Molly, Ana & Cheri Give Relationship Advice to 'Marie Claire' Readers

By Ana Gasteyer, Cheri Oteri, and Molly Shannon

Q: I'm never attracted to guys who want a stable, meaningful relationship. I always like cocky guys. How do I get over this?

A: There is something sexy about a guy who will abandon you. But please, please turn the other way. I think we pick the bad guys to give the story a better ending -- blah, blah, blah. Try to figure out why you feel that's all you deserve. Personally, I found that the more loving I was with myself, the more I attracted good guys. --Molly

Q: For the past five years I've been having sex (nothing else) with the same man once a week. I recently told him I've fallen in love with him. He didn't say anything. Is he just not interested?

A: Even your average tree stump can be good in bed sometimes, but does it fulfill all of your needs? For not saying anything, this guy is either emotionally retarded or very rude. But for a relationship to develop into true love, it takes more than once-a-week sex. --Ana

Q: My boyfriend told me he cheated on his last girlfriend three times. He promises he'll be faithful to me, but my friends say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

A: Every girl thinks a guy will be different for her, but some men love the notion of commitment, not the reality. Before you commit, let him reveal himself a little more, but in the meantime, just hang out and enjoy the rat bastard. --Cheri

Q: My boyfriend really likes his "alone" time (to work on his car, fix things, etc.), but we're apart I'm feeling neglected.

A: Try a little "alone time" yourself. (For years, I thought that meant taking soulful walks listening to Rickie Lee Jones and analyzing myself. I was left depressed, with sore feet.) Try anything from margaritas with girlfriends to taking a Karate class. You'll have more to talk about than laundry and tile grout when you come home to him. --Ana

Q: My boyfriend has been best friends with the same beautiful woman since long before I met him. A friend saw them walking arm-in-arm and he wasn't embarrassed. Should I ask him to stop this public affection?

A: It sounds like they really are just good friends. Big deal if they're affectionate! He's not being secretive, so he likely has nothing to hide. You are his girlfriend. Try talking to him about it -- gently! He will hear you better that way. --Molly

Q: My husband has taken a second job as a bartender. I went to visit him one night and saw pretty women constantly hitting on him. I'm afraid that with all that temptation, he might cheat.

A: I'd love to say trust him and let him earn some extra money, but I can't. I was a bartender. He could be a great guy, but single women mixed with alcohol is a toxic cocktail. Can he type? --Cheri

Q: My husband overheard me telling my best friend about our sex life. He's really mad -- does he have any right to be?

A: If you were mocking the fact that he names his penis "Thor," he (and the God of Thunder) may legitimately get pissed. But if your conversation was more or less kind, he should cool his jets. --Ana

Q: I went to Australia on vacation and met a great man. We call and write to each other often. Can a long-distance relationship like this ever work out?

A: Absolutely! Many of my SNL coworkers are involved in L.A.-N.Y. relationships, and they seem just fine. If you don't take the risk, you'll never know. --Molly

Q: My fiance admitted that during a recent business trip to Asia he had an "encounter" with a masseuse. He swears she only used her hands. I'm thinking of calling the marriage of -- should I?

A: What's a hand job from one of out Pacific Rim friends? I'm kidding. Hey, it's a different culture and he did tell you about it. So, I'd postpone but not call off because of the jerk-off. --Cheri

Source: Marie Claire

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