Tom Green / David Gray
November 18, 2000


Greetings, everyone! This is my first SNL review, but I've been an avid
watcher for as long as I can remember, and what I wasn't alive to see, I've
seen in reruns or on tape (Except for the early 80s stuff, what I have seen
of that was godawful). We still haven't got a president yet, but that can be
a good thing - it guarantees we'll see impressions of both Bush and Gore
tonight...I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't bear to part with
either one of them. But I do think Will Ferrell's Bush edges out Hammond's
Gore, if only because Will's got more to work with since Bush is such a
bumbling idiot. Anyway...

Just a random thought I wanted to get out. I personally want to see more
Chris Parnell. First of all, his Tom Brokaw impression is practically
flawless. As far as I'm concerned, it's one of the best impressions on the
show right now. But where Chris really shines is when he has something
musical to do. Back when he was just a featured player, he did a cold opener
as Newt Gingrich with Darrell Hammond as Clinton. They sang Opposites
Attract, and it was phenomenal. I always thought it should be a requirement
that SNL cast members should be able to sing, because when they do a musical
sketch, it's always hilarious. Speaking of music, I'd be stupid not to
mention a certain Weekend Update feature from last season. In the Britney
Spears episode last year, Chris came on Update and said he had written a
song about a date with Ms. Spears. Chris being a pretty conservative
looking, clean cut guy, everyone expected a cute little acoustic. Well, we
were wrong. "LISTEN UP, BIATCH!!!" Chris went into a full-on, no-holds,
kickass rap, and the audience went wild. He saved the episode, and proved
that given the chance, he can be awesome...too bad he's usually put in the
"bartender" roles. More Chris, please. OK, my little tribute is over.

Preshow thoughts: I've got high expectations for this show. What I've seen
of Tom Green is pretty hilarious, although some of it's a little too
raunchy, even for my tastes. I'm surprised Lorne Michaels trusts him live.
I've heard rumors that Tom and Drew Barrymore are going to get married on
the air...I don't know about that. I do know his parents are making an
appearance. Poor people. What they've had to put up with from Tom would make
any sane person crack. I also heard that a Mango sketch is expected. Ugh.
Sorry Chris K., but this had better be good. I'm so tired of Mango (and I'm
not the only one) that it would take a miracle for me to enjoy that part of
the show. Last year, that miracle came in the form of Michael Stipe in
silver platform shoes. But since R.E.M. isn't on this show, I'm not too
excited about that. I'm not too familiar with David Gray, but I do know
these 4 things about him:
1) His song "Babylon" is pretty good, a big change from most everything else
on the radio.
2) He sounds a lot like Dave Matthews.
3) He's huge in England.
4) He's rather odd looking.
Kudos to Lorne for putting a relatively obscure artist on the show. I hope
he measures up. OK...here we go

Cold Opener: Opposites Attract
I was thrilled to see Chris P.'s Tom Brokaw, it's so perfect it's scary.
Will's Bush is so hilarious, it's too bad a lot of it is true. I liked his
play off of his dad, "Read my mouth." I Got You Babe was getting a lot of
laughs, even from my mom, who hates the new cast (she's a Not Ready For
Primetime fan). "So let them say I was a boozer, at least I'm not a stinkin'
sore loser." I know they almost always start the show with a political
sketch, but if they're like this I won't mind. Grade: A+

Monologue: Here comes the bride...
As soon as Tom came out in that tuxedo, I knew they were going to do
something wedding-related. Tom's dad didn't seem that fazed by Tom's
tongue...he must be used to it by now. I didn't see the point of them
admitting it was a skit, everyone knows they rehearse these things. Not too
hilarious, but Tom's insanity saved it. Grade: B-

Commercial: Magic Mouth
This was really sick. Will probably thinks up all these commercials, it
looked like it came from the same twisted mind that thought up the Ecstasy
cereal last week. Best line was, "It's like having a professor up your
butt." Too gross for me though. Grade: C-

Sketch: Birdwatching
Jimmy looked dumb throughout this entire sketch, even his voice was
retarded. This really wasn't that funny at all, although it might have been
fun to be in the audience. Tom seemed to be pulling a Mr. Peepers with those
carrots. The tongue business was really sick, but the funniest part of the
sketch. Grade: D+

