Lara Flynn Boyle / Bon Jovi
May 12, 2001


Classic Sketch of the Week:

[SKETCH] New Employee Test
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Originally Aired:
May 15, 1982
Performers: Billy Hoskins (Danny DeVito), Mrs. Hoskins (voice of MAG), Beth (CHE), Miguel (voice of TOR), Don (JOP), Cocaine Dealer (EDM), Boss (BDM)
Synopsis: (Danny DeVito)'s boss (Brian Doyle-Murray) puts him through an a trying and emotional test to become senior VP.
Comments: I feel a little it about this sketch like I felt about "Meet The Parents": it's kinda hard to see someone go through so much pain. Thankfully, this sketch wasn't nearly as long, so I couldn't feel that sorry, and I could still enjoy it.
Rating: **** 3/8 = B+

[SKETCH] Democrat Debate '92: The Race To Avoid Being The Guy Who Loses To Bush
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Originally Aired:
November 2, 1991
Performers: Faye Sullivan (JUS), Bill Bradley (KEN), Dick Gephardt (DAC), Lloyd Bentsen (Kiefer Sutherland), Tipper Gore (VIJ), Mario Cuomo (PHH)
Synopsis: The Democratic candidates slander themselves to make sure they aren't saddled with the Democratic Nomination
Comments: Another well done debate sketch, and pretty good impressions, especially by host Kiefer Sutherland. I would have liked to have seen them do Al Gore, just to see who would have done the impression.
Rating: **** 1/2 = A-
Quote:
Dick Gephardt: "What this party needs is the integrity, the vision, and the guts of an Al Gore."
All: "Gore! Gore! Gore! Gore!"
Tipper Gore: "That isn't fair, my husband isn't here tonight to answer to that kind of smear."
Dick Gephardt: "Then I have to ask you, if your husband doesn't think he should be this party's nominee, why didn't he bother to show up here tonight?"
Tipper Gore: "My husband is with our kids at a gay porno theater."
"The real issue here is very simple: I have mob ties."
Mario Cuomo

OVERVIEW: Lara Flynn Boyle / Bon Jovi
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I'm sick, so I'm not really into doing the intro this week. How 'bout host decent, musical guest very good? Okay. But one interesting fact: the last 3-name host was the host in this exact slot two years ago. 98s' Sarah Michelle Gellar, meet 00s' Lara Flynn Boyle. Just thought you'd like to know

[COLD OPENING] A Message from Vice-President Dick Cheney
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Performers:
Dick Cheney (DAH)
Synopsis: Dick Cheney (Darrell Hammond) reveals that he's designed his boring personality to save energy.
Comments: Pretty good, although it did suffer from an overlong introduction, and it took them awhile to get to the funny stuff. CHeney's comment about his outburst sounded a lot like jon Lovitz's michael Dukakis.
Rating: **** = B-
Live from New York: Darrell Hammond

MISCELLANIOUS: Opening Credits
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Lah-ra Flynn Boyle? Okay.

[MONOLOGUE] Lara Flynn Boyle
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Performers:
Host, Keith (Adam McKay)
Synopsis: Audience member (Adam McKay) harasses Lara Flynn Boyle about her weight and her relationship with Jack Nicholson.
Comments: Okay, the hell? They did a sequel to the Tobey Maguire monologue? The Tobey Maguire monologue? That was a mediocre episode at best, and certainly didn't have a good monologue. Sure, there were some good comments by McKay, enough to bring it up two grades, but they should have looked somewhere else.
Rating: *** 1/2 = C-

[COMMERCIAL] Corn Chip Nail Tips
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Originally Aired: October 7, 2000
Performers: Subway Girl #1 (MAR), Subway Girl #2 (TRM), Subway Guy (HOS)
Comments: What the hell, why don't I give this repeat a
Rating: *** 7/8 = C+

