Katie Holmes / Dave Matthews Band
February 24, 2001

Katie Holmes is of course this season's patented Dawson's Creek host. I've
never seen the show because I simply refuse to watch it or any other awful
show on the WB. I recently saw 'The Gift' which she was in, but was killed
pretty early on in the movie. She didn't really impress in that movie, mostly
because her southern accent wasn't very believable. The other movie I saw with
her in was "Teaching Mrs. Tingle" which is one of the worst movie I ever paid
to see, I don't know what I was thinking, I knew it would suck. I hear that
movie originally had a totally different plot and the original title was
'Killing Mrs. Tingle" but after the Columbine event, they were forced to
severely edit the script in a very short period of time which could explain
why the final product was so bad. Anyway, James Van Deer Beek and Joshua
Jackson were not the greatest hosts, but still remained to be above average
shows, which I'm expected this to be.

[OPENING] The Clinton's
I had a feeling the latest Clinton news would make it for this week's cold
opening. I was thinking, without this latest Clinton story, Darrell might not
have been in any sketches this week, hes gotta get himself a new impression
that goes over well with the audience, hell it would even be nice to see him
get a character. Horatio looked alot like Hillary Clinton's brother, they
couldn't have picked anyone better to play him. Parnell was a pretty good
choice as well for Roger Clinton. This had some good moments, and it was a
nice break from the constant George W. Bush openings. Not too bad, but not as
good as the past Clinton sketches.
Grade: B
Funny lines: "Hey, hey, hey, use a coaster. That table's from the White
House." -- Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton .. "America, you deserve an answer
to all these troubling questions. Tonight I'd like to offer one simple
explanation that covers them all. I do what I likes, and I likes what I do."
-- Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton

[MONOLOGUE] Katie Holmes
Started off alright, but got kind of tiresome alittle bit too quickly. Katie
Holmes really didn't say too much once Will took the stage. Will was pretty
funny trying to keep up with the steps on tape, sort of reminded me of Steve
Martin's NBC on strike monologue for some reason, only that was a much funnier
monologue than this turned out to be. The only thing I remember actually
laughing at besides Will's dancing was Will Ferrell mentioning Savion Glover
was his step-son.
Grade: C+
Funny lines: I studied tap for two summers at Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance,
DANCE!" -- Will Ferrell .. "I don't know if your familiar with Savion Glover
of Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk. Hes my stepson. I sure wish he would
return my phone calls." -- Will Ferrell

[SKETCH] Mr. Peepers
This sketch has really been done to death, but it seemed alittle better than
usual, mostly because Chris Kattan seemed crazier than usual, especially
during the lunchroom scene, Mr. Peepers isn't usually that violent. Maybe I
was just in a better mood, who knows. The Dawson's Creek setting was a nice
touch too, but since I don't watch the show I'm probably missing out on afew
jokes. Plus during the zoom in, his facial expression was pretty funny, and in
the next shot he fit half of his fist into his mouth which looked even
funnier. Jimmy Fallon did a pretty good James Van Deer Beek too.
Grade: B

[SKETCH] KXLA Special Report: Drew Barrymore and Tom Green
All I can say is, that its about friggin' time someone on TV is picking on Tom
Green and his freakshow marriage. Jimmy Fallon was right on with his
impression of Tom Green, he had his annoying voice down almost perfect, the
way he stares into the camera like hes surprised or frightened, the way he
repeats things in a loud voice at an attempt to be funny (YOUR A FIREMAN! YOUR
DOGGIE! DOGGIE!), and of course his obsession with dry humping animals. That
David Arquette comment from Fido was great, I made a similar comment in my Tom
Green episode review. Maya Rudolph was also pretty good as your typical bad
pun making reporter. The only real low point was Katie Holmes Drew Barrymore
impression, not too good. Where is Kate Hudson when you need her?
Grade: B+
Funny lines: "Barrymore is the FLAME haired actress known for her HOT roles in
FIREstarter, Home FRIES, and CHARlies Angels. Whats that? Stop making puns."
-- Maya Rudolph as Maria Escobal .. "This dude is hilarious, I sure wanna get
high wit' you." -- Tracy Morgan .. "Drew, you gotta lose this guy, he makes
David Arquette look like a genius." -- The Dog

[CARTOON] Backstreet Boys
Robert Smigel is really letting everyone have it this year. This time its the
Backstreet Boys, and rightfully so. If I had a "Should be Shot" list, these
guys would definitely be on the first page. The theme song was really the best
part of the entire bit, but had alot of funny moments. I especially liked the
country lapping up their music note suck goblins. Pretty funny Rudolph
Giuliani and Paul McCartney impressions too, even if it was alittle bit of a
ripoff of Dana Carvey's impression.
Grade: B+
Funny lines: "You guys rock" "Thanks Mr. Tesh" -- John Tesh and one of the
Backstreet boys .. "When I first left ET for music, I sucked harder than a
Hoover, but now look at me. I'm an excepted member of the music community."
"No hes not." -- John Tesh and Paul Simon

[SKETCH] Lovers that Love (I know)
I recall reading Benjamin LeBaron's (SNLRA) trip to SNL during the Mena Suvari
dress rehearsal show afew weeks ago and he mentioned this sketch being cut
from the live broadcast. For the most part, this was pretty funny at times,
but did have some slow spots. Reminded me of the Zimmerman characters, only
this didn't rely on physical humor for laughs. I don't know if that has
potential for becoming a new recurring sketch though.
Grade: B

