 OF 10

THE DREAM TEAM 2000 VIDEO (1:40)
-----------------------------------------------------------
There is nothing I like more than biting sarcasm. This was well-written and
performed well too by Parnell. The show really needed something like this
to improve it's score.
5 OF 5

OVERALL GRADE: 7.3 or C- (77-105)
TIME: 1:02:32
MOST APPEARANCES: Chris Parnell, 5.
BEST PERFORMANCE: Parnell 13 points (as Jim Lehrer, Mark Fassbinder, and
announcing for Dateline, Kattan's training, and Sydney 2000 Video.)
CLOSE SECOND: Tracy Morgan

When the dust cleared after episode one, the final tally gave the season
premier a C-. If it weren't for a late rally (41 of 50 from Update on) then
the show would have been closer to a D-. Eminem gave the show a spark, but
there was no Nick Burns-the computer guy, no Mango, no Cheerleaders (I miss
you Cheri), basically nothing featured from last season other than the
Ladies Man, which we may see again if Tim Meadows hosts. We caught a
glimpse of the Weekend Update of the future, and who knows, maybe we WILL
see more of Kid Shazam & Grandmaster Rap. Next week, Kate Hudson hosts
while Radiohead strums the tunes. Hopefully, something to look forward to.
Who knows maybe Rachel Dratch will appear in a sketch. Maybe not.

QUOTES

"You're going to have to do better than that, other countries. America's
the best, and we want to relive it, order today!"--Parnell for Sydeney
2000.

"I've always thought, too much sex is like too much Christmas."--Leon
Phelps, the Ladies Man, on Update. (Meadows)

"This past Sunday the Olympic Games came to a close in Sydney, Australia
with the United States winning 97 medals, the most of any country. So suck
on that, Portugal."--Fallon during Update.

"I don't know what that was all about. But don't mess with Texas."--George
W. Bush in the first presidential debate. (Ferrell)

"Al, my prediction is that whoever puts the most points on the scoreboard
will probably win tonight's football game."--Dan Fouts' expert analysis.
(Ferrell)

"By any measure, wide receiver Randy Moss scores more often then Leonardo
Dicaprio at a N'Sync concert, in the Mall of America, during a lunar
eclipse."--Dennis Miller, Monday Night Football. (Fallon)


Episode Review written by Biggins


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