[SKETCH] Odd Doctors
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Performers:
Nurse (RAD), Patient (CHP), Doctor (WIF), Dr. Wallace (host), Real Doctor (DAH)
Synopsis: Fake doctors (Will Ferrell), (Rachel Dratch), & (Lara Flynn Boyle) feel up (Chris Parnell).
Comments:
Okay, this was monotonous, and it's unbelieveable they put this as the first sketch. But occasionally it was funny, and I liked the idea that these were just people off the street and not real doctors, so that pulled it from the abyss.
Rating: *** = D+

[SKETCH] Bon Jovi Meets The DeMarcos
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Performers:
John Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora, Kyle DeMarco (CHK), Sean DeMarco (CHP)
Synopsis: Kyle (Chris Kattan) & Sean (Chris Parnell) DeMarco try out for Bon Jovi's backup singers.
Comments: I could see why people wouldn't like these sketches; they're hardly the bitter satire that SNL excels at. But they're just fun, and they actually gave the musical guest something funny to say.
Rating: **** 5/8 = A-
Quote: "Know what? I don't usually give people second chances. So get out." John Bon Jovi

[SKETCH] MTV Cribs
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Performers:
Robert Downey Jr. (CHK)
Synopsis: Robert Downey Jr. (Chris Kattan) shows off his jail cell.
Comments: Short but sweet.
Rating: **** 3/8 = B+
Quote: "Bed. Toilet. That's pretty much it." Robert Downey Jr.

[SKETCH] Save The Starving Actresses
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Performers: Host
Synopsis: Lara Flynn Boyle makes an appeal to viewers to Save The Starving Actresses.
Comments: Though we may have partially seen this coming, it was still quite funny, though I admit covering Jack Nicholson with 1000 Island dressing doesn't seem very appealing to me.
Rating: **** _ = A-
Quote: "You can't just hand Sarah Jessica Parker a sandwich. The poor thing wouldn't know what to do." Lara Flynn Boyle
Unknown Harmonica Player

[SKETCH] The Scarlet Letter
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Performers:
Narrator (DAH), Villager (CHP), Villager (HOS), Accused (ANG), Villager (JIF), Scarleted Woman (host), Fey Villager (WIF), Scarleted Woman #2 (RAD), Scarleted Woman #3 (MAR)
Synopsis: Villagers (Chris Parnell) & (Horatio Sanz) are turned on by the letters (Lara Flynn Boyle) has been scarletted with.
Comments: I didn't get the point of this sketch at all until Rachel Dratch and Maya Rudolph came out, and by then it was too late. But I can still retroactively alter the grade, because I have seen the light. Yes, I have seen the light.
Rating: *** 7/8 = C+

[MUSICAL GUEST] Bon Jovi: "It's My Life"
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Comments:
Okay, this was beyond cool. Sure, I'm surprised they didn't perform any new material tonight but the two songs they did are rightfully classics.
Rating: **** 3/4 = A

[WEEKEND UPDATE] Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey with Lou Reed
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Performers:
JIF, TIF, Lou Reed
Synopsis: Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey anchor the May 12, 2001 edition of Weekend Update, while Lou Reed responds to death rumors by claiming he's actually dead.
Comments: Lou Reed who? Despite my not having a clue who the guy is, it was still funny, although they should stop only putting one correspondent. But Jimmy really oughta really rethink throwing those pencils. Sure, it's all fun and games now, but what about someone puts an eye out, young man?
Rating: **** 1/4 = B
Quote: "Massachusetts governor Jane Swift is making history as the first governor to be pregnant while in office. Swift said she's extremely excited, happy, sad, nauseous, angry, depressed, and happy again." Tina Fey
"Cliff Hilgas, the creator of Cliff Notes, died Saturday at his home in Liincoln, Nebraska at the age of 83. Services will be held Sunday from 2:00 to 2:05." Jimmy Fallon

[SKETCH] Moulin Rouge
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Performers:
Announcer (DAH), Christina Aguliera (ANG), Maya (MAR), Meatloaf (HOS), Ian McGregor (JIF), Nicole Kidman (host), Ewen (WIF), Toluse LaTrec (CHK)
Synopsis: Seventies music is futilely tried to be placed in the movie muscial Moulin Rouge.
Comments: This was great, my two favorite being Jimmy's "Let Me Sleep On It," and Will's "Kung Fu Fighting." I admit I have no clue who Horatio Sanz was supposed to be, but he was still funny.
Rating: **** 3/4 = A
Quote: "Rolling Stone says the music from Moulin Rouge is 'interesting.'" Announcer

