Lucy Liu / Jay-Z
December 16, 2000

Hey, I'm the Chugman. You probably don't know me. I wrote a review for the Tom Green episode, but didn't send it in on time. Not that anyone would have read it, or that they're reading this one. I feel like the Conan O`Brien sketch where no one is watching so they can do politically uncorrect and offensive things. OH YEAH, I'M A SEX MACHINE, NO WOMAN CAN RESIST MY MASSIVE...

Anyway, you get the idea. Lucy Lui is on the show. She's "the other Charlie's Angel" and on that Ally McBeal show. I haven't watched either. Jay-Z's the musical guest, but I don't place too much importance on musical guests anyway, as I often channel surf while they're on.

The Show

I want a recount of my re-fried beans OR Man, this menu's hard, it's HARD
It's over. The Bush/Gore cold openings have provided some of the most entertaining moments of this season. I'm almost sorry Gore didn't win, Darrell has him down so well. ALMOST. What is Hammond going to do now? Will he attempt Bush? Well, this was a decent enough ending for Indecision 2000, but how will they start these shows now?
Rating: B

But have the audience was thinking, Lucy Who?
Wow, that was at least more innovative than most SNL Monologues. However, I kind of cringed during the Oriental stereotyping, middle-class white boy guilt, I guess. And, hey, Hugh Fink's back, so that's good.
Rating: C+

Beam me the hell out of here
Ah, Shatner ranting. You know, this is one impression anyone could do, just insert your own akward pauses. Anyhow, it was true-to-life, but not that funny. Shatner's line about the internet not being an actual place saves this from C-hood. I'm a geek.
Rating: C+

I'll bet nobody "requested" another one of these sketches
Isn't it a little soon to do another TRL, with the same group? Jimmy's Carson Daily is a fine impression, but Gemini's Twin kills this dead. There has to be something else for Maya Rudolph to do. And why is this so early in the show? Is Carson a massive tool? Thanks, I couldn't have figured that one out on my own
Rating: C

Ah, warm comfort of Celebrity Jeopardy, like a mother's bossom... that's your set-up, Mr. Connery
Oh hell yeah. It doesn't really matter who else you throw on there, Connery and Trebek could do this themselves. However, Jimmy's Robin Williams was dead on. Lucy was there to fill out the third seat, but Connery had all the great lines here. Anal Bum Cover. I even got a kick out of "I don't remember how it goes, but your mother's a whore."
Rating: A+

Can I borrow that chainsaw, I'd like to lop off my own head
Is this Molly Shannon's last show? I'd heard that it was, but even so, why would she want to go out with Pretty Living? Helen Madden is one of the worst character's in SNL history, with absolutly no grounding anywhere near reality. Same with this sketch. If you'd rather yell at the TV than listen to it, you're in trouble.
Rating: F

Why don't you download a life
Nice showcase for Fallon's talent, too bad it missed the show. Must have been getting drunk. Internet geek stoner. That's a new one at least. Doesn't save this from D-ville.
Rating: D

Maybe instead of hos, he should pimp No-Doze, that rhymes, and you know it rhymes.
Rating: N/A

Where was that again, Jimmy?
Weekend update is the only part of the show that's completely unaffected by everything else in the show. Dratch's Madison was great. Just make her a cast member, already. Joke's seemed tired and used. Can Kattan even play a character with a speaking roll anymore?
Grade: B-

Like ornaments on a tree, these are the days of our lives
Hey, a little cutsy, but it worked. Parnel needs more to do than the "normal guy".
Rating: B

4 homeboys, 1 car, and 1 moosehead
OK. I dig Goulet. And somehow I doubt that was "prop weed" being enjoyed by the boys. Jay-Z not knowing the words was great. Oh yeah, I'm still not sure if Ferrell dropped an F-bomb. But, somehow I don't think it matters.
Rating: A-

It's a hard knock life, for the viewers
Yeah, that's Jay-Z.
Rating: N/A

Season's Greetings, Pt. 2
Horatio is cool. But, you know, it was pretty much the same as last time. Something that quirky shouldn't really be duplicated. It just doesn't work.
Rating: C

Ouch, that wasn't pretty. At least it had Jeopardy, a sketch of the year candidate. Well, I got what I expected.

Show GPA
2.5, I was pretty generous with this one. That doesn't exactly seem right, but what are you gonna do. A recount would be unconstitutional.

Until next time, I'm the Chugman and I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

Episode Review written by Chugman

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