You know what, I'm tired of typing. I'm gonna make this review short and sweet as usual.
Backstreet Boys: Short? You're just lazy, Paul! Ya know, we have a habit of sucking just as much as you suck at writing reviews!
Very f***ing funnt, now get the F*** out of my review, Backside Boys, youre making it suck even more! Good riddance the review tonight will feature Tom Green, which makes it even more sucky. So, with all mention of "further ado" flushed down the sh!tter, time to move on to the [sucky] review
[OPEN] Scandals Arkansas Style
Great opening to the show. Horatio and Chris P. were great in their roles, Darrell is his usual great Clinton self, and Ana's Hillary was above average. Great way to start the show. Rating: 9
Something's changed around here, but I can't seem to figure out what it is they accidentally misplaced the video clip of that woman player who did crapass recurring sketches with one catch phrase that nobody found funny I wonder where they put that clip?
[MONO] Tap Tap Tap, Down Goes Her Strap!
The tap dancing stuff was pretty lame-O. Will wasn't very good, except for the cramp part. Katie handled her little unsnapping crisis well, otherwise live TV viewers would be on a train to Hooterville. By the way, Katie is in my book as #2 on the hot list of women to host the show (J. Lo is #1), she looked the hottest in this monologue, definitely. Rating: 8
[SHOW] Inter-Species Romance, isn't it great?
Tom Green: You're damn right it is!
Shut up Tom, I hope your house burns to the ground. This sketch had its moments, that's for sure. Kattan delivers another knockout performance. There were a few close calls; Joey almost dies in the sketch after an overdose, and then gets her hand smushed by the big trunk that fell over on accident! Peepers' CPR method seems to work better than the traditional mouth to mouth way. (Of course, it's more convienient that way; to save a girl's life and f--- the bitch at the same time!) Anyway, this was a great performance. Fallon and Sanz were good too, even though their roles were limited. Rating: 9
[INTERLUDE] Who the hell is that hick with the weird-ass
First of all, don't call him a hick, or he'll whip out his sawed off shotgun and blast your brains all over the couch. He's Junior Brown, world class country music player. The tunes are not bad considering I can't satand Garth Brooks-esque country music.
[SKIT] I'm a friggin' psychic, look whos' house eats
This was pretty good, Maya actually delivers a good performance, for once. Jimmy Fallon looked and acted almost exactly like Tom Green. Katie is the second host this year to portray Drew Barrymore. Great job, not perfect though. Rating: 9
[TOON] Hey, that's our job, and we're proud of it!
"Backstreet Boys, Backstreet Boys, sucking hard for the human race"
An absolutely hilarious cartoon! Especially the way the crap fell off of the notes, and the bad note eating/humping the good notes. Great idea for a sketch, I wouldn't mind seeing another one of these made. Rating: 10
[MUSC] I think these guys admit they're guilty as charged
The song: "I Did It." The band: Dave Matthews Band. What I think: Great song and great performance. The rating: 10
[WEEKEND UPDATE] Jon Stewart was right about Eminem's sexual
I only watched the first _ hour of the Grammys, and Jon Stewart mentioned the fact (?) that Eminem is a fag in hiding. He must be right about that! Horatio and Chris P. are great, again. The jokes were funny too, which is rare in today's WU. Rating: 10
[SKCH] How many people actually WATCH live webcasts of other
people (besides porn)?
I'm sure there ain't more than ten homo nerds who watch other people's personal live webcasts (excluding porno). Take this sketch, it sucks. Add Horatio Sanz, and it doesn't suck that much. Add Katie Holmes and it doesn't suck as much. Add Murray Head music to the background and the sketch timewarps back to the early 80s. That sucks. Not as bad as the first installment, but still below par with the rest of the show. Rating: 5
[SKCH] Nobody can resist kicking and twisting my schweaty
Funny, in a disgusting way. The part at the end where the balls fell out was flat out gross, even though Will was holding dino eggs instead of real huevos, it looked fake as hell.
Tom Green: You know, a moose's pair are really that big.
Thanks for the report, Tom, but next time don't give us too much information. Rating: 8
[MUSC] I didn't go to the fridge, I swear!
Whenever DMB is playing on SNL, I don't go to the fridge and grab me a nice ice cold frost brewed Coors Lite. (OK, fine, a nice ice cold Pepsi.) This was another exceptional song by an exceptional vocalist and band. Rating: 10
[SKCH] Ana takes over for Molly in the sh!tty recurring
You thought Helen Madden, Sally O'Malley, and Jeannie Darcy were gone, huh? Well, Ana's taken over as the leading female cast member. This new bit, Passive Aggressive Pam, is no Cinder Calhoun it sucks! (I liked Cinder Calhoun sketches, especially the Garth Brooks one). This one had one premise by which they based the whole sketch, and it got old after one line. And the singers in between the scenes didn't help anyway. Rating: 4
[SKCH] Maya's in another sketch? What the hell is the world
Not to say that that's bad or anything. Maya has actually been OK as of late. This sketch brought back painful memories of the Airport Bar. But Katie Holmes saved this sketch from falling into that same trap. Rating: 7
To Sum Up How the Show Was
It was pretty good, except for the end. Material tends to get weaker as the show goes on, and in this case it was true. That's the last part of my review. I'd like to thank Tom Green for screwing up this review with his mere presence
Tom Green: Undies are funny, I like to wear undies, UNDIES!
You're not funny, Tom, and you've just made this review suck even more with that utterance. Get the hell out and don't come back. Ever. You're done! Late! This is the end of this review, which blew chunks! I'm Paul Buxton, sayin' goodbye à la Vanilla Ice "Yo, let's get outta here... word to your mother!"
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