[SKETCH] MSNBC Investigates
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Performers:
Anchor (WIF), Nora O'Donnell (host), Jamie Grubner (CHK), Ryan (JIF), Barbara Grubner (MAR), William Grubner (CHP), Tim (HOS), Kevin (TRM), Bea Arthur (ANG)
Synopsis: MSNBC investigates the tragic consequences of a kid (Chris Kattan) imitating what he saw on "The Golden Girls."
Comments: A fine idea, and a fine execution. I enjoyed Jimmy's near-cry at the end, which made up for his third muffing of a line this year.
Rating: **** 1/2 = A-
Quote: "They made tapes. I assumed they were going to mail them to Bea Arthur. I tried to tell them they were reruns!" Mrs. Grubner

[SKETCH] Wake Up, Wakefield
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Performers: Megan (MAR), Sheldon (RAD), Miss Grettle Stokes (host), Mr Bailey (HOS), Randy Goldman (JIF)
Synopsis: Megan (Maya Rudolph) & Sheldon (Rachel Dratch) interview their gym teacher (Lara Flynn Boyle) on their school show.
Comments: I can just hear the thrashing this'll get when I post this, but I liked this sketch. Lara didn't make quite as good a guest as Julia Stiles, but she did okay. Just okay.
Rating: **** = B-

[SKETCH] A Message from Shaquille O'Neal
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Performers:
Shaquille O'Neal (TRM)
Synopsis: Shaquille O'Neal (Tracy Morgan) believes that people don't know when he's joking or not.
Comments: I like how they put Tracy in with mini-furniture. I don't know why I bothered saying that, but Tracy did a good job.
Rating: **** 1/8 = B-
"When I said that Tyra Banks becomes sexually aroused when I put on a big daiper and dance around, that was not true. She did not enjoy that at all." Shaquille O'Neal

[MUSICAL GUEST] Bon Jovi: "Shot Through The Heart"
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Comments:
See above Bon Jovi review. Sorry for skipping out, but I'm both sick and tired now.
Rating: **** 1/4 = A-

[SKETCH] The Bloaters at Shooters
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Performers:
Waitress (host), Wayne Bloater (CHP), Kim Bloater (JIF)
Synopsis: The Bloater Brothers (Jimmy Fallon) & (Chris Parnell) use humor as a self-defense mechanism with Shooters waiter (Lara Flynn Boyle).
Comments: See first sentence of "Wake Up, Wakefield." But I admit, this was a big improvement over the last two Bloater sketches, which last aired a whole year ago. When Lara "took her top off," you could see she still had a bra on. Not that I would notice such a detail
Rating: **** 1/4 = B

MISCELLANIOUS: Good-byes
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Oh my God, they cut her off when she was still talking! Sure, she probably should have shut up at some point, but it was still mean. Yeah, I know they have to cut it off at 1:00 no matter what's happening, but still mean.

Player of the Night: Jimmy Fallon
Best Sketch of the Night: Moulin Rouge
Worst Sketch of the Night: Fake Doctors
Player Sketch Breakdown: Host (8 sketches), JIF (6 sketches), CHP, HOS and MAR (5 sketches), CHK, DAH and WIF (4 sketches), ANG, RAD and TRM (3 sketches), John Bon Jovi, Lou Reed, Richie Sambora and TIF (1 sketch), JEM (0 sketches)
Overall Episode Rating: **** = B-

AFTERTHOUGHTS: Lara Flynn Boyle / Bon Jovi
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Sure, the uneven quality of both Lara's performances and the sketches left this show average, but Bon Jovi was beyond cool, so it propped it up to a little bit above average. Well, next week, Christopher Walken comes back 3 years early as host (barring any chance Walken gets sick, John Goodman misses for the first time since the '80s), and musical guest is the most alternative of the alternative bands, Weezer. See ya next week.


Episode Review written by Mikintosh


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