LATE BREAKING NEWS
Sketches on Tonight's Show
By Sean Bradley
Here's a list of sketches scheduled for tonight's live episode
of "Saturday Night Live," with host John Goodman and
musical guest Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
- Cold Open - The opening is Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond)-related.
It's a tie-in to his actions about the war in Kosovo, first saying
that they would do a major bombing campaign and they do, and
then his statements about not sending in ground troops, etc.
The premise is that he's always lied in the past, and didn't
expect the public to believe him, but now they do.
- Monologue: An audience member interrupts John Goodman
and says "Isn't this a rerun? Didn't you do an episode with
Tom Petty in 1989?" Goodman assures him it's not a rerun.
Lorne Michaels enters, wearing a brown wig and T-shirt, and makes
it appear even more as if it's a rerun.
- "Whore House" - Goodman plays a customer in this
sketch. When he goes to settle up his final bill, he is asked
for information like his zip code, etc., which he doesn't want
to give out. Then he is asked which "services" he received,
and again doesn't really want to say, so they give him an alphabetical
list. One of the jokes: "What's this annual sex?"
Someone else says, "Oh yeah, I spelled it wrong."
- Horatio Sanz plays a rap singer named "Chub Hottie."
He's so big that he can't even get out of his bed, so all the
backup singers are singing and have to roll him around in this
- John Goodman enters an "MTV FANatic contest." He
supposedly enters for his kid to meet Britney Spears, but it's
really for him. Cheri Oteri plays Ms. Spears. The joke is, he
wants to do "kinky" things with her.
- A sketch in which Will Ferrell plays the prodigal son in
a family winery business.
Tonight's show will feature no recurring sketches -- all new
ones. No cameos either.
While all of these sketches are scheduled for the dress rehearsal,
any of them are subject to be cut prior to the live broadcast.
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