[MUSICAL GUEST] Dave Matthews Band
You just knew they'd have to do this song. Pretty catchy song after hearing it
just once. I never really got into the Dave Matthews Band, but this was pretty
good. Call me crazy, but the lead singer kind of looks like Jermey Piven from
a far distance.
Grade: B

[WEEKEND UPDATE] with Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey
Whats with Weekend Update getting shorter and shorter every week? Not as good
as the previous weeks, but did have afew good jokes, nothing too great though.
Tina Fey's "Women's News" segment wasn't that good this time, it didn't really
seem to go anywhere. One of the few weak things shes done this season. The
highlight of course was the Grammys clip of the Eminem and Elton John duet. A
great way to showcase the incredible talents of Chris Parnell, which SNL
doesn't seem to do enough of these days. The end was quite predictable, but
funny as hell. What the hell was Horatio doing on the ground in the second
shot though? Whatever he was doing, it was pretty damn funny. Not bad for the
third Weekend Update in a row, the fifth if you count the 20 minute Thursday
Grade: B
Funny lines: "It was revealed Thursday that Roger Clinton also lobbied his
brother for several last minutes pardons for his friends. But they were not
granted. The former President explained to Roger that the pardons were
impossible to grant since the Dukes of Hazzard are not real guys." -- Tina Fey


[SKETCH] Jarrett's Room
Well, well, well.. Jarrett's Room is gonna be a returning bit on the show.
Surprise. Surprise. I really didn't care for this much the last time it aired.
Like the last time, the only real bright spot of this sketch, was Horatio's
burnout character on the 7 year plan. Since this is really a Jimmy Fallon
sketch, he should try making his character funny, because Horatio seems to get
most of the good lines here. Fallon really seems to be playing himself here,
while in most of his other sketches he at least puts a funny voice to his
character, even the ones that aren't funny. Katie Holmes really didn't add too
much to this either. The evil skittles corporation? People are really running
out of things to protest against. Anyway, this was fairly good, mostly because
of Horatio Sanz, and it was definitely better than the first one.
Grade: B (Something tells me thats being to nice.)
Funny lines: "I'd never wanna fight a war on drugs. It's hard enough GOING TO
SCHOOL ON DRUGS!" -- Horatio Sanz .. Let's just say, hypothetically, that I
cracked open one of my glow sticks and smoked it."

[SKETCH] Tough as Nails
This was really pretty good for such a one note sketch like this. This doesn't
seem like the type of sketch that would get this kind of time slot. What kept
the sketch funny were Will Ferrell's great facial expressions and pained
voices each time Katie Holmes gave it to his gonads, and of course the
ridiculously silly ending. It was also good to see Chris Parnell get another
semi-big part in a sketch. One of the funniest sketches I've seen tonight,
only a shame it was put in the show so late, since many of the viewers stop
watching the show afew Weekend Update is over.
Grade: B+
Funny lines: "Don't stop squeezing, until you hear a crunch." -- Chris Parnell
as the director .. "That was hurtin' me." -- Tracy Morgan as an actor ..
"These babies are big, red, and sore as hell." -- Will Ferrell as an actor

[SKETCH] Passaive-Aggressive Pam
I guess with Molly Shannon gone, SNL's trying to find it's new hit female
character. I'm all for subtle humor, but most of the nicely directed insults
were pretty unfunny, save for one or two. Ha, one of Katie Holmes shoes were
untied, or at least it looked like it. Her constant moving her hands was
pretty annoying, I can never stand when people do that for some odd reason.
The barbershop quartets that sang the theme song were kind of amusing, but
gives me that feeling that this will became a new recurring sketch on the
show. This sketch wasn't exactly horrible, but needs much improvement if it
returns. I believe this was Jerry Minor's only sketch tonight, this is the
second week in a row where he really hasn't done anything. (Last week his only
sketch was a paramedic laughing at a injured clown)
Grade: C
Funny lines: "Oohhh.. Junior College. Great. You know, my nephew had a
learning disability and he loooooved Junior College." -- Ana Gasteyer

[SKETCH] Singles at a Cruise Ship Bar
Oh god, Katie Holmes is using a voice very similar to that awful Southern
accent she did in The Gift. Oddly enough the accent didn't seem as blatantly
fake on live TV. Weird. Speaking of accents, it seemed like Chris Parnell kept
forgetting to use his Scottish accent sometimes. Has anyone ever noticed that
Maya Rudolph seems to appear in custom more than any other person in the cast
(well except for Darrell Hammond). She rarely ever looks like herself in any
sketches. Kind of like a female Dana Carvey. This slightly reminded me of the
Airport Bar sketch from the season premiere, neither sketch really seemed to
go anywhere, but this one wasn't as weird. Wow, it's amazing how fast they
were able to disassemble that set.
Grade: C-
Funny lines: "If I don't dance, I get really violent." -- Chris Parnell

Looking back on most of the sketches tonight, it seemed to have a even amount
of good sketches and weak sketches, most of the weak ones seemed to come up
during the end. It was a pretty good show considering they haven't had a real
break since the 3 weeks off during December, because of the Primetime shows
between Mena Suvari and Jennifer Lopez. Anyway, next time former SNL writer
turned late night talkshow host, Conan O'Brien will be hosting on March 10th.
I can't wait to see what kind of show he will do.

Episode Review written by Emmanual Goldstein

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