Sketch: Rap Street
I don't think Horatio and Jerry got even a smile from me throughout this
whole thing. I couldn't help wishing for Chris P. to show up and teach these
cats how to rap. The funniest part of their conversation was the names of
the grandkids. Dorito? Right. Luckily Tom showed up and salvaged this
sketch. I couldn't help laughing at his Beck-esque rap...Funny Undies! Why
was Maya singing in an English accent? His dance at the end was funny too.
Grade: B-

Sketch: Lorne and Tom in a Tub
This was very random and odd. The quacking got a little old, but it was so
weird it was funny. I enjoyed seeing Lorne Michaels drinking a juice box.
Typical Tom Green sketch, I guess. Grade: B-

Sketch: Hardball
Poor Chris. This seems like it's what he's going through on the show, too.
Ana was truly frightening, especially her twisted smile. This didn't give me
too many laughs at all though. Grade: D

Cartoon: Sex in the Country (Fun with Real Audio)
I was hoping for a AGD cartoon, but this was still pretty funny. I can never
look at farm animals the same way again. The swing reminded me of Catherine
the Great. In case you don't know your sick history: Catherine the Great was
a sex maniac, and the only thing that would satisfy her was f-ing a horse.
She built some special machine in order to do it, but the horse fell and
crushed her. How sad. Grade: B

Sketch: Dog Show
Problems galore here, both Will and Tom slow on cues, plus that damn pig
would not shut up. I never really find Dog Show that funny, since they
repeat a lot of jokes. ("Maybe I am, and maybe I AM.") I was impressed that
Will didn't break character when Cherries Jubilee started squealing, Tom and
Molly did. Tom's voice was kinda funny though. I don't think I would lose
any sleep at night if Dog Show never happened again. Grade: D-

Weekend Update
Jimmy's improving every week, although Tina Fey kept rubbing her nose, which
REALLY annoyed me. Molly's bad comedienne was OK, she seemed very real.
Funniest part of update was Jimmy's swoosh sound during the gossip segment.
I think Jimmy must be REALLY horny, he's kissed everyone lately! Grade: B-

Musical Guest: David Gray
The music was great, it's nice to hear folky stuff again. David Gray is very
bizarre looking, he's got a rubber neck or something. The camera work was
experimental but nice, the shot from behind him was particularly good. I'm
glad the trend of talking to the camera started and ended with Ricky Martin,
that was really irritating. Grade: A-

Sketch: Oprah
Maya does a pretty accurate Oprah, but Will's character was the only one
getting laughs. His proverbs were pretty funny. "If you're hungry for a corn
dog, a midget with a butcher knife doesn't dance, does he?" I didn't think
Tom's pain was that funny, I just felt kinda bad because that is exactly
what happens on Oprah. Grade: C+

Sketch: Storytellers - Air Supply
I know this was a real band, but I don't remember any of their songs either.
This was really funny though, nice to see Chris K. can be funny even when
he's not hyperactive. I love musical sketches. Grade: A

Sketch: Rock Around the Clock
This was also very strange, I didn't really see the point. OK, so they broke
the clock. The band was good, though. Grade: D

Ending Credits: Tom is rejected
I saw this coming from a mile away, but Tom screaming and curling up into
the fetal position was still kinda funny. I was glad to see Glenn Humplik
and the other guy from Tom's show there, I thought that was a nice touch.
More entertaining than the usual ending credits. Grade: B

Overall, I thought it was an OK show. A lot of homoeroticism, what was it,
three male-male kisses? No Mango, which I was thrilled about. Tom was a
"good boy" and didn't do anything stupid live, I was very surprised at his
self-control. I think he really held the show together, and sparked life
into some dying sketches. David Gray was good also, I would have liked to
hear another song from him, even if he does need to have his spine realigned
or something. Average Grade: C

Receives the Charles Atlas Seal of Approval: Will Ferrell, who was all over
the place, starring in a whopping 7 sketches, and doing a great job in all
of them.
Should have stayed home and counted toothpicks: Rachel Dratch, who I don't
even think bothered showing up. Or if you want someone who was actually in
the show, then Jerry Minor, who was NOT funny at all in Rap Street.

Next week: Britney Spears hosts! Yay! I hate her! Hey, at least this gives
us all an opportunity to see Chris Parnell's brilliant rap again! Tip from
me: Tune in at 12:15, you can miss the beginning of the show with no
regrets. Bye for now! Comments, raves, death threats should be sent to
swinginchick9@hotmail.com


Episode Review written by Rebecca Birmingham


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